Consequences of Fear
by mayzee
Summary: Set around three months after Blue Bird. Jane and Lisbon are living together happily when a disastrous event threatens to drive them apart forever. Rated T/M for some sexy scenes. Reviews appreciated. Finally complete!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: For any of you who read my previous fanfic ****New Beginnings**** this is a sequel. However, if you haven't then please read on anyway as this story will also work as a standalone piece.**

**It is set around three months after Jane and Lisbon have been in a relationship. I like to send Jisbon on an emotional rollercoaster and this one is going to be a big one for them!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist, the wonderful Bruno Heller does.**

* * *

Consequences of Fear

Chapter 1 – Decisions

'Lisbon...Lisbon, wake up, you told me we would make a decision about this today' Jane said excitedly to a sleeping Lisbon, holding a mug of coffee under her nose to entice her.

'Mmm' she muttered sleepily, eyes tightly closed.

'Come on, it's gone 11am, you can go back to sleep once we decide.' He put the mug on the bedside table and sat on the bed next to her, moving her tousled hair aside and began to kiss her neck, knowing this would at least elicit some type of reaction from her.

She sighed happily, a smile beginning to form on her face and put her hand through his blond curls as Jane smiled. He had began kissing her to wake her up but other thoughts were now in his mind as he moved his lips to hers, gently kissing them at first until Lisbon parted her lips and pulled him closer, their tongues now exploring as the kisses became more passionate. He pulled the covers away swiftly so he could further explore her body, lifting up the football jersey she slept in. She lay on her back with her eyes still closed, her hands rifling through his hair and moaning softly, as his lips moved further down her body. She gasped as he fulfilled her craving, making her sit bolt upright on the bed afterwards, breathless and shaken.

Jane grinned looking at her. Her hair was practically covering all of her face with only one green eye visible, her cheek roaring red after the exertion.

'Ah, so you're finally awake then I see.' He stood up still grinning.

Lisbon was still a little confused. 'Wait, did you say it was 11am? Jane, I've only had two hours sleep. I was on a stakeout until this morning!' She fell back into the bed, bringing the covers back up.

'I lived on two hours sleep for years, it's enough.'

'Yeah, two hours a night and then about eight hours a day on your couch.'

'Well, that's a little grumpy considering the lovely way you were awoken this morning. I think I'm spoiling you too much, maybe I should withdraw my services for a while to make you appreciate them more.'

Lisbon opened her eyes again and brushed her hair from her face, smiling and answered, 'Yeah, I'd like to see who would give in first if we both did that.'

Jane smiled back and shrugged, 'Okay, point taken'. Lisbon grinned as he said, sitting back down on the bed, 'Come on, let's just decide quickly so I can go book it and then you can get back to sleep. Besides, I told you that nothing would come of that stakeout anyway, I told you it wasn't the sister in law.'

'Well, it was a good lead so Abbott wanted someone at the house. We can't all pick and choose our assignments like some. And if you decided to actually take an interest in this case instead of planning our trip then we might have closed it already.'

Jane shrugged and went to pick up the brochures from the top of the chest of drawers, handing them to her and said, 'You know I won't let you go back to sleep until we decide.'

Lisbon shrugged, pulling herself up to sit against the headboard and looked at the stack in front of her. 'Okay, so where do you want to go?'

'Lisbon, this has to be a joint decision, not just mine. It's our first real vacation together, a whole two weeks away from the office.'

Lisbon nodded, smiling. They had been together now for a little over three months. He had practically moved in from their first night together and she was amazed at how easy they had seemed to find the transition. They had been able to work and live together pretty harmoniously from the beginning and even Abbott seemed to think she was having a settling affect on him. Of course, he still loved his outrageous plans sometimes but always included her in them now and she was even able to talk him out of a few of the more extreme ones he had come up with.

'Okay' she said, thinking. 'It has to be the U.S. right?'

Jane nodded. 'Yes, I wasn't able to talk Abbott into letting me out of the country, not just yet.'

Lisbon nodded and said off the top of her head, 'How about D.C? You know the history, the monuments, and the museums, there are plenty of things to do there.'

Jane looked at her, one eye cocked and replied, 'D.C.? Seriously? Well that sounds wonderfully romantic, here we are walking hand in hand around the Washington Monument and who do we bump into but Marcus Pike!'

Lisbon smiled and answered, 'Oh, right, I forgot about that. Okay, not D.C. What about Hawaii? You know, the beautiful beaches and cocktails in the evening. If it's romance you want that's pretty close, no?'

Jane exhaled, looking from side to side and pursed his lips.

'Well, come on, what's wrong with that suggestion?' Lisbon replied angrily.

Jane bit his lip and answered quietly 'That's where...well, that's where I went on my honeymoon, sorry.' He smiled sheepishly.

Lisbon let out an exasperated sigh. 'Okay then. So not Hawaii either. Come on genius, your turn for a suggestion.'

Jane thought for a second. 'Well, I've been most places in this country already so maybe somewhere I haven't been, somewhere we've both never been, how about that?'

Lisbon nodded, beginning to flick through the brochures. 'Sounds good, so where then?'

Jane sat beside her in the bed, picking up a brochure and said after a few minutes, 'You ever been to Yosemite National Park?'

Lisbon shook her head. 'No. I thought about it when I lived in California but never had the time.'

Jane nodded. 'Neither have I. There are some pretty nice cabins you can rent, big fireplaces, romantic. There's great wildlife and scenery there for me, plenty of hiking paths so you can do your running and exercising thing. How about it?'

Lisbon grinned. 'Let's do it.'

Jane jumped off the bed and said, 'Okay, I'll book something today at the Travel Agents while you get some more sleep.'

'You know, you can book pretty much everything online now.'

'Meh, you know what I'm like with computers, it would take me twice as long and this way I can finally let you get some more shut eye.'

Lisbon nodded, snuggling her way back into the bed and replied, 'Well I won't complain about that', taking a sip of coffee before getting comfortable.

As Jane was leaving he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead and said, 'See you later, my sweet, love you.'

Lisbon giggled at the term. 'Okay, love you too'. She shouted after him, 'And when you come back you need to begin to focus on this case, no more excuses. And get some milk.'


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all your lovely reviews for the first chapte****r. Hope you enjoy this one too, a little bit more fluff before we get to the serious stuff next.**

* * *

Chapter 2 - Progress

After Jane returned he checked on a sound asleep Lisbon. He wondered if he would ever get over feeling that sense of dread when he opened the bedroom door after coming home to her. After making himself a cup of tea he lay down on the couch, picking up the case files from the coffee table.

After an hour or so he heard the shower going so went over and turned the coffee machine back on and made some sandwiches.

'Hey, you're back, did you get it booked then?' she smiled as she came into the living room dressed in a white blouse and black jeans, her hair still damp and standing on tiptoes in her bare feet to kiss his lips gently.

Jane kissed her back. 'Yep, all booked. Constance is even going to try to get us an upgrade to a room with a Jacuzzi. You see, you can't get that type of personal service from the internet.'

Lisbon smiled and answered, 'Oh, she is, is she? In other words you used all your charm and powers of persuasion on her. She didn't stand a chance, poor woman.'

'Well, you're hardly one to talk. I use them on you all the time' he replied, grinning.

Lisbon picked up a sandwich and looked at the files opened on the table. 'You've had a look at the files? So, what do you think?' she asked him eagerly.

Jane raised an eyebrow. 'You realise you're happier with the fact that I've finally taken an interest in this case than with the fact that I've booked our vacation?'

Lisbon answered, slightly embarrassed, 'Of course I'm happy we're going away. But we're getting nowhere with this case and Abbott's going to be on my ass if we don't get a break soon. He's put me in charge of this so it's a big deal to me.'

'Well, firstly if anyone is going to be anywhere near your ass it's going to be me and secondly I know it's a big deal so I promise my undivided attention from now on.'

Lisbon put the sandwich down and wrapped her arms around his waist. 'Well, thank you but I don't want _all_ your attention to be focused merely on the case.'

Jane put his arms around her and kissed her deeply, moving his fingers through the tendrils of her damp hair, the scent of her shampoo intoxicating. She pulled away briefly, smiling, and bit her lip. Jane grinned. It didn't take an expert in human behaviour to see what was on her mind.

He said softly, beginning to unbutton her blouse slowly and never taking his eyes from hers, 'What about the case, don't you want to know my thoughts on it?'

She began to unbutton his shirt, kissing his chest as each patch of skin was revealed and replied, 'Tell me later.'

* * *

As they were in bed later Jane's arms were wrapped around her as she lay with her head on his chest. He sighed happily. 'You know I think this is the perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon.'

She smiled and looked up at him. 'I'm not used to this, you know, just doing nothing. I think I'm starting to rather like it.'

'I hope you're not referring to what just happened as nothing, Teresa. If you are then I fear I need to update my skills somewhat.'

Lisbon grinned. 'That's not what I mean. I mean it's kinda great, just relaxing with someone you love. I've never really done that before now.'

Jane looked at her sideways and replied, 'Not even with Pike? I thought you spent most nights with him? Surely there were times when you did this? Don't tell me he was some sort of a sexual dynamo that never let you have a minute's rest. I don't think my heart could take it.'

Lisbon giggled. 'I am not about to talk about my sex life with another man with you. Suffice to say that you know perfectly well I am _more_ than satisfied with you in that regard. What I think I'm trying to say is that I've never felt this type of intimacy before, I've never allowed anyone to get this close. Even if it does still frighten me a little bit some of the time.'

Jane smiled, holding her closer and kissing her forehead. When they had their first weekend away together a few months back he had brought an engagement ring with him. But he had known then that it was too soon for her and realised that he needed to prove himself to her further before taking that step so had never asked the question. But he could feel the change in her over the last few weeks and after what she had just uttered he knew she was finally ready. He imagined himself against a beautiful vista in Yosemite, gazing into her eyes and getting down on one knee. He felt a mixture of emotions at the thought of proposing to her - happiness certainly, but also apprehension and still a sense of unworthiness. He still didn't think he was good enough for her. Whilst he had made amazing progress over the last few months into trying to be a more decent person she still deserved a better man than him. Could he really become the man she deserved?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Nelson

'You really think it's the neighbour, John Nelson?' Lisbon asked as they ate dinner together that evening.

Jane nodded between mouthfuls. 'Mmm, I do. From what I read in Fischer's notes he seems like a likely candidate. He lost pretty much everything in his divorce and our victim Janet Wells was a close friend of his ex-wife. I think she may have been instrumental in making her come to that decision. Instead of taking his aggression out on his wife, he took it out on her instead. It's worth talking to him at least.'

'Okay, I hope you're right, we'll go talk to him first thing Monday.'

* * *

As they arrived at Nelson's house a For Sale sign greeted them. The garden looked like it had been previously cared for but now the grass was long and weeds jutted out amongst the flowers.

As Lisbon was about to knock on the door Jane's cell phone rang.

Lisbon rolled her eyes as Jane's words came out like smooth butter. 'Constance, how lovely to talk to you again, how was the visit from your grandson? Did you make him that cake? Really, I was? Well, I had the feeling he would prefer chocolate to vanilla.'

Lisbon looked over at him shaking her head and a smirk on her face. Jane winked at her as he continued. 'Well, that's wonderful, thank you so much. I really appreciate the effort. That gives me an excuse to come visit you again to say thank you, I'll bring you a box of the tea we talked about.'

Lisbon could hear the woman's giddy laugh on the other end of the phone as he hung up.

'What?' he said to her, grinning.

'I'm guessing we have the Jacuzzi?'

Jane nodded. 'And the best view on offer.'

'Should I be worried, you sure you don't want to bring Constance with you instead?'

Jane grinned. 'Well, for a lady in her sixties she is remarkably fit.'

Lisbon smiled, pushed her shoulders back and knocked on the door.

A man in his mid fifties opened the door. It looked like he hadn't washed or shaved for a few days.

Lisbon said, holding up her I.D., 'John Nelson? I'm Agent Lisbon with the FBI. This is my colleague Patrick Jane. We'd like to talk to you about Janet Wells.'

Nelson looked her up and down and replied, 'I already spoke to some people a week ago.'

'We just have a few more follow up questions, may we come in?'

He stood for a second looking at her. He then replied, 'If you like' before going into the kitchen.

Jane said, under his breath, 'Charmer, isn't he?'

Lisbon nodded as they entered the kitchen.

Nelson stood with his back to the kitchen counter as they entered the room. Jane began looking around the room casually as Lisbon began to speak. 'We just have a few more questions about the night Janet Wells was murdered.'

Instead of replying Nelson eyed Jane and said angrily, 'What the hell do you think you're doing? You think I don't have enough people already snooping through my stuff?'

Jane stopped, looked at him and replied, 'Oh, you mean because your house is about to be repossessed?' picking up a letter from a bank on the table.

Nelson answered 'Put that down.' He glowered at Jane. 'You feds think you can rifle through everything, don't you? Just take away a man's whole life.'

Jane replied evenly, a smile on his lips, 'Well, to be accurate I'm not a fed, more fed adjacent, really. And I would say you threw your own life away when you allowed your wife to run up those credit cards. What else did you expect marrying her in the first place? She's what, twenty years your junior, did you really think she loved you for your looks and not the money? After the cash was gone you knew she was thinking about leaving you. So you went to visit Janet knowing she was a friend of your wife and asked her to persuade her to stay with you. But instead she was the one who convinced her to leave. So, you finally decided to show her you weren't the pushover she took you for. Maybe you thought about killing her but you couldn't go through with it as you still love her. So you took Janet's life instead.' Jane finished, a smug look on his face, and put his hands in his pockets.

Nelson stood for a moment before replying, obvious the rage inside of him was growing. Suddenly he pulled a gun from the back of his jeans and pointed it at Jane.

Lisbon immediately drew hers at Nelson and said loudly, 'Nelson, put the gun down now' as Jane held his hands up.

Nelson still had the gun on Jane. 'What difference does it make? I'm done in any case, that bitch was the final straw, and she got what she deserved for meddling in my business. Just like him.'

Lisbon replied evenly, 'You don't want to do this, Mr Nelson, now let's just put our guns down and talk, okay? If you kill this man, you'll never see a day of freedom again. If it's just Janet maybe we can make a deal for manslaughter. You won't have to die in prison.'

Jane was amazed at just how calm Lisbon appeared throughout and thought for a moment that she was getting through to him.

Nelson glanced over at Lisbon for a second but then fury came over his expression again. 'You think I want to go to prison, even for one day? I'd be happier dying today knowing I'd at least have taken this arrogant prick with me.'

He continued to point the gun at Jane and then cocked the trigger as Jane closed his eyes.

Just then Jane felt himself being pushed out of the way as Lisbon fired at Nelson, a clean shot to the temple making him fall to the ground.

Jane gasped, getting up from the floor. 'Phew, that was close, nice shot Lisbon.'

He looked at Lisbon, who was still standing opposite Nelson. She looked over to him for a second before falling to her knees, blood pouring out of her left side.

Jane ran over to her. 'Lisbon' he uttered, placing his hand across her cheek as she gasped for breath.

* * *

'Lisbon...Teresa...stay with me, it's going to be okay' Jane says urgently into her eyes as he reaches for his cell phone to call an ambulance.

After making the call, he puts his hand back to her face. Lisbon nods faintly and says softly, 'I love you', her eyes beginning to close.

Shaking his head with tears streaming down his face he replies, 'No, don't say that, don't even think about saying goodbye to me.'

He speaks louder. 'Open your eyes, Teresa, open them now.'

Lisbon's eyes flutter open again as Jane nods. He moves his hands to her side, a memory of doing this to Sam Bosco coming back to him, putting pressure on the wound. Lisbon grimaces before him and he almost stops, unsure of how to help her.

Lisbon croaks 'Phone Cho, you'll need him.'

'Stop talking like that' he orders her but pulls out the phone again and dials the number with one bloody hand, the other still pushing on the wound. Cho, at least, would know how to treat the wound better than he.

For the next few minutes, Jane keeps talking to her to make sure she doesn't lose consciousness, her blood seeping through to his hands through a tea towel he has found to firmly press on the wound.

After that there are no words. Lisbon lies in a pool of blood as he kneels beside her. Both of them are staring at each other, wondering with each breath if this is the last time they would ever see each other's eyes again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – The Cross

Jane was suddenly aware of the medics entering the kitchen, his hands still pressed to her side as he quickly stuttered her name and told them what had happened to her.

'Sir, you need to move away, let us take care of her' he heard one of them say and he looked up at him, unwilling to move away, fearing she would fall apart once he removed his hands.

Then he heard Cho's voice behind him. 'Jane, let them do their job.' He felt the man's hands on his shoulders pulling him away. He looked up at him irritably as Cho said, 'They're here to help her, Jane, you have to let them.'

Jane nodded finally, moving away from her as the medics took over.

He watched silently as they worked on her wound, the stench of blood filling his nostrils and his eyes never apart from hers. Finally they put her on a gurney, wheeling her into the ambulance.

Cho said 'We'll go with her' to which Jane nodded blankly, the shock beginning to set in.

In the ambulance he watched her breathe through the mask they had put on her as his eyes glanced down to the gold cross around her neck. He let go of her hand to remove it, putting it in between their hands instead, remembering how she liked to hold it when she was afraid. She looked lovingly at him through scared and teary eyes until they closed a few moments later.

Suddenly the machine beside him started to flash and make a noise, causing the medics to rush over. Cho again pulled Jane out of the way, roughly this time, her cross still in his hand as they began to check her vitals and chattered to each other in low rushed tones. Jane was aware of Cho's grasp on him becoming tighter, perhaps out of Cho's own anxiety than as a way of keeping him still. Jane swallowed observing the scene. It almost felt like he was watching a film in slow motion as they pulled the paddles out to resuscitate her, an out of body experience that he felt apart from, the devastation of what was happening before him unable for his brain to fathom as real.

'She's back' he finally heard one of them say, pulling him back to reality as he heard Cho exhale loudly.

Once in the hospital they wheeled her immediately into surgery as Jane and Cho waited.

Jane slumped on the plastic chair in the waiting room, his legs unable to hold him any longer. His bloodstained hands were still grasped to the cross, his eyes transfixed on it.

'Thank you' he softly muttered to Cho beside him. 'She knew I needed you there to keep me in check', a small smile on his face.

Cho glanced over to him, a lump forming in his own throat and nodded, squeezing his shoulder as a reply.

They sat like this in silence for a while longer until Abbott walked in. It was obvious to Jane he had already heard what had happened and that Lisbon was in surgery by the expression on his face. Cho and he shot glances at each other as Jane's face turned back to the cross.

Abbott was about to say something before Jane spoke first, looking up at him. 'Don't Dennis. Don't say it.'

Abbott replied in as soft a tone as he could muster, 'Don't say what, Patrick?'

'Don't tell me to prepare myself' he said angrily. 'I know how bad it is, I know how much blood she lost. If you think preparing myself is going to help me deal with this any better then you really have no idea who I am.'

Abbott nodded, sighing. He turned his attention to Cho instead. 'How long do they expect her to be in surgery?'

Cho shrugged. 'A few more hours at least, the bullet's in a difficult position to retrieve.'

Suddenly Jane felt stifled and useless just sitting there and stood up quickly, steadying himself on the chair for a second to regain some control over his legs.

Abbott looked at him anxiously and asked, 'Where are you going?'

Jane replied, 'I need to take a walk, I won't be long. There's something I need to do' before walking out of the room.

* * *

As he reached the chapel in the hospital he couldn't help but smile a little. She would most probably laugh when he told her about this, he thought. He would cherish that smirk on her face and her raised eyebrows as he told her. Or, she would and he would, _if _he ever got the chance to tell her about this.

As he entered the quietness of the dim room he went over to the candles and looked at them curiously. It only then struck him then that he hadn't a clue how to do this. A priest appeared beside him making him jump and regarded him apprehensively.

'Are you hurt?' he asked Jane.

Jane looked at him, confused for a second before looking down at his bloodstained shirt and hands. 'No, it's not my blood' he replied softly.

The priest nodded. 'Then do you want to light a candle for someone?'

Jane nodded. 'Yes, I think so. I have no idea what the procedure is though. I've never done this before. I'm not a believer in this type of thing. No offence.' The last thing Lisbon would want would be for him to be rude to a priest.

The old priest looked at him again, a sympathetic soft smile on his lips. 'But she is, I take it?' he replied, looking down at the cross still in Jane's hand.

Jane glanced at it and nodded.

'Okay, just put a donation in the box there and light a candle from one of the others, that's all there is to it.'

Jane nodded and pulled himself together. 'How much?'

The priest shrugged. 'Whatever you like is fine.'

Jane pulled out his wallet and put whatever notes he had in the donation box and lit a candle, placing it in a holder with trembling hands.

'Is that it, then? What now?'

The priest nodded. 'Now, why don't you sit down for a moment and just have a think about her. If you were a believer then I would say pray for her but there's no point in that I presume.'

Jane glanced over at him and smiled thinly, taking a seat as the priest sat beside him.

'Will you say a prayer for her though?' Jane asked after a minute. 'She would like that.'

The priest nodded. 'I already have, just tell me her name so I can add it.'

Jane glanced over at the kind man beside him. 'Her name's Teresa.'

'Beautiful name. What's yours?'

Jane nodded, tears silently falling down his face and replied hoarsely, 'Patrick'.

Then the words came rambling out of him. 'She was shot today. It was my fault. I mean I didn't shoot her but I made a man angry and she got in the way. It should have been me instead.' He sneered as he sniffed and continued, 'It's the second time in my life I've done that. If I believed in any type of god I would say he has a warped sense of humour.'

The priest looked at him and asked 'And what would she say if you told her that?'

Jane sighed. 'She would tell me to stop being such a self-pitying jackass and to not give up on her just yet.' Jane glanced over at the look of mild surprise on the priest's face. 'Sorry about the jackass comment but you asked me what she would say.' He managed a faint smile at the end.

The priest smiled back. 'Well, it sounds like she has plenty of spirit so maybe you shouldn't throw in the towel just yet.'

Jane nodded, smiling a little. 'You know, you're missing out on a goldmine here, you should be charging for this type of therapy, never mind how much you could make knocking out those candles over there.'

The priest laughed and replied, 'Well I have to say I don't get many people like you in my chapel, Patrick. I have to say it's quite refreshing. A lot of the people that come here use it as a last ditch attempt at salvation. I don't get many people being so truthful.'

Jane couldn't suppress a chuckle. 'You know, that's the first time in my life I've ever been called honest.'

He got up from the seat and shook the man's hand. He said to him sincerely, 'Thank you, please remember her in your prayers.'

The priest nodded. 'Of course I will. And at the risk of saving you from the eternal damnation you seem to want to send yourself off to I'll say one for you also.'

Jane nodded and replied seriously, 'Thanks but I wouldn't waste one on me', heading back towards the waiting room.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all so much for those taking the time to read and review. A few emotional chapters ahead, I hope you stick with it!**

* * *

Chapter 5 – Awakening

Jane stopped at the bathroom before he went back to the waiting room. He looked at himself in the mirror and realised what a fright the old priest must have had. His hair was sticking out, his face grey and his eyes gaunt. His hands and bottom of his shirt were caked in blood. He ran some water into the sink and splashed his face, smoothing his hair down a little and washed his hands, the water turning a bright pink. He stared at his reflection again until he couldn't stand looking at the person gazing back at him any longer, the disgust with himself making him feel nauseous. He looked away and took the cross from his pocket, washing the blood from it and drying it carefully on a paper towel before putting it away again.

When he returned to the waiting room Fischer had arrived and he took in the pitying glances from her and Abbott, an urge within him wanting to punch them both in the face. He neither wanted or deserved anyone's pity and slumped back into the chair without a word.

Cho asked, 'You okay?'

Jane shrugged. 'I'm guessing no news is good news, right? I mean if she...if it was a lost cause they would have told us by now, right?'

'It's hard to tell, Jane. You never know what's going to happen in surgery.'

Jane nodded. At least Cho was acting normally.

Fischer went up to him and said, 'I'm so sorry Jane-'

Jane interrupted her brusquely. 'She's not dead yet, can you postpone the sympathy until then at least?'

'I'm sorry she was shot, that was all I was going to say.'

She added, 'Why don't I go to your place and pick you up a change of clothes? When she wakes up she won't want to see you looking like that. It'll give her the fright of her life.'

He looked up at her, a slight smile on his face. 'Sorry, Kim.' He handed her his key. 'Thanks that would be great.'

Time passed slowly. Every time a doctor came out of surgery Jane stood up to see if they were coming to see him. An hour passed and then another. Fischer returned with a change of clothes and an evidence bag for his. He had forgotten that Lisbon's shooting was also a criminal matter, albeit a straightforward one. After he got changed Abbott handed him a cup of tea from the cafeteria. It all seemed so normal after that somehow, the scent of the blood and evidence of what had happened all neatly wrapped up in plastic. In a way it reminded him of Charlotte's birth. Angela had complications that meant a caesarean section and in those days that meant the father wasn't present in the delivery room. He remembered waiting in a room such as this, full of nervousness and excitement. He held his head in his hands as a female doctor entered the room in scrubs, making him come back to the present once again. He jumped out of his seat and looked at her, trying to read her expression before she spoke.

'Mr Jane?' she asked and he nodded his head.

'We were able to successfully remove the bullet. There is a lot of tissue damage and we had to perform multiple transfusions but the outlook is promising. She'll be unconscious for a little while longer until the anaesthetic wears off but we'll be able to gauge her condition better when she wakes up in the morning. She was extremely lucky to have survived the surgery.'

She looked at him as he stared vacantly back, his eyes a little unnerving for her. She glanced over at Cho who was standing beside him for confirmation that everything she said was understood. Cho nodded and said to her, 'Can he see her?'

The doctor looked apprehensive as Jane croaked, 'Please doctor, just one minute. I promise.'

The surgeon nodded. 'Just one minute.'

As he entered the room he walked towards the bed. Machines were attached to her and bleeping occasionally, a single lamp lit beside her face. He noticed it was dark outside now. He didn't know if it was the lighting or the loss of blood but her pale skin now had a translucent glow to it, an almost ethereal quality. With a shaky hand he touched her cheek, its coldness making him start a little, memories flooding back to him of the night he found Angela. He steadied himself as he watched her chest rise and fall, reminding himself that she was alive. He took the cross from his pocket and gently put it back around her neck, being careful not to move any of the wires in the process. He placed his finger on it and said in a whisper 'I have no idea if you can hear me Teresa but I know you'll look for this as soon as you wake up. I understand why you wear it now, it even comforted me today a little. But of course I'll deny I said that in case you can hear me.' He smiled sadly and kissed her on the forehead and whispered, 'I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better' before walking out of the room.

* * *

Jane managed to make the others go home for the night as he lay across three plastic chairs, his eyes staring at the ceiling. Abbott and Fischer had tried to get him to go home for some rest too but Cho intervened, knowing it was a lost cause. He was glad of the quiet but couldn't get his mind to settle on one thought for a while. He loved her, adored her and she was going to live. The thought made his heart explode. This time, he told himself, she was going to live this time. He knew she would forgive him for his part in what had happened and simply put it down to being part of the job. Her forgiveness for him was the only true weakness he'd ever noticed in her, her one major fault that he had used against her many times. In fact she would probably be more worried about the effect on him of seeing her like that than for herself. She knew him too well, he realised, and would know right away how much he would blame himself. She would want to take that away from him, comfort him and love him. He told himself he couldn't succumb to that, not again. The doctor was right, she had been lucky. Her luck would run out if he stayed with her.

He decided he would make sure she was better, take care of her and cherish the next few weeks with her, the last weeks he would spend with her before leaving her for the last time. It was going to be hell telling her that he was leaving and she would resist and beg him to stay. Then her sadness and hurt would turn to anger. That would make it easier for her to let him go, he decided, and hoped she would stay angry for a long time. It would make it easier for her to move on if she truly despised him so would make sure she did before he left. It wouldn't take much for her to feel like that. She finally trusted him and had let him into her heart fully. He had made promises to her that he would never leave her again. She would be heartbroken, perhaps for a long time, but she was the strongest person he had ever known and at least she would be alive.

He wished he could curse himself for ever getting on that plane but the truth was that the last three months had been some of the happiest times of his life and he couldn't regret them. He counted himself lucky that he at least had those memories and that time with her.

Maybe he would go back to the island afterwards, he contemplated idly. He sighed and wondered if he really had the strength to truly let go of her for good.

* * *

Jane slept fitfully lying across the chairs. Nightmares plagued him of finding Lisbon gutted on a bed, a red smiley face on the wall beside her, then turning around to find Angela and Charlotte dead on opposite sides of the room. McAllister was in the middle of the room, a blood drenched knife in his hand talking to Jane's father. The two men looked down at him and laughed as he sat there helpless, unable to move or speak. The door to the room opened noisily and Jane jumped from the chairs, relieved to be awake. He had not had a nightmare in quite a while and trembled a little upon waking.

A nurse looked at him questioningly and he said, 'Are you looking for me?'

The nurse replied hesitantly, 'I don't think so, I was looking for someone called Jane. I was told to find her in here.'

'That's me. Is Teresa Lisbon okay?'

The nurse looked at him curiously again and he stuttered quickly, 'It's my surname. Now what's happened?'

The nurse nodded. 'Oh I see. Yes, she's coming around and she's calling out for you. The doctor said to fetch you as she was getting a little agitated.'

Jane nodded, smiled a little at the notion and followed the nurse.

* * *

When he entered the room he could tell she was still not fully conscious but opened her eyes as he approached. His heart burst when he saw those green pearls again as she gave him a faint smile. She was obviously on a lot of pain medication, a narcotic haze filling her face.

As he stood beside her he said lightly, 'And I thought I was the bad patient, what's this I hear about you giving the staff here a hard time and you not even fully awake yet?'

She smiled a little more and asked hoarsely, 'Are you okay?'

He stroked her cheek through teary eyes. 'Aren't I the one supposed to be asking you that? I'm fine Teresa, honest. I wasn't but I am now.'

She regarded him and he could tell that he would need to improve his delivery somewhat to make her believe that.

'The doctor said there won't be any lasting damage. I should be back on my feet in a few weeks.'

'That's good' he replied. 'Should I call your brothers and let them know what's happened?'

Lisbon shook her head and answered in a a little stronger tone, 'No, the last thing I need is the stress of that. I'll call them when I'm on the mend.'

He nodded and she added, getting a better look at him, 'You look like hell, you should go home and get some rest.'

He raised an eyebrow and joked, 'I look like hell? You want to get a mirror in here.'

She smiled again and raised her right fingers to her cross absentmindedly. 'Please go home and get some sleep. I'm going to be okay Patrick. Stop worrying, all right?'

Jane nodded. 'Okay, I'll go home for a few hours. I need to bring you a few things back anyway.' He kissed her lightly on the lips, their touch making his heart flutter and he could barely keep the tears at bay until he left the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Changes

When Lisbon was discharged about a week later Jane helped her to the bedroom where a new TV/DVD player stood facing the bed. A stack of DVDs sat beside it. Lisbon smiled as Jane tucked her under the covers and said, 'You always wanted a TV in here, guess you finally got your excuse to get one, huh?'

Jane smiled back. 'I'll bring you some soup. Abbott's wife made it, it's quite delicious.'

Lisbon nodded. 'Great, I would kill for a cup of coffee to go with it.'

Jane glowered before he replied. 'No caffeine for at least another week. Doctor's orders.'

'The doctor didn't say that!'

Jane shrugged. 'Okay then, my orders. You need rest, not a caffeine buzz. I'll bring you a cup of decaf if you like.'

Lisbon grimaced. 'What's the point in coffee without the caffeine? Fine, just bring me a glass of water instead.'

'It will be with you tout de suite, my sweet.'

Lisbon replied grumpily, 'You're going to really enjoy this aren't you, bossing me around and me too weak to fight back. Just wait until I'm better.'

Jane smiled, left the room and let out a huge sigh.

* * *

A couple of weeks later Lisbon was feeling much better physically. Her wound had healed quickly and the surgeon must have been amazing to have left such a tiny scar on her side. She looked at it in the mirror and nodded. Even the bruising was almost gone, a few spots of yellow just remaining. Jane had gone back to work a few days before but came home at lunchtime each day to make her a sandwich or drop off more of Abbott's wife's soup. This morning she felt stronger and decided to try a walk outside in the fresh air in the afternoon. As she was putting on a pair of comfy leggings and a t-shirt she heard the door opening.

'Hey' he shouted. 'I picked us up some meatball subs, are you awake?'

'Yeah, I'll be right down.'

He looked at her aghast as he took in the outfit and snapped 'What are you doing? There's no way you're ready to go running yet.'

Lisbon rolled her eyes and replied, 'Of course I'm not. I'm just going to take a walk after lunch. I'm sick of being cooped up here day and night.'

'Don't you want to get well again? You're doing too much far too soon.'

'Stop trying to cosset me, will you? I am much better. And I know my body. It's stronger again, I can feel it.' She came up to him and put her arms around his waist and added seductively, 'Who knows what else I might be ready for before long?'

He looked down at her, her purring voice stirring his ardour for a moment as he gazed into her eyes but then he pulled her arms away and turned back to the bag he had brought home with him, putting the subs on two plates and getting a couple of bottles of water from the fridge.

Lisbon sighed, exasperated. Jane had been so kind and had looked after her so well when she got home. He could not have been more attentive in making sure she was comfortable. But she could feel him withdrawing from her when she attempted to show any affection back. In the beginning it was understandable, she was hurt and any type of physical activity was out of the question. But she was much better now. He had taken to sleeping on the couch once she had fallen asleep. He had said it was because he was afraid of hurting her side if he rolled over during the night and for a while she believed that. But now she knew for sure he was distancing himself.

He said, sitting at the table with his back turned to her, 'Come on, eat this, it's getting cold.'

She stood there, the anger beginning to build inside of her and replied sharply, 'I'm not hungry. I'm going for a walk' marching out the door.

Jane stopped eating as he heard the door slam behind him.

He knew he had to tell her soon. She had detected he was acting differently. He had thought that by going back to work it would give her less time to analyse his behaviour but all it seemed to have done was to make her reflect on it more. He had hoped for another few weeks but knew she was right. She was recovering quickly. Soon she would be going back to work. The thought of it terrified him.

He looked around at the home they had built together over the past few months. He had even taken some photos of the two of them that sat on the mantelpiece, the first photos he had taken in years. He walked over and looked at them wistfully, his fingers tracing their carefree smiles. He couldn't prolong the agony any longer. He would tell her that evening that it was over between them.

* * *

Lisbon strode down the street, her pace increasing as the anger inside of her did. Then she stopped suddenly and turned back to the house.

Jane was standing at the fireplace when she came back, surprised she was only gone five minutes.

She slammed the door behind her again, leaving him in no doubt that her mood had not improved. He looked at her and exhaled, waiting for the onslaught she was about to unleash.

She thought for a few moments, pacing at the door, gathering her thoughts.

Jane was about to say something when she held a finger up to stop him. 'No, me first.'

Jane nodded. 'Okay.'

She came up to face him, looking deep into his eyes and her anger seemed to have suddenly been replaced by concern instead.

She said quietly, 'Jane, I know what happened to me scared the living daylights out of you. I know you'll blame yourself for it no matter how many times I tell you that it was his fault and not yours. I know that you're worried about me going back to work. But I also know that we love each other and that we can work through this together. We've been through so much and we've finally made it, we're finally happy. Now stop being such a jackass and just talk to me, stop pushing me away. You told me you would tell me the truth from now on a few months ago, so now let's have it.'

Jane looked down into her emerald eyes and sighed, his fingers tucking a tendril of hair from her face and caressed her cheek. She put her hand to his and kissed it gently. The touch of her kiss on his skin made him want nothing more than to take her into his arms and shower her with a million kisses back. Then he pulled his hand away and walked out the door.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, sorry I've upset a few people sending them down this path but hope you keep reading, there's a lot more of the story to come. Next chapter is another emotional one!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Confrontation

Lisbon lay in bed that night, pulling the covers around her tightly and looked at the phone on her bedside table. No calls. She didn't expect any if she was honest. He needed time, she told herself. He would come back. He always did.

The next day there was still no contact. Abbott called her as Jane had not shown up for work. He didn't sound angry, just concerned. At least that was something. But his patience would run out soon if Jane's behaviour continued.

By that evening she couldn't wait any longer and drove to his Airstream, relieved it was still parked and that a light was on inside.

A cool breeze ran through her, a few drops of rain beginning to descend as she knocked on the door loudly.

After a moment he answered. No surprise was on his face, obvious that he was expecting the visit.

He opened the door to let her inside without a word.

She looked him up and down. He hadn't shaved and it didn't even look like he had showered or slept since she last saw him. A bottle of scotch lay open on the table.

She said coldly, 'So, is this your new career path then, a drunk?' holding up the bottle.

He shrugged and replied, 'I've only had a couple' putting his hand through his hair and sat down at the table, putting the top back on the bottle and moving it away.

'You didn't show up for work today, you didn't answer Abbott's calls so he called me.'

He nodded and replied tersely, 'Is that why you've come then, to talk to me about work?'

She sat down opposite him, the table between them.

She sighed, taking off her coat and answered tiredly, 'You know very well why I've come.'

He gazed at her. 'Oh right. You still want the truth I guess. Okay, everything you said was correct. I was and am afraid. I do blame myself.'

He pulled his eyes away from her and looked around the room instead.

'The truth is I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you anymore. I'm bad for you Teresa, have been since the day I met you. I preyed on your weakness for me and then on your love for me. I've made you lie and ruined your career. I almost got you killed because of my arrogance. If we stay together I'll only do all of those things or worse again and again. I'm selfish so thought I could have you but don't and never will deserve you.'

He sighed, looked back at her and said, 'We gave it a shot, right? We had a few good months. I tried to be better, I really did. I sincerely hope you believe that. But I'm still broken, Teresa, deep down I'm still broken. I think I always have been, even long before Angela. She tried and you tried to turn me into a better man but I'm still the conman and coward I was growing up. I'm better off alone and you're better off without me.'

He laughed sadly and added, 'I couldn't even bring myself to break up with you properly yesterday, just ran away like I normally do knowing you would come to me instead. I even needed some dutch courage first so I could face you.'

She replied tetchily, 'So here we go again. You're not good enough for me and you're trying to save me from yourself. I told you long ago I didn't need saving. Not from anyone and especially not from you. I'm sick and tired of this self pitying crap, Jane.'

He answered coldly, 'You know where the door is Teresa.'

She saw through his attempts to anger her into leaving. 'So that's it, huh? We hit a rough patch and that's the end? After all this time? After all the promises you made me? I know you don't mean it. You know in your heart that we're better off together and not alone. I know you still love me.'

He replied irritably, 'Yes I do still love you but that doesn't change things Teresa. I've made up my mind.'

She stood up and knelt in front of him, taking his hands and moving him around from facing the table so he sat in front of her, making him look into her eyes. 'Don't you see? It changes everything, Patrick.'

He gazed into the deep pools facing him as she kissed his lips tenderly. Unable to fight the urge he kissed her back savouring the taste of her lips against his before kissing her again deeply as her lips parted, his tongue suddenly exploring her mouth hungrily as his hands moved to hold her face in them. He kissed her again, his hands moving to pull her up onto his lap so she straddled him, panting as she returned his kisses with equal fervour. She pulled at his shirt, dragging it off him as he kissed her neck and collarbone, his tongue moving towards her breasts. He unbuttoned a couple of buttons on her blouse with one hand, the other holding her steady in his lap. His tongue kissed the top of a breast above her bra, his mouth moving to the centre, his tongue licking her cleavage before moving to the other breast. Under his hot and passionate kisses on her skin she threw her head back and then pushed herself closer to him, one hand through his blond curls and the other scratching his back. He moved the hand around her waist under her blouse and felt the newly formed scar with his fingers. Suddenly he stopped, breathing hard, and pushed her off him, got up from the table and caught his breath.

He looked at her standing there dazed and confused and said, 'I'm sorry Teresa, I really am.'

Once he could speak more clearly he said curtly, 'I meant that I said. It's over between us. I think you should leave.'

Lisbon stared at him for a second as he stood there. She could tell by his face that he wasn't going to change his tune. Whatever doubts she had put in his mind he had banished to the back of it. She suddenly felt tired and weary and didn't have the energy to fight or discuss this with him any longer. There was no point in her being the only one willing to fight for them. He hated himself more than he loved her. It was that simple, she told herself. Somewhere in her mind she couldn't believe what she was doing but she nodded and replied softly, 'You're right.'

She buttoned her blouse and said shakily, 'I'm going to go see my brothers in Chicago for a couple of weeks, which should give you plenty of time for you to move your stuff out. I'll get a flight in the morning. I'll speak to Abbott to see if I can get a transfer arranged to another city.'

Jane looked intently at her, a look of mild shock on his face, and replied quietly, 'You shouldn't be the one who has to transfer, I already spoilt that for you once before.'

Lisbon shrugged, putting her jacket on. 'Abbott won't let you go, it's easier for me to leave.'

'I'll talk to him, sort something out.'

'Fine, whatever, I don't care either way.'

As she was about to walk out the door she turned around and said evenly, 'Jane, remember you did this, you allowed this to happen. You say this is what you want. I don't believe you but it's obvious your mind's made up for whatever stupid reasons you want to tell yourself.'

She looked at him icily and added, 'So let me be clear now, I don't want to see you ever again. No calls. No letters. You want me out of your life? Then at least have enough respect for me to stay out of it this time.'

She turned on her heels and walked into the rain, her tears joining the raindrops on her face as she got in her car.

Jane watched as she left before sitting back down at the table and stared into space.

**A/N: Okay, I await the backlash for splitting up our favourite couple in the reviews! If it helps any, of course this isn't the end for them.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. I know most of you want them to get back together quickly but it's going to take time. I want to explore their lives apart for a little while first. Hopefully you keep reading in any case.**

* * *

Chapter 8 - Goodbye & Hello

While Lisbon was in Chicago Jane moved his stuff from the house into the Airstream. There wasn't much to move apart from some clothes and books, they stuff they had bought for the house together he left behind. But he couldn't resist taking one of the photos on the mantelpiece with him. He packed up his belongings blocking out all thoughts of her and dialled Abbott's number.

* * *

When he walked into the office he was aware instantly that Lisbon had already briefed him on their current situation.

Abbott said wearily, 'Sit down Patrick. I guess we have a lot to talk about.'

Jane nodded, taking a seat opposite. 'You've obviously heard about Lisbon and I. This was my fault and my doing so she shouldn't have to pay for any of it but obviously we can't work together any longer. So either move me to another city or put me in prison. To be perfectly honest I don't give a damn which option you choose.'

Abbott's eyes widened as he listened as Jane's words came out emotionless and cold.

'You know if you came to me with that ultimatum a year ago I would have gladly locked you up.'

He added angrily, 'What are you playing at, Jane? It's obvious the two of you are meant to be together, why the hell are you wrecking this? Why are you hell bent on this path of self destruction?'

Jane interjected angrily, 'I'm not here to talk about any of that Dennis. It's none of your business quite frankly. My motives are none of your concern. What's your decision?'

'Well to be frank it is my business. If I decide to send you to another city then I need to know you'll be effective there. I can't very well recommend you if I believe you're about to crack up because of this.'

Jane answered calmly, 'It's still your decision nonetheless.'

Abbott thought for a second. 'You know you're the smartest person I've ever met Patrick. And the dumbest it seems when it comes to your own life.'

He sighed and added, 'There's a big case going on in L.A. at the moment, the team there are trying to get a mobster indicted but they've run into a brick wall. They've tried every scheme they can think of to get him but he seems to be way ahead of them at every turn so far. I think they could do with someone who can think outside the box to help. Someone who can be a little...creative shall we say. Are you interested?'

Jane shrugged. 'Beats prison I guess. I'm surprised you're letting me go so easily.'

'Well you were right, Lisbon is a fine agent and certainly less than a pain in the ass than you. Also, if it works out in L.A. I'll still get the credit for putting you there.'

'So when do I go?'

'I'll talk to the supervising agent today, so probably as soon as you'd like.'

'I'll drive the Airstream there later on today so I should be able to start in a couple of days.'

Abbott nodded. 'Just to be clear Jane, this is a temporary assignment. I am hoping some time away will let you reflect on how much of an idiot you're being.'

'I know I'm an idiot Dennis, I don't need time to reflect on it. If I were you I'd make the transfer permanent.'

'Fair enough. But I'm not going to give up on you regaining your senses just yet. So I'll make it a temporary transfer for six months.'

* * *

Jane went into the bullpen to pick up some books, catching Cho's eyes. Cho marched over and said to him bluntly, 'You and me, outside, now', storming off to the elevator. Jane exhaled loudly, surmising that Kimball Cho may make sure he never made it to L.A. at all.

He was waiting for him in the parking garage. Jane walked up to him and said, 'So, I guess this is where I get the pasting of my life.'

'I told you what would happen if you broke her heart.'

Jane nodded, recalling a threat to break Jane's kneecaps Cho made to him shortly after he and Lisbon got together. 'You have every right.'

'Why Jane? She gave up everything for you for years and this is how you treat her. You know I used to admire you but you're nothing but a self-pitying fool.'

'Kimball, to be honest I'd just rather you got on with the whacking.'

'She made me promise not to touch you. That's the kind of woman you've abandoned. Again. Remember that.'

Cho marched back to the elevator, his words hurting Jane more than any of the punches he could have landed.

* * *

When Lisbon returned from Chicago a week or so later she was cleared to go back to work. She knew Jane had left and had wept when she found the empty closet and his key on the kitchen counter.

When she returned to work she heard that he was working in L.A. She was relieved he hadn't gone to prison, and then cursed herself for still caring so much. So she did what she always did and blotted out her emotions and threw herself back into her work, only allowing herself to think of him fleetingly when she glanced at the empty brown leather couch behind her.

* * *

The FBI team in L.A. was headed up by a man called Ken Miller. He was in his late fifties and reminded Jane of Hannigan, the man who transferred out of Lisbon's CBI unit because he wouldn't work with him. Not a good start, Jane told himself. The rest of the team seemed to be by the book agents and seemed to resent him joining the team, taking his presence as an affront to their own skills as FBI agents. He knew from the start that he wouldn't fit in. Or, more correctly, he knew he didn't want to fit in.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Phone calls and Coffee

There was some type of legal problem in the mobster case that meant it was off limits for the time being so Jane began working some less high profile cases instead. He didn't care what he worked on. He helped enough for him not to get into any serious trouble but didn't come up with any elaborate schemes, mainly relying on his body language skills instead. He hadn't even requested a couch, working most of the time from his Airstream instead, preferring the quiet. He could tell the others were somewhat unimpressed and he didn't blame them. He had come to them being hailed as some type of super agent but what they got instead was a grumpy consultant who spoke to them like they were idiots.

It had been one month since the last time he had seen her and every day he missed her more and more. He sighed as he lay on his motel room bed that night and made a phone call.

* * *

It was 10pm and Lisbon was draped over her desk completing the latest case report. She believed she was the only one left in the office as usual. It was times like these that her thoughts drifted to him, reminding her of the many nights spent at CBI where only the two of them were left in the office. She sighed as her eyes welled up before she lifted her shoulders, pushing the memories away.

Suddenly a bag of Thai food was deposited on her desk, making her jolt.

'Jesus Cho, I thought you'd left for the night, you scared the hell out of me!'

'You need to eat something. You've been working like this for the past three weeks. It isn't healthy.'

'Didn't think anyone would mind. I'm getting cases closed aren't I? Our closure rate has hardly decreased since...well you know.'

'I'm not worried about the closure rate. I'm worried about you.'

Lisbon's eyes misted over. 'I'm okay Kimball, honestly. If it makes you happy I'll eat something, all right?' she replied as she took a container from the bag.

Cho still stood at her desk. 'You should call him.'

Lisbon raised her eyes back to him. 'Look thanks for the food and your concern but I'm not going to do that. He made his decision and he's going to have to live with it. Besides, he knows where I am if he wants to talk.'

'He's hardly going to call you is he? After the last thing you said to him?'

Lisbon looked at him questioningly. 'How do you know what the last thing I said to him was?'

Cho shifted uncomfortably as Lisbon pressed on. 'You've been talking to him?'

Cho nodded. 'Yes. He calls me once a week to check on you. Sometimes more depending on how much he's had to drink.'

Lisbon's eyes widened. 'What did you say? Since when are you on his side? And what do you tell him?'

'It's not about sides. He didn't want me to tell you that he called but I told him I would if you ever asked me directly. I tell him you're working too hard and not eating. It's the truth.'

Lisbon sighed. 'Well, from now on tell him it's none of his business. And tell him to lay off the drink.'

'No. Call him yourself and tell him that' Cho replied, marching over to the elevator.

* * *

The next morning Lisbon visited her normal coffee shop on her way to work. Her mind was filled with Cho's words from the night before and she had hardly slept. Trust Jane to have found a loophole in her words to him. She sighed wearily as she picked up her order and went to sit down at a table outside, needing a few moments to think before she went into work. A man approached holding a coffee cup out to her and said, 'Sorry, I think you have my order? Teresa, is it?'

She looked up at him confused for a second and looked down at her cup and noticed the name 'Tim' on the side.

'Oh I'm so sorry. I must have picked up the wrong one. I haven't touched it' she replied, handing over the cup to him.

He handed her his cup in return and said smiling, 'Well Teresa, nice to meet you at last. Do you mind if I sit down?'

He sat down without a response as she looked at him curiously. 'I'm sorry, what do you mean, at last?'

'You come here most days, right? I've noticed you. And by the look of the triple shot you needed this morning and the worried expression on your face I would say you haven't slept much and have something on your mind. So I thought I'd say hello and maybe make you smile.'

Lisbon regarded him and couldn't help smile back. He looked nothing like Jane. He was attractive and around the same age but had dark brown hair and steely blue eyes. But his behaviour just then reminded her of him and for the first time in weeks made her think fondly of him.

Tim smiled back. 'Well, I'm glad I came over, it was worth it.'

Lisbon was suddenly uncomfortable at this man getting the wrong impression. 'Look, I'm sure you're a perfectly lovely man but the last thing I'm looking for is a relationship or any sort of a dalliance. You're wasting your time.'

'Dalliance? That's an old fashioned word but I think I like it, I may use it myself. So, your expression comes from a man breaking your heart. What sort of a jerk would leave someone as beautiful as you?'

Lisbon rolled her eyes. 'You're laying it on a bit thick, aren't you? You're certainly not shy that's for sure but I'm really not interested.'

Tim nodded. 'I know. You already said that. Understood. How about as a friend then?'

'I don't need a friend and frankly I don't think you want me as one either.'

'Have you ever been told you're a cynical person, Teresa?'

Lisbon nodded. 'All the time.'

'Look you're right. I think you're attractive but I can see there's no hope for me. You're still in love with this jerk, that's pretty obvious. But I like you and I've just moved here. You're the first interesting person I've met so would like to get to know you better.'

Lisbon looked at him, reading his expression and decided he was telling the truth. She answered, 'Just as a friend?'

'Just as a friend.'

Lisbon said wearily, 'What the hell, after the last few weeks I haven't much to lose.'

Tim smiled and replied, 'That's what I like to hear, unbridled enthusiasm.'


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - Deception

_**Two Weeks Later**_

'Okay, I'll meet you in Riley's at 8.00. See you later, Tim.' Lisbon hung up the phone and smiled.

Cho was standing at her desk as she looked up and said to him, 'Hey, what's up?'

He replied after a moment, 'The Cranmore suspect is ready to talk.'

'Great, let's go.'

* * *

'You think I didn't see through your little deception there?' Tim asked in the bar later.

Lisbon raised her eyes and replied, 'What deception? I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Getting Kim to come here to drop off paperwork. Like it couldn't wait until the morning. You're trying to set us up.'

Lisbon smiled and replied, 'So what if I was. You obviously like her, I could tell. And I'm pretty sure the feeling's mutual.'

Tim grinned, taking a sip of his beer. 'And how would you know that? We barely said two words to each other.'

'Pupil dilation. People's pupils dilate when they see something they want.'

'Oh I see. I'm guessing this is another one of the tricks the jerk taught you.'

'You know his name now, you don't have to keep on calling him 'the jerk'. And stop changing the subject. Are you going to call her?'

Tim grinned. 'Well, I'd be a fool not to, wouldn't I? She seems pretty feisty not to mention hot as hell.'

'Good. I think you'd be good together. Just because my love life is a disaster it doesn't mean other people shouldn't give it a shot.' Lisbon took a sip of her wine, feeling sad suddenly.

Tim moved closer and said, 'Why don't you just call him Teresa. It's obvious you want to despite how badly he's treated you.'

Lisbon shook her head and pushed her shoulders back, taking another sip.

* * *

Jane lifted the money from the pool table before the last ball fell into the pocket.

'You're a lucky bastard, you know that, Patrick?' Miller said, taking a sip of his scotch.

Jane grinned, taking a slug of his own. 'I've told you before Hannigan, it's not luck. It's called skill.'

'You know my name's Miller, why do you insist on calling me that when you've had a few too many.'

Jane chuckled, almost falling into the stool at the bar and waving a note at the bartender. 'Private joke.'

Miller sat beside him and eyed him suspiciously. 'Good work today. You know I wasn't sure about you but you get results, even if you are hungover most of the time.'

Jane shrugged. 'Imagine me without a hangover. Then you would be amazed.'

'That's what I wanted to talk to you about. The mobster case has come back up. We've been approved to mount an operation to finally get him. Patrick, I know you've had your troubles since coming here but this is a big deal. We need to nail this bastard once and for all. I need you to lay off the sauce and get involved fully with the rest of the team. Look I know you came here because of personal reasons. I'm guessing it had something to do with a woman. Jesus, I have three ex wives, I know the feeling. I know how they can rip your heart out. No matter how great she was in the sack, it's time you moved on.'

Jane stared at him coldly, rage building up inside of him. 'Miller, I'd stop now before you say something I'll make you regret.'

Jane turned back to the bar, taking a sip of his new drink and added, 'Fine. I'll get involved more. Now leave me the hell alone.'

* * *

After Miller left, Jane sat there staring into his drink until he felt a light hand on his wrist. When he looked up a pretty blonde woman smiled at him. He noticed she was wearing too much make up and too much perfume.

'Do you mind if I sit here?' she asked, pouting.

Jane shrugged. It hadn't been the first time he had been approached in a bar. He couldn't understand the appeal in his current state.

'I'm Betsy, nice to meet you. I saw you at the pool table, you're really good' she said smiling, holding out her hand.

Jane nodded and replied wearily, 'Hi Betsy, nice to meet you.' He shook her hand, feeling the rapid pulse in her wrist as he did so.

He rolled his eyes. This was all he needed. He put some money on the bar and lifted his jacket to go.

She touched his arm and said, 'You're not leaving, are you? I don't even know your name.'

Jane moved her hand away. 'Believe me, Betsy, you're better off.'

* * *

As he walked into the air outside the bar he exhaled, trying to sober himself up. He leaned against the wall of the bar and dialled Cho's number. After a few rings he picked up, sounding annoyed.

'Jane, what the hell are you ringing me for at this time, it's gone 2am? I'm assuming you're drunk again so have forgotten about the time difference.'

Jane looked down at his watch. 'Sorry, Cho, I did. But you're awake now anyway so let's talk.'

He tried to sound happier and said, 'So, how are things?'

'By things you mean Lisbon.'

Jane sighed on the other end. 'Look I'm sorry for waking you, Kimball. I just needed to hear about her, okay?' He knew he sounded like a complete wimp.

'She knows you call me.'

Jane lifted his head and replied, 'You told her? What did she say? Was she mad?'

'What do you think?'

Jane smiled, imagining the exasperated tone in her voice and her green eyes blazing.

Cho added, 'I told her to call you but I'm guessing she didn't. Jane, you need to stop torturing yourself calling me. You need to move on too.'

Jane sighed then realised what Cho had just said, sobering him up fully. 'What do you mean by 'too'? Are you telling me she's met someone else, already?'

Cho replied, 'Yes. At least I think so. I heard her arranging a date with him earlier. She seemed happy.'

Jane's heart raced. She couldn't have met someone else so quickly. She was obviously throwing herself into another relationship to get over him. The thought of her in bed with someone else made him feel sick but he couldn't get the image out of his mind.

'Jane, are you still there?'

Jane answered angrily, 'Yes. I have to go Cho. Thanks for the info. I won't bother you again.'

* * *

Jane walked back into the bar and saw that Betsy was still there. She was talking to another man beside her but could tell she wasn't that interested.

He walked over to her. 'You want to get out of here?'

The other man interrupted. 'Hey, buddy, do you mind? We were talking.'

Jane ignored the man and kept his eyes on Betsy. 'My place isn't far.'

Betsy looked up at him and replied, 'Well, you've certainly got over your shyness. I still don't know your name. You think I'm the type of girl to just go home with someone I've just met?'

Jane looked her up and down. She was wearing a tight red dress and high heels, the top of a lacy black bra visible.

'Frankly, yes, I think you are. Why else would you come into a bar all alone at this time of night dressed like that? You haven't asked me for money so I assume you're not a hooker. But you're obviously in the mood for sex without any complications. I'm suddenly feeling in the same mood. But if it makes you more amenable then my name's Patrick.'

Betsy stared at him, unsure of how to respond. After a moment she smiled and got off the stool, leaving the other man gobsmacked. Jane smiled back and steered her out of the bar.

* * *

It turned out Betsy's place was even closer so they went there instead. When they walked in he grabbed her immediately and pinned her against the door without uttering a word. His tongue entered her mouth forcefully and she began to pant, clutching on to him and moving her body closer into him.

He released her and pushed her onto the bed instead, taking off his jacket quickly.

'Wow, you're certainly not bashful now, that's for sure, Patrick' she laughed.

He climbed onto the bed and began kissing her neck hungrily, his hand squeezing her breasts tightly. He kept his eyes closed, trying every trick he could muster to make him believe it was Lisbon. As she moved her fingers to his hair he moaned as he thought of how she had loved to do that and how sensual an experience he had found it too as her tiny hands gripped tightly on his curls as she was on the brink of ecstasy. Suddenly the smell of cheap perfume overwhelmed his senses and he recalled where he was and what he was about to do. He got off the bed quickly, coming to his senses finally. Even if Lisbon had bedded this new man he was not about to make the same mistake. He was a lot of things but not that.

'What's the matter, Patrick? What did I do?'

'You didn't do anything Betsy. I...I'm just not the type of person who does this. I thought I could be but it turns out I'm not.'

Betsy moved forward in the bed and sat on the end.

Jane put his jacket on. 'You know you should be more careful who you bring home. If you keep doing this you're going to end up getting hurt one day, or worse. Just because you have father issues you shouldn't undervalue your own self worth. Sleeping with random men will only make you feel worse in the long term.'

As he reached the street he knew what he had to do. Whether she liked it or not he had to see Lisbon, at least once more. He just had to figure a way to get out of L.A. in order to do that.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you to all of those who have taken the time to review and follow my story. I wasn't sure I would have many readers left taking them down this path so am overwhelmed by your responses and advice. Your words are spurring me on to continue. **

**No Lisbon in this chapter but she'll be back in the next one. Just a little lightness to balance out the drama a little and a bit of the old Jane first.**

* * *

Chapter 11 – The Game

Jane sat at the conference table half listening to Miller's briefing. It had been two days since Cho had told him about Lisbon's new man. He had stopped drinking and had begun to formulate a plan.

'Patrick, what do you think? Come on genius, this was why you were brought here. How are we going to nail him?' Miller asked.

Jane replied, 'Let's keep it simple to begin with. This mobster Eddie Mancini likes to play poker, correct? So I'll win a few games against him so I can get a closer look, see where his weaknesses really lie. That's the first step. Once we know what they are then we can move on to exploiting them.'

'Oh, right. Just like that, eh? Patrick, just because you can beat me at a few games of pool you think you can take him on in poker? He's one of the best players around, for chrissakes. He has trouble rounding up people for a game as everyone knows they'll lose their shirt.'

'Well, no offence Miller but thrashing you at pool when I'm blind drunk doesn't really compare to the skills I'll use taking on a professional card player. And if he's having trouble finding suckers to beat then it should be easy to get into a game with him.'

Miller noted the smirks on some of the other agents' faces and said, 'I still need to know you can beat him. This is the FBI's money you'll be playing with.'

Jane rolled his eyes and replied, 'Well, if you don't trust me then fine. Figure out another solution yourself.'

Miller regarded him closely. 'You really think you can beat him?'

'I know I can beat him.'

* * *

The poker game was arranged for a week later. Jane had spent most of the week in the casino Mancini frequented, making sure he won enough to be noticed by the high rollers but then losing it just as quickly, making him an easy mark. Word had obviously got out when he was visited by two of Mancini's heavies as he was leaving the casino one night who asked him if he wanted to participate in a private game.

Miller paced the hotel room the team had set up in. After seeing Jane in action all week he was a little more confident but was still nervous about the operation.

'Okay, Patrick, this is it. We have the room on surveillance but if you get yourself into any trouble then it's going to take us a few minutes to get there. So, for god's sake, be careful and don't let your mouth run away with you. Just find out what you need to know and get out of there.'

'Ken, I'm touched that you care so much about my wellbeing.'

'Well, it's my ass if you get yourself killed. Plus it's still the FBI's money you're playing with. We need most, if not all, of it back. Understood?'

Jane grinned back. 'Understood.'

* * *

After an hour playing Jane knew enough about Mancini's tells so that he recognised when he was bluffing and when he had an extraordinary hand. He was good, Jane thought, but he was better. Mancini began to relax and seemed to enjoy Jane's company as Jane allowed him to win a few of the bigger pots by showing him false tells, letting him feel that he was in control of the game. By the time it came to two hours, all but Jane and Mancini were left at the table.

'So Patrick, how come I never heard of you before? I know most of the best poker players around here. You're pretty good. Why have our paths only crossed now?'

Jane's cover story was that he was a fugitive on the run for five years but that he had outfoxed the authorities into dropping the charges, letting him come back to the States. As Jane said to Miller when he came up with the cover, keeping elements of the truth in the story made it easier to play than mere fiction.

Jane smiled and said, 'Come on Eddie. You're not stupid enough to get into a game with someone you haven't looked into. You know very well why I've only just come back to the U.S.'

Mancini laughed. 'Fair enough. What was it again, you robbed a museum? How did you get away with it?'

Jane chuckled, looking at his cards. 'The paintings I was supposed to have taken or getting the charges dropped?'

'Well, a man in my position is always looking for ways to stick it to the Feds.'

Jane nodded. 'So I hear. I thought they were about to indict you any day now.'

'It seems I'm not the only one who has done some research.'

'Well, I'm hardly going to walk into a room unarmed without investigating the man who asked me to join his game. For all I know the Feds could have set this up to get me to admit to something.'

Miller watched the conversation from a monitor and took a blood pressure pill. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

Mancini nodded. 'Well be careful. They haven't got me yet but they're putting a squeeze on my finances. I can't get access to some of my funds. It's a damn shame but what can you do.'

'Well, if you need some extra money you could assist me in my next enterprise.'

Miller's eyes widened. Jane had not only gone off script, he had begun to write a new one.

Mancini replied, 'Really? I didn't think we were in the same business, Patrick.'

'Well, it all comes down to money in the end, right? I need some extra help with my next project. Most of my old crew have gone on to pastures new so I need some people to help me with...security matters. After meeting you tonight I think we could be a good partnership.'

Mancini eyed him suspiciously and replied, 'And how do I know you're not setting me up?'

Jane shrugged. 'You're a good judge of character. Hell, you've been one step ahead of me all night. If I can't beat you at poker then what chance do I have at bluffing or outsmarting you outside of that?'

Jane smiled, knowing the man's ego was big enough for him to believe that was true.

'Okay then, Patrick. Here's the deal. One more hand. All in. If I beat you fair and square then we talk further. If you beat me then we shake hands and walk away. If you are working for the Feds you're not about to lose their money.'

'So basically if I want your help I walk away tonight with nothing.'

'Call it a deposit.'

Jane grinned. 'Deal.'

Miller and the team sat with their eyes on the monitor, speechless at what they just heard.

One of them said, 'How much did he take into the game with him?'

Miller was ashen and croaked, 'Two hundred thousand dollars.'

* * *

Jane walked out of the room and smiled. He hadn't felt this kind of a sense of accomplishment in a while. He had hardly got back to the hotel room when Miller began screaming at him at the top of his voice.

'What the hell are you playing at? You just lost the FBI two hundred thousand dollars! And what have you got to show for it? Nothing! He told you nothing about his business or where he keeps his money. This is it, Patrick, I'm finished and you're going to jail.'

Miller slumped onto the couch in the room.

Jane bit his lip and almost felt sorry for the man. 'What do you mean Ken? I thought it went great personally.'

Miller looked up at him, his mouth open.

'Don't you see I had to lose the money tonight? How else was he going to trust me? That's his weakness, his greed for the almighty dollar. He's worth what, a couple of million at least, right?'

One of the agents chipped in, 'We reckon he has five stashed away at least.'

Jane replied, 'Even better. Two hundred thousand is nothing in the grand scheme of things. And Ken, you have to take it easy, you keep exploding like that and you'll have a heart attack. Look, if it doesn't work out I'll simply win you your money back. I can't say fairer than that.'

Miller stared at him and shook his head, bringing his breathing down to a manageable level. He said evenly, 'And what, pray tell, is this next project you were telling him about?'

'I'm glad you asked. That's phase two. I'm going to get him to help me steal a book.'

'A book? And where will this crime of the century take place?'

Jane smiled and replied, 'Austin.'


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – Back to Austin

As Lisbon stepped out of the elevator Abbot called to her, 'Lisbon, in my office, now please.'

She walked in and took a seat. Abbott leaned back in the chair and tapped his fingers to his lips.

'Yes, boss?'

'Have you been touch with Jane lately?'

Lisbon widened her eyes. 'Jane? No. Why? What's happened? What's he done now?'

Abbott sighed. 'Oh, just the usual I expect. He's worked out another harebrained scheme to take down a mobster in L.A.'

'No offence, boss, but what's that got to do with us? Or me, specifically?'

'Well, the next part of his plan involves working with this office. Have you heard about the new short story by O. Henry that's just been discovered?'

Lisbon narrowed her eyes and said, 'Yes, I think so. It was in the papers a few weeks ago.'

Abbott nodded. 'Well it's going to be on display to the public here in Austin in a few days time. Jane's plan involves pretending to steal it with the help of this mobster. Then we come in and arrest him and/or his associates. Hopefully one of them will snitch on him so we can locate millions of dollars we know he has stashed away and take down his empire for good.'

Lisbon laughed bitterly. 'This was his plan, huh? Sounds like it, all right. Like he couldn't have picked a different object to steal in another city.'

Abbott shrugged. 'Teresa, I'm trying my best not to get in the way of your personal life. I like you and respect you. You're a hell of an agent in your own right without Jane. I admit I haven't always thought that but you've proved it since coming here. And, to be honest, you've flourished without him too, work wise that is. And I dare say if you never saw him again you would thrive even more. But work isn't everything, Teresa, everyone needs more than that. Maybe this is a chance for you two to sit down and thrash out exactly what happened between the two of you.'

Lisbon's eyes welled up and she looked away for a second. 'Are you telling me I have to work with him when he comes back?'

Abbott shook his head. 'Of course I'm not. This operation is a major one for us. The last thing I need to get in the way of it is some type of lovers' tiff. If you feel you can work with him without any drama then by all means you're more than welcome to join the operation, we'd be glad to have you. However, if you feel you can't be effective then I'd like to know so I can make other arrangements.'

Lisbon thought for a second. 'I think you should make other arrangements.'

'Are you sure, Teresa?'

'Yes, positive. In fact, if there are any other cases I can work on that gets me away from Austin while he's here then I'd appreciate if you would consider me as first choice.'

* * *

Jane and Miller approached the FBI Building in Texas a few days later. Jane sighed and pushed his shoulders back.

'Not nervous are you? It was your idea to come up with this scheme', Miller stated.

Jane shrugged, heading into the elevator.

'Oh, I get it now, the girl works here. Can't wait to get a look at the piece of ass that has the great Patrick Jane shaking in his boots. She must be something.'

Jane exhaled as they left the elevator.

Abbott came out to meet them, shaking hands with Miller first.

'Good to see you Ken, welcome to my neck of the woods.'

From the hallway Jane glanced over to see that Lisbon wasn't at her desk, his heart beginning to race. It looked too tidy for her to just have gone to the break room and there wasn't even a mug of coffee on it.

'Good to see you too, Jane. Shall we get started in my office?' Abbott asked both of them.

They walked into the office where they discussed the logistics of the plan.

Afterwards Miller said, 'Sounds like you have everything covered, Dennis. But I'm happier this part of _his_ plan is on your turf and not mine, though.'

'Well, Ken, Jane and I have an understanding with each other. He knows I'll rain bloody hell on him if he cocks this up.'

Miller laughed as Jane piped up, 'I'm glad you two are bonding over your mutual distrust in me. If we're done here I'm going to get myself some tea.'

He got up and went back to the bullpen. He couldn't see Fischer or Cho so walked over to Wylie.

'Hey Jason, how's it going?'

'Mr Jane! How are you? I heard you were coming back today. It's been pretty boring without you. Can't wait for this next mission. I have all the surveillance-'

'I'm sure you have everything under control, Jason. Where's Lisbon?'

Wylie turned red and replied quietly, 'You don't know? She's in Boston, she and Cho are working a case there.'

Jane exhaled. 'How long will she be there?'

'I'm...I'm not sure. Depends I guess, you know how these things work. Why don't you just call her?'

Jane nodded and rolled his eyes, heading to the break room where he found Fischer getting a cup of coffee.

'Hey, I heard you were back today. How's L.A.?' she asked, glancing up from pouring her coffee momentarily.

Jane walked over to get his tea and shrugged. 'It's big, noisy and smoggy. How are you?'

'Great, thanks.' She stood watching him, taking a sip of her coffee.

'I'm guessing you've heard Lisbon's in Boston. And I would say based on your surly expression that wasn't part of your plan coming back here.'

Jane smiled thinly, dipping the teabag in the water. 'She knew I was coming back so went running for the hills instead of having to face me, huh?'

'Well, you're hardly one to talk about people running for the hills, are you?' Kim replied, walking out of the room.

* * *

The next few days were spent ironing out the arrangements to apprehend Mancini and his operatives and the plan was all set for the following evening. Jane had met with him to make final preparations and was confident the fake heist would go over without any complications.

He lay on his couch the evening before staring at the empty desk in front of him.

Wylie sidled over and stood in front of him. Jane smiled and said 'What's up Wylie?'

Wylie looked from side to side even though they were alone in the office and whispered, 'I've just heard, Agent Lisbon's back tonight. She and Cho finished up earlier and are in the air now, they should be landing any minute.' He paused then added, 'I don't think Abbott wanted you to know until after tomorrow but...'

Jane interjected softly, 'Thanks for letting me know, Jason.'

Wylie went back to his desk and Jane lay on the couch for another minute before getting up and walking to the elevator. Wylie watched him leave and grinned.

* * *

Lisbon got out of the taxi and made her way inside the house. Jane watched, parking a safe enough distance away so that she wouldn't see him. She looked thinner and tired and his eyes welled up at the sight of her. He saw the light go on inside and watched as she drew the curtains. She had told him to stay away but here he was anyway, the proverbial bad penny. She knew he was in Austin so at least seeing him wouldn't be a complete shock for her. She would be mad and part of him was secretly looking forward to seeing that spark in her eyes when she was yelling at him. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say to her for certain. In L.A. all he knew was that he had to see her again. He had rehearsed a few things in his head but decided to be as truthful as he could instead. It had worked on her in the past.

As he was about to get out of his car he saw another one pull up to her house. A man with brown hair carrying some type of object in his hands got out. She pulled a curtain back and opened the door, grinning at him happily and taking whatever it was from him, motioning for him to come inside. This was obviously her new man. She must have called him to tell him she was coming home and obviously they couldn't wait to get into each other's pants until the next day. A mixture of sadness, jealousy and rage overcame him. He had hoped to at least be able to speak to Lisbon alone and not have to confront this opportunistic bastard at the same time.

* * *

'Thanks for the pot, Teresa,' Tim said, walking in the door.

'No problem. Jane's thing was cooking, not mine. No point it sitting in the cupboard. So how was it? Did the candlelit meal romance her off her feet?'

Tim grinned. 'You really want me to describe my night of passion with your friend and colleague?'

'You're right. I don't think I could look either of you in the face again if you did that. There was no hurry though to bring it back. But I'm guessing you didn't just come round because of the pot. Kim sent you here to keep watch on me should a certain person decide to show up unexpectedly.'

'Busted, I guess. So, no sign so far?'

'No, not yet. I hear he's up to his eyes with this operation anyway so I'm not expecting to see him until after it's over.'

'You're not looking forward to it, just a little bit?' Tim replied with a smirk on his face.

Lisbon sighed. 'Hardly, but I know he won't just leave and go back to L.A. before seeing me. When I heard he was coming I thought I could avoid him but there's no point. I know him better than that.'

'You know what you're going to say to him?'

'Unfortunately, yes, I do.'

* * *

**A/N: Just in case there are O. Henry aficiondos out there I am not American nor do I know much about American literature. The most I know was that he wrote witty short stories and lived in Austin for a long time (I believe his house there is a museum of sorts) so thought the discovery of a new short story by him would be a plausible explanation for getting Jane back to Austin.**

**Next one is gonna be emotional as Jane and Lisbon meet again.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hope you have your tissues at the ready!**

* * *

Chapter 13 - Reunion

'Well, if you're sure you're okay I better go' Tim said, putting his coffee cup down.

'Anther hot date with Fischer?' Lisbon teased.

'Who knows? I may pay her a visit just to tell her you're okay.'

'You're one of life's great humanitarians, aren't you?'

They were both laughing as they reached the door. Lisbon opened it to find Jane standing there about to knock on it.

Tim jumped back. 'Jeez, you scared the hell out of me!'

Jane's eyes focused on Lisbon as she took him in, neither of them uttering a word.

Tim looked at Lisbon and then Jane. 'Oh, Christ, it's him, the jerk', he said to nobody in particular.

Jane glanced away from Lisbon to stare at him now, his eyes regarding him coldly. 'What did you just call me?'

Lisbon interjected, 'What the hell are you doing here, Jane? Have you forgotten our last conversation?'

Jane replied, looking back at her again, 'I wanted to talk to you Teresa but I'm not about to have this conversation with a stranger standing beside us.'

'I'm her friend, not a stranger.'

'Oh, is that what they call it nowadays? I bet you are. Bet you couldn't wait to be her friend.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

Lisbon sighed and said, 'Tim, maybe you should leave, I'll be okay.'

Jane answered, 'Yes, Tim, maybe you should.'

'Keep out of it, Jane!'

Tim looked at Lisbon. 'Call me if you need to talk after, okay?'

Lisbon nodded.

He glared at Jane as he brushed past him and said loudly, 'I called you a jerk, can you think of a better name for yourself after what you did to her?'

* * *

As they stood in the living room Lisbon said to him, 'So, we're alone now. What do you want Jane? Why are you here?'

'Sorry I broke up your cosy little evening with handsome there. He certainly seems to know enough about me, that's for sure.'

'Like he said, he's my friend. He's been a good one to me over the past few weeks. Not everyone has a hidden agenda.'

Lisbon looked at him narrowly and then laughed. 'Is that why you're back all of a sudden? Why you've cooked up this scheme to get you back to Austin? Somehow you got it into your head that I was seeing someone else? Jesus, as soon as you think there's another man who wants me you can't help but spring into action it seems. You know you really do act like a selfish child. You only want a toy when someone else decides he wants to play with it.'

'I'm acting like a child? At least it's better than jumping into bed with the first person who looks at me twice! You're right though, the thought of you with another man drives me crazy, is that what you want to hear? Is that enough truth for you?' Jane's voice reverberated around the walls.

Lisbon stood there with her arms crossed and raised her eyebrows to him. Never had she seen him so angry.

He thought for a second and controlled his breathing, allowing her words to register. After a moment he added quietly, 'Wait a minute. You mean you're not sleeping with him? But Cho said-'

'No I'm not. But even if I was it's none of your damn business. It seems your spy got the wrong end of the stick.'

'He wasn't my spy. I was worried about you. You didn't give me another option.'

Lisbon laughed. 'Can you even hear yourself, Jane? Another option? You can't help yourself, can you, from interfering in my life?'

Jane ran his hand through his hair, calming himself down. After a minute he said, 'Do you have any tea?'

'From what I've heard you prefer something stronger to tea nowadays.'

Jane tilted his head. 'I never knew Cho could be so chatty.'

Lisbon walked over and put water in the kettle and slammed it on the stove. 'Do you know what that was like to hear, that you were drinking too much, because of me? Jane, you know what I went through with my father. How did you think it felt when another man I loved started drinking like that?'

Jane closed his eyes briefly and walked over to her, seeing the tears in her eyes. He touched her hand and said softly, 'I'm sorry Teresa. I didn't think about that. I just needed something to dull the pain for a while. You weren't meant to hear about it. I swear I haven't touched a drop in over a week. You know I'm not an alcoholic. If I had that tendency I would have been one long before now.'

Lisbon moved her hand away and sighed, putting the teabags into two mugs.

Jane glanced at the mug and said meekly, 'What happened to my cup and saucer?'

Lisbon couldn't help but let out a laugh and replied, 'I smashed it against that wall there, you can still see the dent' as she pointed to the wall opposite her.

Jane took a closer look, nodded and smiled back.

Lisbon took a sip of tea and smiled sadly at him.

As they stood there in silence Jane suddenly didn't have a clue what to say next. All he could do was look at her sad, tired and angry face and felt himself being drawn into her green eyes. She stood with her back to the kitchen table. A memory came to him of them making love fervently on that very table after their first official dinner date and he had to look away from her, the pleasure of that memory too hard for him to bear.

'What's wrong? You seemed to have plenty to say earlier?'

Jane shrugged and looked around the room. It hadn't changed much apart from the fact that there were no photographs left of the two of them on the mantelpiece.

'You took the photos down.'

'What did you expect? Me to keep them there as a shrine to the biggest mistake of my life? Why are you here, Jane?' She placed the mug on the table behind her.

'Is that what you really think? That our time together was the biggest mistake of your life?'

'I'm an open book to you, aren't I? What do you think? Am I telling you the truth?'

Jane walked over to her gingerly, keeping his eyes focused to hers. Lisbon gripped the table with her hands behind her but didn't move or look away as he got closer. He stood facing her, his expression serious now.

'You'd like to think it was. It would make it easier for you but no, you don't think that', he said softly.

Lisbon looked away finally and bit her lip, her eyes welling up. 'You're right, I wish I did but I still don't.'

Jane remained standing where he was. He moved his hand to her cheek and made him look up at her. 'It's obvious I'm still in love with you, Teresa. I've tried to stay away but I can't. I can see it in your eyes. I know you're still in love with me too.'

He moved forward and kissed her lips softly, his hand still on her cheek as the other moved to hold her waist gently.

She parted her lips and kissed him back as her hands moved around his waist.

Jane moaned as he felt her touch on him. It felt like he was suddenly ashore again after years at sea. He kissed her deeper, unable to get enough of her mouth and lips.

Lisbon felt intoxicated as they explored each other again. She moved her hands to his curls, relishing their familiar feel in her fingers and began to feel breathless as his tongue moved from her mouth to her neck, grazing the cross she wore. He pushed her lightly against the table as both his hands held her face, moving it up gently so he could explore her neck more. She felt the desire building up in him, a desire matched by her own. It would be so easy to take him back and forgive him like she had many times before but knew she couldn't be that weak, not this time. Nothing had ultimately changed since the last time they spoke. The same issues and conflicts between them were still present and would simply bubble up to the surface again in time. Just another minute, she told herself as his lips moved back to hers and he began to move his hands under her blouse, skimming her breasts softly. He took a breath, looked at her and grinned.

'I knew you felt the same way still', he said softly, moving his lips back to her neck.

Lisbon felt the fury inside her and, for once, thanked god for his egotism and pushed him away forcefully.

'Jesus, you're an arrogant son of a bitch. But of course I still love you despite that. There's nothing more I'd rather do right now than for us to fall into bed. But then what, Jane? Then what?' She moved to the couch and sat down, her head in her hands.

Jane knelt in front of her, taking her hands. 'Then we try again. I try again. We love each other. You were right when you said we were better off together and not apart. I promise I'll try harder, Teresa. Please just give me that chance.'

Lisbon looked at him and sighed, tears running down her face.

'I wish I could. But don't you see? I can't trust you anymore. Your promises mean nothing to me now. You had a chance to open up to me and you didn't. You ran away instead.'

'I told you, I blamed myself and was afraid of you getting hurt.'

'So, what's changed? I'm still with the FBI. I'm still in a dangerous job. And even if I wasn't I could get knocked down by a bus tomorrow. And knowing you, you would somehow make yourself feel responsible for that too.'

'We'll figure something out, Teresa. I can't stand being apart from you. This last month has been hell.'

'It's too late, Jane. It's too late.'

'You said that to me once before, it turned out it wasn't.'

Lisbon sighed and smiled sadly, remembering his declaration of love on the plane.

'That seems like a long time ago. And you had never hurt me as much as you have since then.'

Jane looked into her eyes, tears streaming down his face.

Lisbon wiped his tears away. 'Jane, you have to stop doing this to me. You know it's not fair. You can't act the way you do and just come back to me when you're feeling alone and look to me for warmth and compassion.'

She got off the sofa and began pacing the room. Jane went to sit on the couch, watching her.

'You know how they say addiction can run in families? Well, you're mine I guess. If you stay here we both know I'll end up forgiving you and taking you back. I won't be able to help myself. I mean you were in the house, what, ten minutes and I was ready to have sex with you for god's sake. I'm not blaming you for my behaviour; it's entirely my own weakness. And you were right, I tried to make you into a better human being but that was wrong of me too. I can't be the one responsible for making you feel worthwhile. You shouldn't want to be a better person simply because of me. You should want to be a better person for yourself, no one else. Maybe then you'll allow yourself to finally let go of some of the hatred and self loathing inside of you. That won't happen if you stay here. We'll end up going back into our old patterns and you'll probably end up running away again and then hating yourself some more. The only way we can break the cycle is by being apart for good.'

Jane stared at her. 'I don't know if I can do that, Teresa. You've been my rock for so long, my anchor. I don't know how to function without you in my life. You've heard about me in the last month. I was, I am, a mess.'

Lisbon sat on the couch beside him. 'Please stop guilt tripping me, Jane. You told me once that the most important thing for you was for me to be happy, right? Look at me. Am I happy?'

Jane stared into her deep emerald eyes, her cheeks wet from her tears. He shook his head. 'No, you're not.' He looked down to the ground.

Lisbon said softly, 'It's the most important thing to me too. I so want you to be happy, Jane. I thought that I could make you happy and I'd like to think I did for a little while but you still have your barriers up with me, even after all these years. Please find a way to be happy, Jane. Please find a way to forgive yourself and move on finally.'

Jane nodded his head as he stared at the ground. He got up from the couch and went to the door. Lisbon watched him for a second before getting up. 'You don't have to go right away, you can stay a little while longer if you want.'

Jane croaked, 'No, I better go now.' As she came up to him she hugged him tightly and he hugged her back, savouring the feel of her in his arms. He looked at her and whispered, 'You didn't just make me happy for a little while Teresa, you made me happy for a lot longer than that.'

Lisbon began crying again and said, 'Thank you. And despite what I've said tonight please believe that the happiest times of my life have been with you.'

Jane nodded and they kissed tenderly.

As he opened the door he said, 'I love you, Lisbon, I always will.'

He saw her expression and added, 'Don't worry about me anymore, okay? I'm not going to do anything foolish. I'm going to do as you say and try to find a way to move on away from here. You do the same, okay?'

Lisbon nodded, embracing him once again before he found the strength to pull away from her and gave her one last kiss.

* * *

**A/N: I warned you it was going to be emotional. Hope you keep reading, their paths will of course cross again!**

**Thanks again to all of you taking the time to read, review and follow.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 - Changes

Jane didn't sleep that night. He drove back to the motel room he had rented and laid on the bed. He had lost her. He had played with her emotions once too often and her patience with him had finally run out. He was foolish and arrogant thinking he could return and win her back with a kiss and an apology. Her words echoed back to him. She wanted him to be happy and move on. He thought he had, at least that's how it felt over the last three months. But now he knew she was right, all the progress he made had been because of her, because of wanting to take care of her and please her. He had tried to grow into a decent human being but had reverted to his old self once she had been shot, hiding his feelings and running away. He thought about his time on the island. Its peace and tranquillity had allowed him time to heal from all the pain and his pursuit of Red John. But he only felt a tinge of happiness when he wrote his letters to her. How the hell was he supposed to make himself happy without her? It was a contradiction, surely. Go into therapy? He couldn't help but laugh at the notion. Unburdening the sorrowful tale of his life to a stranger was absurd to him. He sighed and sat up on the bed, trying to make his brain work and come up with a solution, perhaps one that would bring her back to him. He shook his head and tried to reason with himself. No, he had to do this alone and for himself. He couldn't hang on to the hope that she would take him back one day. He didn't have a plan with what he was going to do with the rest of his life but he came to one conclusion at least. He needed to talk to Abbott about it in the morning.

* * *

After Jane left Lisbon closed the door and sat on the floor with her back to it, her legs unable to hold her any longer. She buried her head in her hands and sobbed. She had not cried like this since her mother died and couldn't help but feel the same raw emotions, letting Jane out of her life felt like a kind of death to her. She began to rethink her words. Had she been too tough on him? Maybe he deserved one more chance to make things up to her? But instead she sat there and didn't move, knowing that she couldn't put him through the same emotional turmoil he had put her through. They had ended things amicably at least and she smiled thinly at that fact. It was better than what had happened in the Airstream that night when her words were full of bitterness and anger. She tried to take comfort in that knowledge at least.

* * *

Jane was waiting for Abbott in his office the following morning.

'Jane, you're an early bird for once, what's up? Is there a problem with the plan for tonight?'

Abbott sat down at his desk and took in Jane's sallow complexion and knew immediately the plan was not the problem.

'You've seen Lisbon' he stated.

Jane nodded. 'Despite your efforts to keep me apart from her, yes, I have.'

'That wasn't all my doing, Jane. She didn't want to be here when you turned up. But yes, I thought it would be better if you two had a conversation of a personal nature after this operation tonight.'

Jane shrugged and looked around the room, his hands flicking his fingers nervously.

Abbott regarded him and said quietly, 'I'm sorry you couldn't work things out.'

Jane sighed and looked back at Abbott again. 'I don't need your pity, Dennis.'

'It's not pity, Jane. It's called concern.'

'Well, whatever it is I don't need it.'

Jane straightened himself in the chair. 'Anyway, that's not what I came here for. I needed to talk to you about my deal. I want out of it.'

Abbott's eyes widened. 'You want out of your deal? If you recall Patrick, you still have another four years to run.'

'I'm aware of that. I'm asking you release me early. I want off your leash after this operation tonight.'

'And why would I do that? You're the best asset I have.'

'I guarantee I won't be if you continue to hold on to me.'

'If that's the case then prison awaits you.'

'You're not going to send me to prison, Dennis. How would that look if it got out to the public? That the FBI made a man who lost his wife and child and eventually killed the serial killer responsible work for them for a year before throwing him into the slammer? You can see it in court, Dennis. I get a couple of survivors of Red John's other victims in court and the FBI will have the worst publicity of its life. You may still get me locked up but I'm willing to take that chance, are you?'

'Threats, is it? That's what you're resorting to now?'

'I have nothing more to lose, why not?' Jane slunk back in his chair before continuing. 'Look, cards on the table. You and I both know the real reason I accepted our deal. And why I've been happy to go along with it until now.'

'Because of Lisbon', Abbott stated.

Jane nodded. 'I had to make you see what an asset she was to you, to the FBI. Now you have there's no point in continuing with the charade any longer, especially now. Look, I could have run away to South America again last night and left you in the lurch with this operation but I didn't. I've actually grown to like and respect you Dennis so thought I'd come here and try to be open with you instead.'

Abbott nodded. 'It's not my decision, Jane.'

'Then let me talk to Chief Schultz, I'll be happy to explain my position to her.'

'Let me talk to her. In the meantime, get yourself ready for your heist with Mancini.'

* * *

The operation went without a hitch and not only did the FBI manage to arrest Mancini's team, Jane had been able to convince Mancini himself to be part of the operation. After his arrest, it was easy for Fischer and Cho to make a deal with his accountant to find his missing millions in return for a stint in the witness protection program. Cho bought case closed pizza and Miller bought some Scotch as the team toasted their victory.

Jane walked into the bullpen and took a seat on his couch, his fingers caressing the soft leather. Lisbon had taken the day off and he was relieved he didn't have to go through another heart wrenching goodbye with her.

Abbott eyed him and motioned for him to come into his office.

A piece of paper sat on the desk between them as Jane took a seat.

'You managed to persuade her?' Jane said.

'It wasn't easy, especially after today but I told her that you would still work for us on a consultancy basis even without the deal in place and that based on this case alone that you deserved your freedom. She was happy to go along with that.'

'You know that's not my intention.'

Abbott shrugged. 'How was I supposed to know that, seemed like a reasonable assumption.' His lips turned into a smirk.

Jane smiled back. 'She's going to give you hell to pay when she realises the truth.'

'Nothing worse than what my wife does to be every night I'm late, I can handle an ear bashing.'

Jane smiled and took the pen from the table and signed the document.

Abbott took the document, signing it himself and gave Jane a copy.

'Guess we're done', Abbott said quietly.

'Thank you, Dennis. I've never really said that to you, have I? I don't mean just for this. I mean for bringing me back here, allowing me the time I had...' Jane's words petered out as he put the put the document in his jacket, avoiding Abbott's gaze.

'So, what are your plans now?' Abbott asked briskly, allowing Jane time to recover.

Jane looked at him, a smile planted back on his face and he replied, 'I have no idea, think I'll head back to California, maybe do some travelling up and down the coast for a little while. After that, who knows?'

* * *

**A/N: Next one is lighter, I promise. Just had to get Jane out of the FBI first to give him some freedom and place him back in California to set up the rest of the story. **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: This chapter is a little like when 2.0 was launched, with a few differences thrown in.**

* * *

Chapter 15 - Steph

_**Two Months Later**_

The old pick-up truck pulled up at the diner and its occupant got out, stretching his arms to the heavens and yawned loudly. The sun felt good on his face after driving all night and he soaked in its rays for a minute. He looked around him and took in the scene before him. The marina in San Mateo lay in front of him as he glanced down at the set of keys in his hand. He put them in his pocket and entered the diner.

He sat at the counter and glanced at the water and the yachts through the large picture windows at his side. A waitress came over and looked at him curiously.

'Hey there, what can I get you?' she said casually.

He turned around and took in her appearance and bemused expression. She was slim and in her early twenties, wore little make up, had a tanned complexion and had long sandy coloured hair, tied at the back in a ponytail.

Jane replied, 'Tea, please. Along with some loosely scrambled eggs on rye toast, one strip of bacon and one sausage, thanks. '

'It'll be right up.'

She turned around to give the order to the chef and prepared the tea.

'Can you put the milk in first?' he said as she was about to dip the teabag into the hot water.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, fetching the milk silently.

She passed the tea to him and stood with her arms crossed and looked at him, defying him to find fault.

He sipped the tea and glanced at her name badge. 'Thank you, Steph. That hits the spot.'

She nodded and went back to a book she was reading at the counter.

He ate his breakfast ravenously and ordered more tea and a slice of pecan pie.

Steph came back over to clear his plate.

'Sorry about earlier, I just like my tea made in a particular way.'

She shrugged. 'It's the customer's prerogative', going back to her book.

'Thank you. So what happens around here?'

'Not much' she replied, not taking her eyes from the text.

He nodded and rolled his eyes.

'I'm not trying to hit on you if that's what you think. Jesus, you're half my age for a start and the last thing I need is the complication of all that even if you weren't' he said bluntly. 'I've just drove all night to get here, guess I'm a little bit punchy on it. Too tired to sleep, makes me talk too much sometimes.'

She raised her eyes from the book to look at him and laughed, surprising him.

'Only half your age? I'd say I was a lot less than that the way you're looking this morning, old man. And no, I didn't think you were hitting on me. I've had plenty of experience of that in this place, especially from people your age so I know what that looks like. '

Jane raised his eyebrows. 'I'm guessing you don't get many tips.'

Steph shrugged and smiled back. 'I do okay. Most of the old guys that come in here don't exactly tip me because of how I speak to them.'

Jane chuckled and nodded. He looked down at his worn suit and scratched his beard, glancing at himself in the mirror opposite. She was right. He certainly looked much more than double her age in his current condition.

She left her book to refill his cup. 'So, what brings you here then?'

'Ah, you're trying to get me to increase my tip now that you know your girly ways won't work on me?'

She smiled again. 'You'll leave a big tip anyway. You like me. Not like that but you do in any case.'

'I do?'

'Sure, it's obvious.'

Jane nodded. She was exactly right. He did like her.

'So what makes you so sure I'm not hitting on you?'

Steph shrugged. 'That's easy. You're still in love with someone else. I'm guessing it's your ex wife or something like that. You have that look about you, wistful, melancholy, something like that. You're too much in love with her still to even think about trying to hook up with someone else, even someone as gorgeous as me. Why else would you have been so worried that that was how you were coming across to me?'

Jane sat with his mouth open.

Steph saw his expression change from a smirk to sadness and said quickly, 'I'm sorry. My mouth runs away on me sometimes. I didn't mean to offend you.'

Jane regained his composure and smiled at her. 'That's okay. It's just not often I meet someone who's so good at reading people. But she wasn't my ex wife, we never made it that far, unfortunately. ' He looked down at his tea and gripped the sides.

After a moment he added breezily, 'Thanks for the breakfast and the tea, Steph. And the chat. I have just acquired a boat in the marina so I dare say you'll be seeing more of me. I'm Patrick, by the way.' He outstretched his hand to her and they shook hands.

He left her a large tip and walked out of the diner.

* * *

Lisbon took the case file from the space in the bed beside her and began reading through it. It was 2am and sleep was still evading her. She put the file down and went over to the chest of drawers, finding Jane's letters instead, taking out one she had read a hundred times before.

_Dear Lisbon_

_Guess this is going to come as a surprise to you after all these months. I'm hoping it's a pleasant one. Hope you're well and have found another calling for your skills outside of the CBI. You deserve to be in a job where you are respected and admired. You are an amazing cop and an even more amazing person and friend. I want to begin by saying that I'm truly sorry for all the trouble I've caused you over the years. In fact, the words 'sorry' and 'trouble' don't even come close to conveying all my actions and the regret I have over how I've treated you sometimes._

_I arrived at the island here around six months ago. It's hot as hell and you would not believe your eyes if you saw what I wear nowadays. Gone are the days of my vest and jacket. You would probably say I had a homeless vibe to me like you did when I first met you and I can't deny that's true. I've been thinking about that day, when you told me to clean myself up. You didn't pity me like all the others at that time and I was truly grateful to you for giving me the kick up the backside I needed. As much as I have achieved from doing what I had to do before I left I need you to know that it was you that saved me that day and pretty much every day after that. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to say that to you in person._

_I'll write again soon._

_Miss you_

_U No Hoo _

Lisbon sighed and traced her fingers over the words.

* * *

**A/N: In case it isn't clear from what I've written so far, don't fret. Jane isn't about to enter a romantic relationship with this girl.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 - Reflection

Jane looked at the boat in front of him. Or was it a yacht? He shrugged, not knowing or caring what the difference was. He had won it in a poker game in Vegas a couple of nights before. At first, he hadn't intended on keeping it. He had accidentally met Cal Trask again, a lowlife of a man who he had played poker with before during a case for the CBI and couldn't resist ridding him of what seemed to be his prized possession. Upon reflection the next day he thought it might be nice to spend a little time on the water again. It always had a soothing effect on him and he was tired of the bright lights of Vegas. He had returned the Airstream to the FBI when he left and was tired of staying in motel rooms as he travelled around. It would be nice to have somewhere to call home again, for a little while at least. The name on the side read 'The Clarissa'. That was one thing he had to change. Apart from that it was a pretty nice boat/yacht. A seating area was at the front and behind it a little kitchen area, bedroom and bathroom. There were stairs from the bottom deck leading to the top deck where another seating area lay, alongside a table. The engine room sat behind it. He smiled as he touched the wheel and studied the buttons and knobs in front of him. He hadn't a clue how to sail the damn thing so would have to find someone to teach him.

He got off the boat and caught a glance of a couple looking at him. He really did need to buy some new clothes. With that in mind he sauntered back up to his pick-up truck and headed to San Francisco to do some shopping.

He returned later that evening in pair of stonewashed jeans and a casual white shirt along with some supplies for the kitchen, new bedding, a few more clothes and a couple of tins of paint.

He made himself a cup of tea and took it to the top deck to look at the stars. He brought with him the only photograph of himself and Lisbon that he had and looked at it. He only allowed himself to gaze at it occasionally and he smiled as he remembered the day in a park in Austin he had taken it. It had taken him at least twenty attempts to catch them both in the lens together. Lisbon had told him to ask someone else to take it but he enjoyed the eyerolls, smirks and grins from her every time he failed much too much to do that. He sighed and wondered if he had changed. The last two months had been hard on him. In the beginning he travelled without any purpose at all, spending days just driving until he fell into a motel room exhausted.

After a month he found himself back in Sacramento. He had avoided it until then, the memories of Angela, Charlotte, Red John and Lisbon all too much for him to take in at the beginning. He went to visit the graves and in his mind told them all about Lisbon and how much of an idiot he had been. He imagined Angela's voice agreeing with him but instead of allowing himself to wallow in self pity he smiled at her perceived response instead. Their life together was so far apart from his life after she died. She would hardly recognise the man he turned into after her death. He tried to think of himself objectively. In many ways he was a better man and in many others he was worse. He couldn't help but think that had he met the two most important women in his life the other way around and Angela had been in Lisbon's position she never would have stuck by him like Lisbon had. She would have been too horrified by some of his actions and he couldn't blame her for that. He had always tried to shield the worst aspects of his personality from Angela, not always effectively but many times he succeeded. It was easier putting on an act with her than with Lisbon as the years went on. She knew a much worse side to him than Angela could have imagined. It wasn't a failing of either of them but Angela was more gentle a soul than the strong woman he had fallen in love with after her. Was that where he had got himself mixed up? Had he treated Lisbon like some kind of delicate flower or put her on too high a pedestal for him ever to live up to? He put the photograph down and lay back on the seating to look at the stars. Was he happier yet? Certainly not without her but he was beginning to feel more at ease in his own company and had started to be honest with himself at least. But having this time to reflect was seriously exhausting and he began to doze off.

* * *

'Agent Lisbon, a word in my office', Abbott barked from the hallway.

Lisbon entered the room to find Cho and Fischer standing there also. She looked at them suspiciously as Abbott asked her to take a seat. All the years working with Jane made her naturally suspicious of uncommon behaviour and the sight of Cho trying to suppress a smile made her uncomfortable.

'Don't be nervous, Agent Lisbon, you haven't done anything wrong' Abbott smirked.

Now she really was concerned.

With a blank face she answered, 'I know I haven't, what's up?'

Abbott replied, 'Well, I've been going over your latest case files and I've been very impressed by your dedication and work over the last few months.'

'Thanks, boss. But you could have told me that at my desk.'

'Well, in light of all your diligence you have been promoted to grade four with immediate effect. Congratulations.'

Lisbon widened her eyes. 'Really? Already? But that's the same grade as-'

'Me', Fischer responded for her. She added, 'You deserve it Teresa, well done.'

Cho smiled widely and said, 'Guess I'm going to have to start calling you boss again.'

Lisbon got out of her chair and gave him a hug. 'Don't even think about it.'

She turned to Abbott. 'Are you sure about this?'

'Couldn't be more sure. Now get back to work, Agent Lisbon.'

As she left the office Abbott smiled widely. Once the paperwork was in order he had another proposition for her in the coming weeks.

* * *

Cho and Fischer insisted on taking Lisbon out to celebrate her promotion. Tim joined them and they sat around a table in the noisy bar. After a few rounds Cho made a move to leave.

'Where are you going?' Lisbon asked.

'I...I have a date' he replied. 'Her shift finishes at nine.'

Lisbon's eyes widened. 'How long has this been going on?'

'A few months.'

Lisbon wasn't surprised that she was only hearing this news now and smiled. 'Good for you, Kimball, I'm happy for you. What does she do? Does she work with us?'

'Ah..no, she doesn't.'

'So...'

'You remember the surgeon who operated on you?'

Lisbon's eyes narrowed. 'You're kidding!'

Cho shrugged and allowed a small smile to cover his lips.

After he left Lisbon laughed. 'Well, I'm glad one good thing came out of me getting shot.'

Kim went to the bar to get another round as Tim said, 'Don't you think it's time you started dating again, Teresa? I have a friend-'

'Stop right there, Tim. I'm not interested and you know it. I'm not ready.'

'Will you ever be?'

Lisbon shrugged. 'Probably not. But I have my career to focus on. That's what I was doing when he showed up years ago and wrecked it for me. Back then I never imagined I'd ever be married or have kids anyway. I'm just going to be that person again.' The hurt and bitterness in her voice was evident and she knew she didn't mean some of what she was saying.

'Is he ever going to be out of your system?'

Lisbon's eyes misted over. 'Did I make a mistake? Should I have given him another chance? When I told him to move on I didn't mean for him to leave the FBI. I didn't mean for him to give up a job he was so good at. At least when he was in L.A., I could find out how he was if I wanted to. I have no clue what he's up to now and I'm afraid of what he's turned himself into.'

'You could call him. Just to check how he is. It would put your mind at rest at least, right?'

* * *

As the taxi dropped her off, Lisbon shuffled through her bag to find her keys. She knew those last two glasses of wine were going to kill her come the morning.

She changed into her nightshirt and took a large glass of water to the bed. As she lay there she looked at the phone. Every iota of her being was telling her not to drunk dial him but she found herself picking up the phone anyway.

Jane had went to bed after his earlier doze and found himself drifting off when his phone rang.

He saw the name and was instantly awake, staring at the screen. He pressed the green button and said, in a lot squeakier tone than he would have liked, 'Hello, Lisbon.'

'Hey, Jane.'

He waited for her to say something else as he sat straight up on the bed, his heart racing but then realised she was waiting for him.

'How are you? It's nice to hear from you.' He rolled his eyes at his own words.

There was still silence on the other end and he was getting worried now.

'Lisbon, are you okay? Please answer me.'

He finally heard a sigh on the other end, allowing him to exhale.

'Yes, I'm fine. I...I just wanted to...I just wanted to tell you something.'

The words came out quietly and he could tell she had been drinking as she tended to over pronounce her words after a few too many glasses of wine.

'Okay, Teresa, what is it?'

She heard him say her first name and tears began to stream down her face silently.

'I got a promotion today.'

It was not exactly the declaration Jane was hoping for but at least she was talking to him.

'Oh. Congratulations, Teresa, I'm happy for you, you deserve it.' He hoped she hadn't picked up the disappointed tone in his voice.

'Thanks.' Another pause followed. 'How are you? I'm sorry you left your job because of me. I never intended that.'

Jane sighed. 'I left my job because of me, okay? I needed some time to myself. Don't blame yourself.'

'Are you happier?'

Jane smiled. 'I am now.'

He heard the muffled sound on the other end and knew she was crying. 'Don't cry, Teresa, please. If you start that then we'll both be a mess.'

He heard a faint laugh on the other end and the sound of her rubbing her nose.

'Maybe I shouldn't have called.'

'I'm glad you did.'

She tried to pull herself together. 'So, where are you?'

'Still in California.'

'And you're doing okay, really?'

'Yes, Teresa, I'm doing okay.'

'Are you working somewhere?'

'Not at the minute. I'm taking some time to find myself I guess you would call it.'

He heard her laugh. 'I would never say that. Sounds like some kind of hippie nonsense. You sure you haven't joined a commune?'

He grinned and chuckled back. 'No, I haven't veered off the reservation just yet.'

'Mind you don't. Or next time I see you you'll probably have beads in your hair.'

After a moment silence engulfed them both again.

Jane was the first to speak. 'And when will that be?'

'I didn't mean it like that. It was just a turn of phrase.'

'I see. That's a shame.'

'Look, I better go, got work in the morning. I'm glad you're well. I guess I can't help myself still worry about you.'

'Okay, Teresa. It was lovely hearing from you and please call again. If you want to, that is. Anytime.'

'Night, Jane.'

'Night. And Lisbon?'

'Yes?'

'Make sure you drink the full glass of water that's sitting on the bedside table beside you before you go to sleep, okay?'

* * *

**A/N: I hadn't intended them to connect again so quickly but I know most of you are dying for them to get back together quickly so thought I'd give you just a little taster for now. Thanks again to all who are following and taking the time to review. **

**I wish the guest reviewers would log on as I try to respond to every review but I can't in your case but thank you for all the comments in any case.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: No Lisbon in this chapter but she'll be back in the next. This one is pretty dialogue driven, hope you enjoy.  
**

* * *

Chapter 17 - Similarities

The next morning Jane walked up to the diner with a spring in his step. His conversation with Lisbon the night before was not exactly groundbreaking by any means and she had more than likely only called him because she was a little intoxicated but it was better than nothing. He didn't want to get his hopes up, he still had issues to work out and even if he managed to accomplish that the best he may get would be for her to agree to be his friend again. If that was the case, he imagined he could settle for that, maybe. He even had a shave this morning, the scratchiness of his beard annoying him.

He saw Steph's eyebrows rise as she took in the new image in front of her and he smiled and took his seat at the counter.

'Better?' he enquired.

'Yeah, you look about half my age now. Let me guess, same order as yesterday?'

'You remember?'

'It's my business to remember the orders of good tippers.'

As he ate his eggs he noticed her head was still buried in the book from yesterday. From where he was he could see it was some sort of text book so ascertained she was going to college at the same time as waitressing in the diner.

She lifted her head to refill his cup. 'So, everything good?'

'Meh, it's okay. Eggs could be a little better. I might talk to the chef, tell him where he's going wrong.'

Steph smiled and shouted to the man behind the counter, 'Hey, Rico, man here wants to talk to you about the eggs.'

Jane's eyes widened as a man came through the door who was about six foot six tall and about two foot wide. 'What's the problem?'

Jane thought for a second and then replied, 'Great eggs', putting a forkful into his mouth, smiling.

Rico huffed and went into the back again. Steph grinned at Jane. 'Coward'

'You know I'm really interested to know how you treat customers who don't tip you well.'

'Sorry, couldn't resist. So, Patrick, you said you owned a boat here. Which one?'

'The Clarissa. Though I'm planning on changing the name.'

'You got it from Cal Trask?'

'Yes, that's right. You know him?'

'Yeah, he's not exactly the kind of man you forget. I hope you're not a friend of his, he makes my skin crawl.'

'Definitely not a friend. I won it from him in a poker game.'

'You mean he's not coming back here?'

'Wouldn't imagine so, he was pretty mad when I beat him' he replied, chuckling.

Steph smiled and sliced a piece of pecan pie. 'For that, this is on the house.' She added, 'So is that what you do then, play poker for a living?'

He pulled the pie towards him, glancing back at her. 'No, not really, I'm just good at it.'

'So, what do you do?'

'Um...at the moment, nothing.'

'Nothing? Aren't you bored?'

'Not yet, I'm...I'm just taking a little time out for a while until I figure out what to do with the rest of my life.'

'To get over your broken heart.'

Jane shrugged. 'Something like that.'

'So what did you do before?'

'Did anyone ever tell you that you were nosey?'

'Well, you're hardly one to talk. You're dying to ask me about the book I'm reading.'

Jane smiled and nodded. 'But the difference is I haven't.'

'Guess that patience comes with age.'

He shrugged and said to her, 'What do you think I used to do?'

'How would I know?' Then she thought for a second and replied, 'Okay, magician?'

'Magician? What made you say that?'

'I don't know, you keep on fiddling with your fingers and I noticed you rolling a straw yesterday just by blowing on it and making it look like you were doing it with your mind or something. It was the first thing that came to mind.'

'For someone who spends most of the time with her head in a book you're pretty observant.'

'So I was right?'

'Kind of. I've done some magic in my time but I've never really been a magician. I most recently worked for the FBI.'

'Yeah, right.'

Jane looked at her and took a sip of his tea.

'Really? Well you definitely don't look like a fed.'

'I think I'll take that as a compliment.'

'So, what happened, why'd you leave?'

'Long story. So, about the book?'

Steph smiled and brought it over to him. He read the spine. 'You're at Stanford studying Law? That's impressive.'

'Yip, for my sins I am. Just work mornings here to help pay for books and so on. Do my finals in a few months time so I'm taking the chance to cram everything I can when it's quiet here.'

'Can't see you having any problems, why are you so worried?'

'How did you know I was worried?'

'Well, the way your brow creases when you're looking at that book and the way you tug on that bracelet of yours. I'm guessing it was gift from a parent, you do it out of nervousness.'

'You're pretty observant yourself. It's just the text. I need to memorise passages from it and they're so goddamned boring I can't seem to take it in.'

'Oh, is that all? Well, that's easy. I can help you memorise them.'

'What do you mean?'

'Let me show you. Let me see a page for a minute or two and I'll recite it back to you, or any paragraph you want me to.'

'You have a photographic memory?'

'No, it's called a memory palace.' He caught the look of disbelief on her face and said, 'It's easier if I show you.'

Steph took the book back and did as he said, eyeing him suspiciously. To her surprise he was able to recite passages from the text after only a few minutes.

'That's amazing. Maybe you did work for the FBI after all.'

'Ah, that's nothing compared to what I used to do there. If you want me to show you, come by the boat later.'

She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. 'Isn't that a bit like 'come by so I can show you my etchings?''

'I thought we already established that isn't my intention.'

She smiled and said, 'Yeah, I guess we did. Okay, I might drop by later.'

'No problem. By the way, do you know anyone round here who could help me work my boat?'

'Work your boat? You mean sail it?'

'Yeah, whatever. Do you know anyone?'

'There's a guy who comes in here at lunchtime just before I leave normally, his name is Steve. I'll get him to call on you. He's a nice guy, a little boring but he's okay.'

* * *

Steve came by later on and was enthralled to be able to teach someone about the inner workings of the boat's engine. He was a little on the boring side but Jane let him ramble on, looking enthused and just taking in the knowledge he needed. After a test sail, Steve allowed him to take the wheel and Jane enjoyed the experience of zipping through the water.

For the next two weeks Jane got into a bit of a routine. He would generally go to the diner in the morning, take a sail around the bay before coming back as Steph finished work and he helped her study for an hour or so. She generally brought some sandwiches and muffins from the diner that they ate together.

One day she asked him, 'So, are you ever going to tell me about this woman then?'

'I thought you were studying' he replied from over the corner of a novel he was reading.

'Come on, I need a break.'

'And you can't find something better to do than discuss my private life? The deck needs sweeping if you're bored.'

'Come on, old man, I know you want to tell me.'

Jane smiled at her. She had an uncanny way of getting him to open up. Or perhaps he was just ready to be more open.

So he told her the whole sorry tale of his time with Lisbon. He had left out the deaths of his family and Red John in the equation, but told her about how they worked together for years before finally admitting how they felt right up to the point of their last conversation.

'Ah, so that was why you came into the diner that day looking a little happier, she had drunk dialled you the night before.'

He hadn't heard of the term before but guessed it was as good a turn of phrase as any other and shrugged.

'That was pretty lousy of you, leaving her like that after she was shot.'

Jane nodded. 'It was. I was an idiot. I should have talked to her but I pushed her away instead. So it served me right when she did the same to me. I have no one to blame but myself.'

'You're right, you don't.'

'Thanks, I thought you were my friend by the way. Don't I get a little sympathy? My heart got broken too.'

'Maybe a little but what's that going to get you? You want her back, so go after her. Make her listen to you. Stop being such a wimp.'

'Jeez, you believe in tough love, don't you? But it's not as simple as that unfortunately. If I even have a slim chance with her I have to figure out a few things myself first.'

'Like what?'

'Oh, I don't know. How to be responsible for my own sense of wellbeing. I hadn't realised how much I depended on her for making me feel good about myself. That, and a few other things.'

Steph nodded and put her head back in the book.

'Okay, your turn now' Jane said.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, I've told you something personal. Believe me, I'm not usually this open with people.'

Steph looked up from the book again. 'Fine. What do you want to know?'

'When did your father pass away?'

The question shook her and the confident mask she wore slipped away for a second. 'How did you know he passed away?'

Jane shrugged. 'Well, you don't talk about him. I've heard you mention your mother but not your father. I'm guessing it was recent enough and you two were close. Otherwise, you would have mentioned him before now but it's still raw for you.'

'Six months ago and you're right, I'm not ready to talk about him so drop it.'

'I just thought it might help, I didn't mean to upset you.'

'You haven't.'

Jane rolled his eyes. 'It's pretty obvious I have.'

Steph was about to clear her books away when she saw Jane looking at her. She could see the kindness within his eyes and cleared her throat instead. 'He had a heart attack. It came out of nowhere. He was so looking forward to seeing me graduate. He was so proud of me.' Tears began to fall on her cheeks and she looked down.

Jane moved forward to look at her, not knowing if he should take her hands or put his arm around her. He decided to stay where he was and said quietly, 'He had every right to be proud. If you were my daughter-'

Suddenly he stopped and glanced away, his abruptness making Steph look up at him. He had a faraway gaze in his eyes that she couldn't fathom and then suddenly she understood.

'You had a daughter, didn't you?', she asked quietly.

Jane nodded, his face still away from her.

'What happened to her?'

Jane stood up and paced around the deck, trying to bring air back into his lungs. 'She died, her mother too. I don't want to go into what happened. Let's just say it was pretty gruesome.'

'How long ago?'

'Long time. She was only a child when...She would be around your age by now.'

Steph nodded. 'I remind you of her, don't I?'

Jane replied, 'No. I mean, yes, a bit I guess. I didn't even realise it until now but when I think of how she might have grown up I imagined it would be something like you turned out, lippiness and all.' He exhaled and added, 'And that thought has probably freaked you right out and I don't blame you if it has.'

Steph smiled. 'Actually, I think I'll take it as a compliment. I am pretty awesome so can't blame you.' Her mask of confidence firmly planted back on her face she added, 'But let's be clear, old man. I'm not about to suddenly do as you tell me or change how I behave around you.'

Jane smiled at her. 'I wouldn't have it any other way.'


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 – Faces from the Past

As Jane walked back from the diner one morning he caught the name of his boat again. He had bought the paint over a month ago and decided this was as good a day as any to change it. He smiled to himself when he came up with the new name and got the tins of paint out. He was about to begin when a young boy ran up to him out of nowhere.

'I know you, you're Jane!' he said excitedly.

Jane looked at him curiously. He was kneeling so could see the boy's features close up and then he suddenly recognised him, making him grin.

'Yes, I am.' He put down the paintbrush and outstretched his hand. 'Nice to see you again, Ben. It's been a while.'

Ben took his hand shyly and smiled back. 'You look different, what happened to your suit?'

Just then Rigsby came running up to them, the relief evident on his face when he saw his child. He didn't even realise Jane was there to begin with and then it hit him. 'Jesus, Jane. What the hell?' He turned back to Ben and said, 'What have I told you about running off and talking to strangers?'

Ben replied, 'But he's not a stranger, you used to work with him. There are photos of him at home. And you told me how he helped you save Grace so he's your friend, dad.'

Jane grinned and stood up to face Rigsby. 'Smart kid, must take after his mother.'

Rigsby couldn't help but laugh and the two men hugged. Grace wandered up with Maddie in the pushchair and took in the scene in front of her. 'Jane?'

'Hey, Grace. Good to see you.' He embraced her before kneeling down to play with Maddie's fingers, the child smiling up at him.

'God, she's got big. The last photo I saw of her she was practically a baby.'

He looked at the two of them who were still evidently in shock and said, 'Yes, it's me. It's not a figment of your imagination. What brings you to this little piece of heaven?'

Grace replied, 'Well we thought we'd take a day off. We've been flat out lately with work so thought we'd maybe go out on a boat with the kids for the afternoon.' She looked at him suspiciously and said, 'Is this where you're working now? I mean, I heard from Lis-. I heard you left the FBI-'

Jane interjected. 'No, I don't work here but I do own this fine specimen before you. I can take you out for the afternoon, if you'd like. I'd be happy to. It'd be nice to catch up.'

Rigsby and Van Pelt exchanged glances and Jane added, 'I know how to sail it. It'll be fine. Trust me.'

Rigsby replied laughing, 'That's what you used to say before getting us in trouble.'

Jane grinned. 'Well, for once I promise I won't. If it were just the two of you I might be tempted to pull a prank or two on you but not when you've got your kids with you. However, I don't have any life jackets for them but you can hire them just up the road. Get that organised and I'll show you what this baby can do.'

Rigsby brought the children with him to get fitted out as Jane showed Van Pelt around the boat.

'I can't believe how different you look, the sea air obviously agrees with you.'

She looked down for a second as Jane poured her a glass of iced tea.

He said, 'It's okay, Grace. You can talk about her. I'm not going to break down. In fact, I'd like to know how she is.'

'She told me she called you a few weeks back. She's good. I talked to her last week. She's still working too hard but that'll never change I guess.'

He nodded and smiled, looking down.

'What happened, Jane? Wayne and I always thought if you two got together it would be for keeps.'

Jane shrugged, looking back up at her. 'Guess it wasn't meant to be after all.'

'I don't believe that.'

'That's because you're a hopeless romantic, my dear. That's why you love those romantic comedies so much. Real life doesn't always work out like that.'

'I still think you two need your heads knocking together.'

Jane smiled and nodded, sighing. 'I dare say you're probably right.'

* * *

Jane brought Ben up to the engine room, allowing him to take the wheel when they were on the open water and standing behind him protectively as the others sat on the top deck. Maddie had fallen asleep and Rigsby and Van Pelt watched on as Jane kept an eye on the water and on Ben, obviously enjoying himself as much as Ben as he pointed out the sealife and birds around the bay.

Rigsby whispered to Van Pelt, 'So, you were alone with him, how is he really?'

'He seems fine. But it's so hard to tell with him, you know what he's like. But I can tell he misses her, that's obvious.'

Rigsby nodded and sighed, interlacing his fingers with hers. 'Lisbon didn't know he was here?'

'No, she said that he was still in California but didn't know where exactly.'

'Does he know she's coming out here in a couple of weeks? She's not going to be too far away from him.'

'No, I didn't tell him. Do you think I should have?'

'No. The boss wouldn't like it. But you're going to tell her where he is, right? Maybe, the curiosity will get the better of her.'

Van Pelt nodded.

* * *

It had been just under three weeks since she had rang Jane and had been more content since knowing that he was taking care of himself.

Lisbon looked around her house and saw the task in front of her. Empty boxes filled her living room. She couldn't help but think back to when she was packing to go to D.C. with Marcus. It seemed so long ago but yet it was under a year and here she was again, packing up her belongings.

Just over a week ago her life had been turned upside down again when Abbott had called her into his office. His job offer was a tremendous opportunity and she didn't have to think long before accepting it, as nervous as it made her. But it meant leaving Austin and, despite how things had turned out in her personal life, she was going to miss the old and new friends she had made since coming here. They had supported her since her break up and she was surprised at her own openness, so used to dealing with things on her own for years. She had told Tim that she would focus on her career and turn back into the woman she was before Jane came along but she knew that wasn't true. Jane had brought her out of herself, more than she even realised over the years and made her life entertaining and interesting. Despite the headaches he gave her at the CBI and the bad times when Red John reared his ugly head, he had shown her how to enjoy life and not be so afraid to let someone see beyond the hard persona she portrayed then. She wondered if she had ever told him that as much as he had said that she saved him, that he had saved her in many ways too.

She had just changed into her old clothes to begin packing when her phone rang.

'Hey, Lisbon.'

'Hey, Grace. Good to hear from you. How's it going?' She wondered if she was ever going to be called 'Teresa' from Van Pelt and not 'boss' or 'Lisbon'.

'Good...You'll never believe who we ran into today.'

From Van Pelt's tone it was obvious and her stomach flipped. She tried to keep her tone light. 'I'm guessing Jane. Where'd you see him?'

Grace went on to tell her about running into him and their afternoon on his boat.

Lisbon smiled and could imagine Jane having a ball with the two children in particular.

'Can't believe he has a boat now but I guess roaming all over the place is always going to be in his blood. How was he?'

'He looked great. He's really tanned, his hair is much blonder, must be because of the sun I guess and it was so weird to see him in a pair of jeans. Looked like he was fitter too, he told me he had started to swim more.'

Lisbon's imagination started to wander as she pictured the sight of him like this, her heart beginning to race. How could the mere thought of him still affect her like this? She felt her breathing quicken and berated herself for the thoughts filling her mind.

'I don't mean how he looked, Grace. I meant how did he seem to you, in himself?'

'Oh, he seemed okay. Happy, I guess. Seemed at ease with himself, at least. But it's obvious he still misses you like crazy. You should go visit him when you come out here in a couple of weeks. I didn't tell him you were coming, though. Maybe I should have.'

'Look, thanks for not telling him, Grace, but don't start trying to get us back together. I don't know if I'm ready to face him again yet.'

'Why not? Look at me and Wayne. It took us a couple of tries but we found our way back to each other in the end.'

Lisbon sighed. 'Yeah, well you and Wayne are two reasonably sane people. Me and Jane are not.'

'You said it' Grace laughed.

Lisbon laughed and answered, 'Look, I'll think about going to see him, okay? But I'm not making any promises.'


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks for all your lovely reviews. Glad you all like Steph as much I like writing her.**

* * *

Chapter 19 - Names

Jane completed his handiwork and looked at the results. He was never going to be Rembrandt but he took his time and was reasonably happy with the result as he looked at the new name and smiled.

'What the hell kind of a name is that for a boat?' Steph asked.

'Jesus, sidle up much?' he exhaled as she startled him and looked at her.

'So, where does it come from?'

'Can't I have one thing that's private from you?'

She shrugged and continued to look at him.

He went inside to get himself a beer as she followed him onboard. He took a sip as she continued to stare at him.

He laughed, 'What is this, a staring contest? I'm not telling you.'

She sighed. 'Fine, but I'll figure it out.'

'You do that.'

'Where's my beer? Some host you are.' She got up to go to the fridge, taking one out.

'Since when do I need to be a host to you? You treat the place like it's yours anyway.'

'And you wouldn't have it any other way, old man. And besides, it's not like you're ever doing anything here that's exactly private, eh?'

She took a sip as he asked, 'Aren't you driving tonight?'

'No. Jake's picking me up. I told him to meet me here.'

'Oh, you did, did you? Which one is he, the one with the motorcycle, right?'

'Yep.'

Jane rolled his eyes. 'What is it about woman liking bad boys?'

Steph grinned. 'The challenge, of course.'

He shook his head and took another sip. 'You know he's only after one thing.'

'What's that, my mind?' She smirked. 'How do you know that I'm not interested in the same thing from him too? This is the twenty first century, you know. Women are allowed to enjoy and want sex as much as men nowadays.'

After another eyeroll he gave up. 'Fine, it's none of my business. Just be careful, okay?'

'Look, you know me better than that. It takes a man to have a little more than a motorcycle and a flashy smile for me to jump into bed with him. I thought for a second there you were about to give me the talk about the birds and the bees. I had that when I was twelve.'

Jane shook his head and decided to change the subject. 'So, apart from embarrassing me, what are you doing here at this hour?'

'Where were you today? You weren't here when I came by at lunchtime. I wanted to make sure you hadn't sunk this thing.'

He smiled back. 'Why, would you miss me if I had?'

'Of course, who else would I make fun of?'

'Well, I'm glad to bring some much needed amusement to your life. I met up with some old friends, took them and their kids out for the afternoon.'

'FBI friends?'

'Kind of. It was nice to catch up with them.'

Just then Jake arrived on his motorcycle and Jane gave him a steely glare.

Steph grinned and got up. 'You know it freaks him out when you look at him like that?'

Jane grinned back at her. 'Good, it was meant to.'

She laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 'Later, old man.'

'See you in the morning, behave yourself.'

* * *

Cho and Lisbon watched Titus Fletcher through the observation window. He hadn't requested his lawyer. He knew they had nothing on him and merely had to bide his time.

'How long to go?' Lisbon asked.

Cho checked his watch. 'Six more hours then we have to release him.'

Both knew he was guilty of the brutal murder of his babysitter but forensics had come up with nothing to tie him and their interrogations so far had been fruitless.

'I know it's him', Lisbon sighed.

'I'll take another crack at him', Cho said and left the room.

Lisbon sighed again and looked at her phone.

* * *

'So, how was your date, then?' Jane asked, eating his breakfast. He had plucked up the courage to talk to Rico after a week of bad eggs and had found the man not only agreeable to his suggestion but also that he had a liking for literature and poetry. Jane brought him in a few books each time he visited San Francisco that they discussed together on some of the quieter afternoons.

'Do you really want to know?' Steph replied, raising her eyebrows.

'You're right. Forget it. On another subject, I was thinking of offering sailing trips on the boat, what do you think?'

'Why not, it's not like you have anything better to do. I can put up a flyer for you here if you like.'

'Thanks, good idea. Just one thing, can you also make the flyer for me? I'm not too good with computers.'

'How the hell did you work for the FBI? What did you have on your desk, a typewriter instead of a computer?'

'Actually, I didn't have a desk. I had a couch.' Ignoring the confused look from her he added, 'So, flyer. Yes?'

'Sure, I'll do it this afternoon and put it up for you.'

Jane nodded and smiled as his phone rang. He saw the name and his heart stopped. He knew she wasn't drunk at this hour and answered it immediately.

'Good morning Lisbon, how are you?' He was trying his best to sound casual but was sure she could detect the nervousness in his voice.

'Hey, Jane. I need your help.'

'Sorry? Just hang on a second. It's a little noisy in here. I'll take the phone outside.'

He looked at Steph and mouthed, 'I'll be back in a minute.'

Once outside he said, 'Right, that's better. Sorry, what did you say?'

'I need your help with a case. The guy's guilty but-'

'Lisbon, I don't do that anymore. You know that.' He was a little aggrieved; she hadn't even asked how he was or participated in any small talk whatsoever and her voice sounded cold and distant.

She sighed. 'I know that, Jane, but this guy is guilty as hell. We've tried everything to break him and we can't. You know I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't important.'

'What you mean to say is that you wouldn't have rang me at all if it wasn't for this case. Unless, of course, you had a few too many glasses of wine again and then I might have received another call.' This wasn't how their next conversation was supposed to go and he closed his eyes.

He sighed and said, 'I'm sorry, Lisbon. I didn't mean that.'

'Certainly sounded like you did.'

'Well, okay maybe I did. I guess I just hoped the next time you would call that...I thought maybe you heard about me meeting up with Grace and...It doesn't matter. Of course I'll help if it's that important. But I'm not sure how much help I can be from here.'

He heard the warmth back in her voice when she replied, 'I talked to Grace last night, and she said you were doing well, heard you all had a great afternoon together.' After a moment, she added, 'Just take a look at the file, will you, please? See if anything jumps out to you. We really are desperate. Do you have an email address I can send the details to?'

He laughed. 'What do you think?'

She chuckled back. 'Yeah, what was I thinking? How about a fax machine, can you get access to one?'

He was pretty sure there was one in the diner. 'Yes, I think I can. I'll send you the number. Send me the case file and any interrogation notes you have to begin with and I'll take a look.'

'Thanks, I will. We have to release this guy in six hours if we can't nail him by then.'

'Well, Lisbon, you know what I always said. The time you have is the time it takes you to solve the case.'

She smiled and knew he was smiling too. 'Thanks, Patrick. I really appreciate it.'

He swallowed as she said his first name. Even after three months together she had used it rarely with him and normally saved it to when she was in bed with him. What the hell was she doing to him? He paused and replied, 'Anything for you, Lisbon.'


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 - Hunches

Lisbon hung up the phone and looked down. Her heart was still racing. Why had she called him Patrick? She hadn't meant to, it just came out instinctively. She rolled her eyes and went to get the case files.

Jane bounded back into the diner and interrupted Steph as she was pouring coffee out to a customer, 'You have a fax machine, here, right?'

She looked at him blankly.

He rolled his eyes. 'Fax machine, I need the number. It's urgent.'

She put the coffee pot down and found the number, handing it over to him. She had never seen him this animated. 'What's happened, who's faxing you?'

'FBI' he replied, as he texted the number on the phone. He looked back up at her. 'Where is it?'

'In the back.'

Before she could ask him anything further he ran to find it.

He arrived back fifteen minutes later with wads of paper in his hands. He looked at her and said, 'I'll need a pot of tea, I'll be sitting over there', motioning to a nearby table. He grabbed the pen she kept behind her ear and sat down, flipping over the pages.

It was a busy morning so she didn't have time to find out exactly what the story was until an hour later. He had even ignored her when she brought the tea over, so engrossed was he in the papers spread out in front of him.

When the customers finally thinned out she walked over to the table and stood behind him, eyeing the documents.

He said, as he circled some information with his pen, 'You're not supposed to be looking at this, it's a current case and it's highly confidential.'

'Well, you don't work for the FBI either anymore so shouldn't the same apply to you?'

He smiled and shrugged. 'Good point, but she...they are at a loose end so thought I might be able to help.'

'Really?' The note of surprise in her voice made him turn around to look at her.

'What? Did you think I made up the fact that I used to work for the feds?'

'No, well, at the beginning I did. But you haven't worked there for months, aren't there other people who can do what you used to do, whatever the hell that was?'

Jane smiled and returned to his papers. 'I need more tea.'

'Yes, sir' she replied sarcastically.

She watched as she saw him look at something then pick up a glass and use the bottom of it to see something in one of the photographs more clearly. He smiled as he checked another page. He rested back in the chair and was deep in thought as she brought him his tea.

'I'm guessing you've made a breakthrough?'

'Hopefully' he replied, picking up a photograph from the table and walked into the back to speak to Rico.

'I'll be right back', he replied smiling, striding back and went outside to make a phone call.

Steph shook her head and went into the kitchen. 'What did he want?'

Rico shrugged. 'He showed me a photo of Finnegan's Wake. Wanted me to double check to see if I recognised the cover like he had.'

'Of what?'

Rico sighed, putting some bacon into a pan, 'It's a book by James Joyce. The author and poet. You should try reading something more than Law books.'

'Ah...why did he ask about it?'

'I don't know. None of my business. He's got a bee in his bonnet, though, never seen him move so quickly since I've known him.'

* * *

Lisbon picked up his call on the first ring.

'Hey there, that was fast, did you find something already?'

'Do you remember Gary Filo?' he asked.

She thought for a second and then replied, 'Sure. That was the case the rest of us worked on when you were with Agent Darcy that time. He had killed his employee but we couldn't get him to admit to anything.'

'Yes, it was. And if you recall, I had to solve the case with Darcy and the Filo one too all on my own anyway, think I accomplished it in around two seconds flat when I came back to the office.'

She rolled her eyes but couldn't help a smile creep across her face. There he was, still as arrogant as ever.

'What's your point?'

He smiled as he imagined her pout as the words came out and a flutter in his chest almost made him lose his train of thought for a second.

'Well, Lisbon, remember the advice I gave you then? He was a know it all, always thought he was right about everything. From what I've read in your notes on Fletcher, he seems like the same type of character, correct?'

'Um...Yes, I guess so.'

'So, use the same tactic I used on Filo.'

'What? Annoy him so much he punches me on the nose?'

Jane rolled his eyes. 'No, not that one, the one I used when I quoted Shakespeare incorrectly to him. He couldn't help but correct me which allowed us more time to get the confession from him in the end.'

He went on to explain exactly what she should say to Fletcher to make him crack. He had read in the notes that Fletcher had denied knowing anything about the girl's studies. From the evidence collected a paperback version of The Ulysses by James Joyce was found in her bag. From the blurry photograph of the crime scene he had noticed a book peaking out of the corner of the image. It was in hardback and she wasn't from a wealthy family, making it unlikely she would have purchased it herself. It looked new and perceived he had bought it for her, a ploy to try to make her more malleable, he assumed. Something had evidently gone wrong with his plan to seduce her. He was sure with a little prodding and a few misplaced words he would tie himself up before long.

After he finished there was silence on the other end.

'Lisbon, you still there?'

He heard a sigh and she replied, 'You're still so good at this, Jane. Why don't you think about going back to work as a consultant? I know L.A. would love to have you back after the Mancini case. Aren't you bored?'

He smiled, noting she had said L.A. and not Austin. 'Not all of us need to be consumed by work every second of the day, Lisbon. I'm happy enough just to be on the sidelines for a while.'

'I never thought I'd hear the great Patrick Jane not wanting to show off his great powers of deduction!'

'Maybe I've changed, then.'

The words hung in the air for a while until Lisbon said, 'Okay, and thanks for your help. I'll see if this works.'

'Well, if it doesn't you could always go to Plan B but if you do I'd appreciate it if Cho took care of it instead of you.'

'And what's Plan B?'

'Get him to punch Cho in the nose, of course. That would buy you a little more time.'

Lisbon laughed. 'That's a little chauvinistic, isn't it? You think I couldn't take a punch?'

'I know you could. I just wouldn't want you to. I may feel inclined to come back to Austin to punch him right back.'

'What are you, some kind of shining knight that needs to defend my honour?'

'You and I both know I'm far from that, Teresa.'

* * *

Jane went back into the diner and gathered up the papers from the table. It was quiet by this stage as Steph eyed him from behind the counter.

He sat back in his usual seat and stared back at her.

'I guess you're not going to tell me what all that was about then?'

He shook his head. 'About the case, no, you're better off not knowing.'

'Well, I never thought I'd see you so excited. You're so laid back you're almost horizontal most of the time.'

He smiled back as she fetched him more tea and a slice of pie. 'I told you I was good at what I used to do. I am capable of working when I want to, you know.'

Putting the pie down, she said, 'So I see. But you didn't help because the FBI wanted you to. You did it because Lisbon asked you to.'

He shrugged, realising she had heard him say 'she' before changing it to 'they' earlier on. 'Well, she works for the FBI so it's the same thing.'

'You know it's not. So, how was she?'

He thought for a second. 'Good, I think. Stressed from this case but that's nothing new.'

'You didn't talk about anything else but the case?'

'Not really.'

'Well, at least she wasn't drunk this time. I'd say that was progress.'

He smiled and shrugged.

'Did you make any plans to meet up?'

'No, I kind of broached the subject but she didn't go for it, turned it into a joke. Guess she's not ready yet. Maybe I'm kidding myself. Maybe she'll never be ready. I have to accept that possibility.'

'Well, it's her loss if that's the case.'

'Jesus, I must look particularly pitiful today for you to give me any sympathy. Now, I've worked hard enough for the day, I'm going to take a nap on the boat.'

* * *

Cho and Lisbon sat around her desk, completing their notes. Jane's hunch had worked and they had been able to get enough out of Fletcher to warrant a search of his financial records. Wylie had found that he had purchased the copy of Finnegan's Wake through his credit card along with some other highly questionable DVDs and internet rentals related to the grooming of teenage girls. His wife had initially given him an alibi but withdrew it as she saw the evidence mounting against him.

Abbott came over to them and said, 'Great work today, guys. He's asked for his lawyer, wants to make a deal.'

'You're not going to accept it, are you?' Lisbon asked.

'Well, he may not get the death penalty but it won't be much less than that.'

'Good' Cho replied.

Abbott looked at them both again and asked, 'What made you come up with that idea? I never thought either of you would have read much of James Joyce?'

Cho and Lisbon exchanged glances and Lisbon replied, 'It wasn't our hunch, it was Jane's.'

Abbott's eyes widened. 'You've been in contact with him since he left, Teresa?'

She looked away and moved something on her desk. 'Just a couple of times. We were at a dead end and I thought he might be able to help.'

'Well, I'm glad he's not forgotten what he's so good at. Is he still in California?'

'Yes, he has a boat in San Mateo.'

'Really? Well, that's interesting, isn't it? Not too far from where you're going to be this time next week.'

Lisbon shifted uncomfortably in her seat as a smile encased Abbott's face and he walked towards the elevator. He stopped suddenly and said, 'Someone should thank him for his assistance on this case, don't you think?' before resuming his walk.

Cho looked at her. 'I'm not calling him.'

Lisbon sighed. 'Do you think I've lost my mind, initiating contact with him again, after everything he put me through?'

'None of my business.'

'Thanks, that's a great help, Kimball.'

Cho got up to leave and said, 'I don't think you're nuts. What you've both been doing over the past few months has been, though.'

* * *

Lisbon looked around the empty office and at the empty couch behind her. She thought that it would have been removed when Jane left but still it sat there. She had never sat on it since he left and she stood up and moved her fingers over the leather. She eased herself into its soft cushions and took out her phone.

Jane was eating a sandwich as the phone rang. He smiled, knowing who it was before he looked at it.

'Hey, Lisbon. Twice in one day. I'm honoured. I'm guessing my hunch paid off?'

'Hey, Jane. Yes, it did. I just wanted to call and thank you for your help.'

'No problem at all. Lisbon?'

'Yes?'

'Can I ask you a question and get a truthful answer from you?'

'It's not me who has trouble with being truthful, Jane', she replied, a tinge of bitterness in her voice.

Jane nodded. 'Fair enough. This should be easy then. Am I ever going to see you again? I think it's time we sat down and talked. I have a lot to say to you that I don't want to say over the phone. Whether you want to listen or not will be up to you but I'd like to meet up in any case. I'm not pushing you or demanding it and if you tell me you're not ready for another six months, a year or never that's okay. I'd just rather know.'

Lisbon listened to his words. She knew instinctively there was no trick to them, no scheme in his mind and no desperation or guile in his voice. He had spoken honestly and was willing to accept whatever she had to say in return.

'Lisbon?'

She was deep in her own thoughts as she heard his voice again.

'Sorry, Jane. I'm thinking.'

'That's okay. If you can't answer now it's all right. Call me when you're ready, one way or the other.'

'I'm coming out to California next week.' She blurted out the words quickly before her brain thought anymore.

'You are? What for? Whereabouts?'

'It's a long story. I...maybe I could visit you, if you'd like.'

'Of course I'd like', he answered, his heart brimming with the thought.

'Okay, I'll maybe give you a call when I get there, see what time and day suits you.' The words came rambling out of their own accord and she felt her stomach lurch.

'Any time or any day suits me, Teresa. I don't exactly make many plans.'

'Okay.' Her mind was spinning and she could hardly breathe.

'Teresa?'

'Yes?'

'Thank you.'


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: No Jane in this chapter but he'll be back in the next.**

* * *

Chapter 21 - Memories

On Lisbon's last day there were presents and tears and the whole team went out that evening to wish her well. She had a few too many shots of tequila thanks to Abbott and poor Wylie had fallen asleep on the table as he tried to keep up. Cho had hugged her and re-introduced her to his girlfriend Adele, the surgeon who had saved her life a few months earlier. She even thought she saw a tear in his eye. Maybe Cho was finally getting soft. Fischer and Tim were as close as ever as they flirted outrageously with each other.

'Have you decided on what to do with your house yet?' Tim asked when Fischer was at the bar.

'I'm going to sell it. It's a big step and one I couldn't make before but it's time. Time to move on.'

'With Jane?'

Lisbon shrugged as she took a sip of beer. 'I have literally no idea.'

Tim smiled and decided to change the subject. 'I'm glad you said that you want to sell the house. I'd like to buy it.' Fischer sidled up to them as he nodded to her and he added, 'Actually, we'd like to buy it, we'll give you a fair price and would save on the realtor fees.'

Lisbon grinned. 'Wow, that's a big step! Congratulations, I'm so happy for you both.' She stood up to give them a hug, a tear slipping down her cheek. 'I'd love you to buy it, it's a great house.'

* * *

Lisbon looked round her living room one last time. Everything had been labelled and was due to be shipped over the next few days. She touched one of the boxes lightly, the one that contained Jane's letters and their photographs together. She had never thought of herself as a sentimental person but that arrogant loveable annoying fool had somehow turned her into one, at least some of the time. Maybe it wasn't just Cho who was getting soft.

As she got on the plane she couldn't help but think back to the flight in Miami. That feeling was nothing new. Every time she took a plane she thought of that moment. This time she wasn't running away from him, though, she was running back to him. Despite what she had said on the phone to him, she still wasn't sure she was ready to face him.

* * *

As the plane descended she took in the sight in front of her. This city had so many memories for her. Some good but so many bad ones too and a shiver ran down her spine. It had been over three years since she had been here. She looked up at the sign as she made her way through the airport. It read, 'Welcome to Sacramento.'

She hired a car and drove to the apartment she had rented temporarily until she found somewhere bigger to live and her house sale had gone through. She knew she was going to be so busy with work she probably wouldn't see much of it in any case. After a fitful night's sleep she got up early the next morning and went for a run. She wasn't due to be in the office until after the weekend but couldn't resist a visit before then so got changed and drove the familiar route.

* * *

She parked her car and looked at the old CBI Headquarters building in front of her. She couldn't help but smile. She had loved this old building and always preferred it to the coldness of the Austin office. She hoped it hadn't changed too much on the inside. She remembered the conversation with Abbott a few weeks before.

'_Agent Lisbon, take a seat.'_

'_Yes, boss?'_

'_I have a job offer for you.'_

'_I thought I already had a job.'_

'_Very amusing. Do you remember your old headquarters at CBI?'_

'_Of course I do.'_

'_Well, it's being re-opened as an FBI field office in around a month's time.'_

'_Really?_

'_Yes. I've been asked to ask you if you wanted to run a Serious Crimes team from there. You did it before at CBI so you're the obvious choice. You'll also need to help with the set up of the new office. It hasn't been used since...'_

'_Since _you _shut it down?' _

'_Precisely. So are you interested?'_

She had been given a set of keys and got into the elevator. Her mind went back to all the times she and Jane rode in it, all the bickering and all the flirting, all the times he had left her on the other side of the door, not knowing if she would ever see him again. As she arrived at her floor her eyes looked up at the stairs to the attic. She wasn't ready to face those particular memories just yet so walked into the bullpen instead. It was still strange being the only one here. Everything was as she remembered it. The partition walls had been removed but the offices remained, a smattering of plastic chairs stood against the walls, dust thick on them. The last few weeks here had been truly terrible. She remembered Abbott questioning her incessantly about Red John and The Blake Association. Red John was dead but Jane had left too, leaving a gap in her heart she never thought she could fill. The truth was she never did fill it until he came back and they finally admitted their feelings. Then he ripped her heart apart all over again. She sighed and looked at her office door. It still had her name on it and it made her smile. She walked inside and more memories overwhelmed her. Playing poker with Jane for gummy dinosaurs, him needling her about her paperwork, him lying on the couch he bought her as they chattered away into the night. Shouting and throwing things at him when he decided to do things his way without telling her. Buying her that damn pony and seeing her in her bridesmaid's outfit. She laughed out loud as she remembered him calling her 'an angry little princess.' The hug he gave her and telling her he loved her before pretending to shoot her and then taking it back later. Telling her about his nervous breakdown, the first time she had seen true honesty in him. She wondered if that was when she had begun to fall in love with him. She sighed again and walked around the other offices, memories of him bursting into interrogation rooms and telling suspects to go, the memory of Lorelei telling her that she and Jane were lovers, the flirting with Erika Flynn.

She walked back into the hallway and exhaled deeply, taking the stairs to the attic. She pulled the door away and swallowed. Jane's old desk still sat where it always did. Obviously it wasn't worth enough for the FBI to sell it or reuse it. She walked up to it and saw a tea stained circle a saucer would have made and touched it. She looked around the room. These were the worst times for her as his hunt came to an end, concealing himself away from everyone and preparing himself for his final battle. He had won in the end she supposed but how many years of his life did Red John take from him? When he had left her after she was shot she couldn't help but think that, even dead, Red John was still winning in his own way. What kind of a victory had it really been? She didn't believe in ghosts but this room still affected her and she shivered, coming back down the stairs.

She walked over to where Jane's old couch would have been and dusted off a plastic chair. She sat down and looked at her phone. She had told him she would call and listen to what he had to say. She scrolled down to his name and looked blankly at the screen.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Wow, over 250 reviews and 100 followers, thank you so much!  
**

* * *

Chapter 22 - Miscommunication

'You know, I think I could pass the bar myself after all this', Jane sighed as he read the text book in front of him.

Steph was sitting on the top deck beside him with her eyes closed, more interested in topping up her tan than studying at the moment. 'I'd like to see you try, you can't just flimflam your way around in court.'

Jane chuckled as he read the text. 'I've flimflammed my way in court a few times, I'll have you know. Worked out pretty well for me. Though once I had to pay $16,000 in fines.'

'Why does nothing you say surprise me anymore?'

'Here, enough sunbathing, your turn' he replied, getting up and dropped the book in her lap. 'I'll go get us some drinks.'

As he prepared the iced tea in the kitchen below his phone rang on the table beside Steph.

'Phone', she shouted, her eyes still closed.

'Take a message, will you? It's probably that woman who picked up the flyer this morning, she said she'd ring this afternoon. And be professional and polite!'

Steph reached over for the phone and answered it, her eyes still tightly closed and the book still in her lap. She remembered the woman, too much make up and a gleam in her eye. It wasn't just a boat trip she was after from Patrick Jane.

'Good afternoon, Patrick Jane Enterprises, how may I help you?' The flyer only had his phone number and first name on it but she was feeling playful.

Lisbon was about to speak and then stopped suddenly. A woman had just answered Jane's phone. Her heart stopped. What the hell? A million thoughts ran through her head. He had said he had a lot of things to say to her, she had assumed it was about their future. What if it was about this mysterious woman instead? Logically that couldn't be true, she told herself. His tone had been soft with her when they had talked, she was sure he still cared. But he was a professional liar and she had heard him use that soft tone on murderers. She knew she was thinking irrationally but couldn't seem to stop herself. The woman's voice halted her thoughts.

'Hello, you still there?'

Lisbon analysed the voice. It sounded...young, like early twenties young. She exhaled deeply; there was only one way to find out what was happening.

'Hello, yes, I'm still here. Sorry about that. I was...I was just sipping some coffee.' She rolled her eyes. Why had she just said that?

She continued, 'I wanted to speak to Ja-. I wanted to speak to Patrick, is he available?' Lisbon used the best professional tone she could muster.

Steph decided to warn off this floozy lightly. He was vulnerable and lonely and didn't want him to do something he would surely regret or be embarrassed by this woman's advances.

'I'm sorry. Afraid he's a little tied up at the moment. Can I take a message?' She tried her best flirty tone, laughing as she spoke the words. That ought to be enough, she thought.

Lisbon's eyes widened. There was no mistaking that tone. 'Tell him Teresa Lisbon rang. If he's not too busy have him ring me.' She was about to end the call abruptly when she heard the woman say, 'Did you just say Lisbon?'

'Yes, that's right.' Lisbon's tone was haughty and she had began to pace around the office.

'Oh shit, hang on a minute. Please. Don't hang up.'

Steph looked at the name on the phone and swung out of the seat, the text book falling to the floor with a loud thud.

Jane shouted up from the kitchen, 'Jeez, keep it down up there, will you?'

He looked up to see Steph running into the kitchen, the phone in her hand. He glanced at her and went back to preparing the tea. 'I'm almost finished with the tea. Hang on. Can't you even take a message?' he sighed.

She held the phone up to him and pointed to the screen. The sun was glaring through the room so he couldn't make out the name or number until he came closer to her, rolling his eyes. He saw it then and took it off her immediately. She stood for a second with what appeared to be a look of contrition on her face. He discounted it for now and spoke into the phone instead.

'Hey, Lisbon, how are you? I'm hoping you're in California? Can you just hold on a second, please?'

Steph stood looking at him and he glared at her, motioning for her to go back upstairs. 'Upstairs, now' he ordered quietly, giving her another glare. She finally got the message and retreated.

'Sorry, Lisbon. So, you're here, are you, nearby I hope?'

Lisbon hadn't heard the full conversation between the two of them but she knew he was making them both tea. Somehow even the thought of him making tea for someone else filled her with a pang of jealousy. Since when was she this territorial? Especially for a man she had told to move on. And the girl knew about her, obviously. So it was more than a casual acquaintance.

'Lisbon, you still there?'

She rolled her eyes, she really had to start analysing phone conversations after having them instead of during them.

'Yes, I'm here. Sorry to drag you away from whatever you were doing' she replied bluntly.

He picked up the anger in her tone. Maybe she was having a bad day. 'Nothing's more important than talking to you, Teresa.'

His words came out smoothly and she wanted to throttle him.

'So, you still want to meet up?'

'Of course I do. I'm still dying to know what brings you back to California. Is it just a visit or something more permanent?' She was definitely having a bad day. Maybe someone had asked her to be a bridesmaid again.

'We'll get to that when I see you. Does tomorrow suit you?'

'Of course. Lisbon, are you all right?'

'Fine. Why wouldn't I be? Any reason you can think of?'

So she wasn't just having a bad day, she was angry at him. For once in his life he hadn't done anything to make her feel like that.

'Um, well, no, actually.'

He heard a sound that sounded like 'Hrrmppph' and then she said, 'No, of course you can't. I'll be by tomorrow to see you. Grace told me where you are. I should be there around 10am, just in case you need to clear some things from...your calendar.'

Jane's brow furrowed. 'Okay, great. Ter-'

He looked down to see she had hung up before he had time to question her further. Then it hit him and he took the stairs two at a time back to the top deck.

'What the hell did you say to her? Look, I know I let you play me for a fool sometimes but not with this, Steph, not with her. I thought you respected me more than that at least!'

It was the first time she had ever seen him angry and just sat there with her mouth open for a moment.

He was still glaring at her when she replied, 'I promise I didn't mean to do anything, Patrick. I thought she was that slutty woman from the diner earlier like you said. I didn't want you to maybe do something with her that you'd regret. So I...'

He couldn't believe she thought he would be that stupid, sometimes he forgot how young she was and how little she really knew him. He regained his composure but still stared at her. He said quietly, 'So...you what?'

'I kind of pretended to be your girlfriend.'

He put his hands to his face as she continued, 'I swear I didn't say much, just that you were tied up and laughed a little. Patrick, if I'd known it was Lisbon I wouldn't have done it. You do believe me, right?'

He moved his hands away and nodded. 'Yes, I believe you. I'm sorry for shouting at you.'

'Is she still coming to see you? If so, I'll talk to her, sort it out, I promise' she said quietly.

After a moment, to her surprise his lips curled into a smile and then a grin. 'Oh, yes. She's coming all right. Tomorrow morning. In fact, I think you did me a favour in a way.'

She began to smile back. 'How's that?'

'Well, if I wasn't sure how she still felt about me I certainly do now. She was jealous. Really jealous. Now I know there's still hope.'

* * *

**A/N: Okay, enough teasing this out. They come face to face again in the next chapter!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 – Strawberries and Teasing

'It's 9.13, three minutes since you last checked it' Steph said as he glanced at his watch then pushed his plate away.

Jane looked around the diner, fidgeting with his hands constantly.

'Hope I never fall in love, you've turned into a nervous wreck' she laughed.

He looked at her and smiled, calming himself down. 'I hope I'm there when you do so I can wipe that smirk off your face.'

She laughed back. 'Some chance.'

After a minute he said, 'Put some strawberries into one of those plastic containers, will you?'

'Why?'

'Ah...To eat them, why else?'

She shrugged and did as he asked, handing the box over to him.

'Okay, I'm off, wish me luck.'

She was about to say something as he got off the stool but he added instead, 'Do me a favour. Don't interrupt us, okay? I know more than anyone what it's like to be curious but, for once, please keep your nose out. No surprise visits to get a look at her or embarrass me, all right?'

'I wouldn't have!'

He raised his eyebrows and looked down at her.

She shifted on her feet, looking away and replied, 'Fine. I'll leave you to it. But call me later to tell me how it goes.'

* * *

He walked back to the boat and stopped in his tracks. She was early. He could only see her from the side as she looked at his boat. He saw the corners of her mouth curl up into a slight smile as she read its name. He studied her from a distance before coming any closer. She was wearing white jeans and an emerald green sleeveless top, her jacket and bag hanging over the side of one arm. He allowed his eyes to capture every curve of her body, his mind already fantasising about undoing each of the tiny buttons of her top. He saw her cross gleam in the sunlight as she moved slightly towards the boat, trying to take a peek inside from the decking she stood on. Her hair was still its chestnut colour but was longer than the last time he had seen her and flecks of its different shades glinted in the sunlight as she moved.

He could feel his heart pumping in his chest and readied himself down before moving towards her. She heard the approach and turned around to him, the emerald in her eyes catching him off guard for a second and he stopped a few feet from her.

'Hey' he said. 'You came.'

She regarded him from head to toe. God, he looked amazing. Grace's description didn't do him justice. His hair was the lightest blond she had ever seen it, his curls still somehow sitting perfectly in place although she knew he never used a hair product on them. His complexion was a light golden brown that made the smile he was giving her even more white than usual. The casual white shirt fell loosely over the light blue jeans he wore and was unbuttoned to the top of his chest, allowing her to catch a glimpse of the tanned skin beneath.

'Thank you. I'm glad you approve of the new look' he said, still smiling, pulling her out of her trance.

She looked up at him and opened her mouth, knowing there was no point in denying the appreciation of his form in her eyes. She turned back to the boat and looked at the name again as he moved forward to stand beside her to look at it too as she tried to collect her thoughts again.

'Why'd you pick that name?' she uttered, the first words she had said to him. She knew the answer but was still trying to compose herself after seeing him again and it was the first thing that sprung to her mind.

He shrugged. 'Why do you think? It was lucky for me once, I figured it might be lucky for the boat too.'

She nodded as they looked at the letters 'The 12B' written on the side.

He glanced at her and said, 'So, do you want to come aboard?'

'Okay, I guess so.'

He went to take her hand to help her on but she said, 'I'm fine, Jane. I can manage to get on a boat by myself.'

He smiled, motioning for her to go first. She had obviously got over the sight of him and had remembered that she was supposed to be angry with him instead. He didn't mind as it gave him an ideal view of the back of her white jeans as she climbed the stairs to go on board.

She turned around quickly once on deck and he looked up at her face quickly. A slight smile came to her face. He had been busted looking at her backside. After all the years he had done it without her noticing he supposed it was only a matter of time before he was caught on. He gave her a smile of acknowledgement and motioned for her to sit down on the lower deck, the shade there better for Lisbon's pale skin.

She sat down and he placed the strawberries on the small table that sat in front of her.

'What are those for?' she asked, looking up at him. 'You think strawberries are enough to fix everything this time?' She raised her eyebrows.

He couldn't help but grin back. 'What do you mean, they're not? I'm truly surprised, Lisbon. I thought that's all it would take. Well, there goes my big plan.'

She let out a laugh in spite of herself that made him smile more.

'I just thought they would break the ice. That and I've always loved seeing you eat them.' A sensual tone was in his voice as he said the last sentence, his eyes piercing hers.

A blush came to her cheeks as she remembered an afternoon where he fed them to her when they were in bed. She looked away from him quickly and said, 'Nice boat.'

He went into the kitchen and called back to her, 'Thanks.'

'I'm guessing you won it in poker or something like that, right?'

He smiled from the kitchen as he poured two glasses of iced tea for them. He came back out and placed them on the table, sitting down beside her. 'I sometimes forget how well you know me. Hope this is okay, it's iced tea.'

She looked at the tea and remembered the conversation from the day before. 'I thought I did, I'm not so sure anymore' she said brusquely.

He nodded and waited for the question.

'So, who was...who was that I was speaking to yesterday?'

He smiled as he took a sip of his tea. 'Sorry? Oh, right. Her name's Steph.' He took another sip and looked around him smiling.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. She was obviously going to have to drag the information out of him. 'And she is...?'

He looked back at her, his expression calm, 'A friend of mine.'

'A friend?'

'Yes, that's correct. You have them Lisbon, aren't I allowed one too?'

The smug look in his face made her want to punch him on the nose.

'So, how did you meet this _friend _of yours?'

'Oh, she works at the diner up the road. You probably passed it on your way here. She waitresses there.'

'She's a waitress?'

'Are you being judgemental, Lisbon? What makes you think I couldn't be friends with a waitress?'

Lisbon shook her head and replied, 'Nothing. I just...I just can't imagine what you would have in common with her, that's all.'

'Oh, you know me. I get on with people from all walks of life.'

'Yeah, since when? Practically every person you meet wants to punch you on the nose.'

'Well, not every single person, obviously. And I hope you're excluding yourself from that list.'

'I wouldn't bet on it. I've done it before if you recall.'

He smiled over at her. He may well have another punch on the nose after this conversation but teasing her like this again made it worth the risk. He knew he deserved it so couldn't blame her if it turned out that way but couldn't help allowing himself to continue.

'Well, she's not just a waitress. She also studies Law at Stanford.'

Her eyes widened and she glared at him. 'She's at college?'

'Mmm, she is. Before you ask she's twenty two, due to finish shortly. But don't let her age fool you, believe me she's wise beyond her years, Lisbon. She's certainly taught me a thing or two.'

He looked at her and saw her mouth wide open and a horrified expression on her face. He leaned back on the cushions behind him and asked warmly, 'What is it, Lisbon? You seem surprised about something?'

She closed her mouth and took in the information. She had begun to curl her hand into a fist when she heard him laugh.

'What the hell is so funny?'

'You are! There's nothing going on between me and Steph. Not in that way, not at all. Do you really think I'm the type of person to run after a twenty year old?'

Lisbon uncurled her fist and replied, 'How would I know? You have the fancy boat. For all I knew a trophy girlfriend was next on the list!'

He was still chuckling. 'Oh, you thought I was going through a mid-life crisis, was that it?'

'What else was I supposed to think? I thought you'd lost what little sense you had left!'

'I'm sorry, Teresa. I couldn't help but tease you a little when I found out what she said to you yesterday. I have to say, though, you showed great restraint. I was sure I was about to get another punch on the nose.'

Lisbon leaned back into the cushions and picked up her tea. Through tight lips, she replied, 'The day is still young, Jane.'


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 - Longing

Jane explained to Lisbon how Steph got the wrong end of the stick the day before and how she was trying to protect him from the woman in the diner. Lisbon listened throughout and shook her head afterwards.

'Same old Jane, still playing mind games with me, huh?'

'It was just a little teasing, Lisbon. I couldn't resist, especially when I saw how jealous you were.'

'I was not jealous!' she shrieked.

He smiled at her and said quietly, 'Whoa, high voice.'

She finally smiled back at his way of calling her out when she lied to him and shook her head again.

'No more lies, Jane.'

'Actually, I didn't lie to you. Everything I told you about Steph is the truth. She is my friend. She does work in the diner. She does go to Stanford. She is wise beyond her years, well at least some of the time anyway. I'd like you to meet her, if...if you come back here, that is. You'd like her, I think.'

Lisbon glanced back at him. 'We'll see. She must be something for Patrick Jane to open up to so quickly. It took me years to get any kind of honesty out of you.'

'I think by the time I met her I was ready to be more truthful in general but you're right, she does have a knack of getting me to open up. But that doesn't mean she's not a pain in the ass sometimes too. She doesn't know when to let things drop and can't seem to stop interfering in my life or take any chance to embarrass me.'

'Wow, wonder who that reminds me of' Lisbon replied, rolling her eyes. 'There's really nothing going on with her?'

'No. Not like that. You couldn't be further from the truth. You'll understand when you meet her.'

Lisbon nodded, finally accepting that there was nothing of a romantic nature going on between them but still found the idea of Jane hanging around with a college girl strange to say the least.

'Speaking of friends, how about handsome? Is he still on the scene?'

'I'm sure you remember his name is Tim. And yes, he is. Jane, he was always just a friend, still is.'

Jane nodded, exhaling a little.

'So, are you going to tell me why you're back in California? Apart from visiting me, of course, this would be reason enough, naturally.'

Lisbon rolled her eyes before replying. 'I have a new job.'

'Here in California? Really, where?'

'Remember the CBI building in Sacramento?'

'Of course, I worked there for ten years.'

'Well, I wouldn't say you worked there all that time but I guess you were in the building on and off for ten years, I'll give you that.'

They smiled at each other before Lisbon continued.

'Well, they're reopening it as a FBI field office. I'm going to be running a Serious Crimes Team out of there.'

Jane's eyes widened. 'Really? That's wonderful news, Lisbon.'

Before she knew it Jane encased her in a hug, the first physical contact with each other since she had arrived. She felt his warm breath in her hair and his arms felt strong as they reached around her back. Did she detect muscles that hadn't been there before? Maybe he was exercising more. The hug continued and she felt her breath deepen as she smelt the familiar shampoo as her face touched his hair.

He hadn't meant to hug her, or at least not yet. But when he heard she was only going to be a couple of hours drive away from him and that she had gotten a job she richly deserved he couldn't help himself. He breathed in her wonderful scent and closed his eyes, allowing his fingers to touch a few strands of her hair. He knew the hug should have ended but they both clung on and he felt her heart race a little quicker and her breath become more ragged. He slowly released her and looked into her eyes, his eyes moving to her lips that were now slightly parted.

When he drew away his arms into a soft embrace and looked into her eyes she knew she was in trouble. She was never able to resist the intensity of the stare he was giving her. But for the first time she saw uncertainty in his eyes too. Was he actually nervous about kissing her?

He pulled away fully and took a sip of his iced tea, looking around him once again. He had to do this the right away, he told himself. They couldn't get carried away until they talked properly although the primal urge within him was telling him to pin her back on the cushions and to just make love to her there and then and deal with the consequences later.

'I'm really happy for you, Teresa, you deserve it. It should never have been taken away from you in the first place.'

Lisbon settled back into the cushions, taking a sip of the tea herself as they sat in silence for a few moments. Jane looked over at her, the moment of sexual tension between them gone for now.

'What about the house?' Jane asked. She hadn't sold it when she was planning on moving to D.C. and wanted to find out if her moving to California was something she felt more ready to do permanently.

'I've decided to sell it. In fact, Tim's buying it.'

'He is?'

'Yep, sale should be through in a few weeks.' She paused and added, 'He's not buying it alone. Fischer's buying it with him.'

'What? Why?'

Lisbon chuckled back. 'Why do you think?'

He thought then began to smile. 'He and Fischer are...?'

'Yes, they couldn't keep their hands off each other since the day I introduced them.'

Jane grinned. 'So as well as being a super talented FBI agent, you've added matchmaking to your list of skills. Is there no end to your talents? What are you trying to do, compete with Abbott?'

They looked at each other as they remembered Abbott's attempts to get them together.

Jane shrugged. 'Well, good for them. How about Cho, you got him all set too?'

Lisbon began to smile.

'You're kidding me!'

'No. Well, I didn't set him up or anything like that but if it weren't for me they wouldn't have met. Let's put it that way. He's dating the surgeon that operated on me when I got shot.'

Jane nodded. The mention of that time was still hard for him to think about. 'Oh...I can't really remember her to be honest. I was in a pretty bad state back then.'

'I remember.'

Silence lapsed between them until Jane said quietly, 'Why can other people make things work between them and we can't seem to manage it?'

Lisbon shrugged. 'Maybe it's because it's not meant to be, Jane. Ever considered that?'

'Of course I have but I've discounted it, Teresa. You have to admit we can't seem to leave each other's lives no matter how we try. Surely that must mean something?'

'Maybe we just like torturing ourselves.'

He watched as her eyes fell to the floor before raising her head to speak again.

'I was there yesterday, at CBI, looking around the place.'

'That's where you rang me from?'

She nodded. 'Yes. It was so weird to be back there, Jane. There were so many memories all hitting me at once. It was pretty overwhelming.'

He watched her as she glanced into the distance, reliving some of them. 'I'll bet. We had some good times there, didn't we?' he said quietly.

She smiled and nodded again, still facing forward. 'Yes, we did.' She turned around to him and added, 'And some pretty bad ones too.'

He nodded. 'Can't deny that either.'

'You know what was strange though, it was mostly the good ones that I remembered.'

'I hope I was in some of those.'

She smiled over at him, raising her eyebrows. 'You know perfectly well you were in pretty much all of the good ones.'

He looked at her seriously. 'Unfortunately, I was in most of the bad ones too, though, eh?'

She shrugged and rummaged in her bag, finding a piece of white card. She glanced at it and handed it over to him.

'I found this in one of the conference rooms. It must have been wedged under some skirting board and gotten loose when they removed the furniture. I thought you might like it.'

He looked at the card in his hand. A picture of a top hat and cane looked back at him.

'My first case' he whispered, smiling. He kept looking at it until the smile vanished, pain taking over it instead.

'Jane, what is it? I didn't bring it here to upset you. I thought you'd get a kick out of seeing it again.'

He nodded and he swallowed, looking at her now. 'I did. It's just...It's just that we wasted so much time, Teresa. _I_ wasted so much time. I don't want to waste anymore. I want to fix this. I want to fix us. I just hope you find it in your heart to hear me out.'

Before he had time to collect his thoughts and begin to say what he had learned about himself over the past few months and offer it up to her to decide if it was worth giving him another shot she grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him eagerly.

He felt her lips tighten on his and he pulled away for a second, shocked at the sudden reaction from her.

'So, let's not waste anymore time' she whispered, her lips just a few millimetres from his before kissing him again. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, parting his lips so her tongue found its way inside his mouth, its gentle thrusts making him push his lips further onto hers. She gasped as he began to taste the inside of her mouth with his own tongue before Jane finally pulled apart from her.

'Teresa, we can't do this. As much as I want to. As much as we both want to. You have _no _idea how much I want this to carry on but we need to talk. You were right about that in Austin. Sex won't solve our problems.'

She looked at him and bit her lip, considering his argument.

'You're right, it won't. But since when do we do what's right for us?'

She pushed herself onto him again, her hands ruffling through his hair and pulled him back towards her. Her lips were on him again and he felt her soft breasts against his chest and he let out a low moan. It wasn't that Lisbon hadn't initiated sex before but never so forcefully and that, along with his own longing, made him finally lose what little resolve he had left. He kissed her back, pushing her against the cushions and moved one of his hands to her cheek and caressed it softly, feeling her shiver at his touch. As his mouth made its way to her neck she whispered, 'Let's go to bed, Patrick.'

**A/N: Okay, so some of you may be surprised at Lisbon's reaction but it'll be explained in the next chapter.  
**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Goodness me! Over 300 reviews, I'm astounded but very grateful. Thank you for continuing to read, review and follow.**

**Warning: M rated material in the first section.**

* * *

Chapter 25 – Here we go again

As they reached the bedroom they both fell onto the bed, panting. Lisbon was on top of him in a second, pulling at the buttons of his shirt and kissing his chest as it was exposed. Jane's hands stroked her hair and he closed his eyes, savouring every touch of her on him.

'You have been working out' she giggled as she moved lower on his body.

'Glad you approve. It's just a little swimming, really.' He knew he was babbling but the quickness of how this had happened had caught him off guard. He felt her smile as she kissed his stomach and pulled her back up towards his face, knowing he would be incapable of any such action should she move further down his body.

He kissed her again, deeply, as his right hand cradled her head and his left circled her waist. All of a sudden he flipped her over onto her back, a little quicker than he used to. Maybe this swimming was making him stronger, after all. She laughed as she landed on the bed with a thud, her hands running through his hair and their mouths still fastened to each other. He moved his face away to look at her, pushing a tendril of hair away from her face. 'Are you sure about this, Teresa?'

She answered by pulling him back towards her and kissing him again. He took off his shirt and began to move his fingers slowly down her cheek and neck until he found the first button of her top. With one hand he undid it slowly, relishing in every moment as he undid the others whilst they continued kissing, each of them becoming more excited and breathless as their kisses became more frantic and more passionate. He felt her shift beneath him as he moved his leg across her thigh and rubbed his knee gently but firmly just below the zipper of her jeans. She broke away from the kiss and panted into his neck at this contact, her warm breath in his ear exciting him further as he moved his knee in small rotations. She whispered, 'Quickly, I can't wait much longer.' He finally finished with the buttons of her top and moved it aside and gazed at her breasts encased in an emerald lace bra.

'Is this new?' he said as his fingers ran down one of its straps slowly.

She pulled her head away from his neck to look at him with her eyebrows raised. 'Do you really want to talk about my underwear right now? Just remove it, will you?'

He grinned back. Lisbon was as impatient for an orgasm as she was in every other aspect of her life.

He kissed her lips gently and replied, 'As you wish.'

He pulled her slightly off the bed and removed her blouse and bra in a quick one-handed motion before placing her onto her back again. He looked at her breasts again and took one in his hand, his mouth and tongue licking and sucking on the nipple slowly as he felt her continue to writhe below him. He moved his knee away from her jeans and heard her gasp a little at the loss of contact as she was kissing his neck. He placed his other hand on the button of her jeans and opened it, pulling the zipper down and feeling lace at his fingertips. He really wanted to know if this was a matching set to the bra he had uncovered earlier but knew better than to push his luck and move his face away from her breast at this point. He moved his hand inside the lacy confines and smiled as she almost came immediately undone at his first touch. He moved the lace aside and placed his index finger gently inside her easily. She shuddered beneath him, her breathing ragged as she tried to stay in control. He moved it further in and he felt her clammy forehead hit his shoulder. Her moans came in small pants as he moved his finger deeper. He felt the contractions coming and bit on her nipple gently to arouse her further. The first wave of orgasm rushed through her at full force and she screamed out, her head falling back on the pillow and her hands gripping tightly to his hair. He pushed another finger inside and another wave ran through her. She pulled his face up and kissed him deeply as he continued to move his fingers inside of her, his movements slowing down and then speeding up again so she would have total release. He returned the kiss intensely as she began to relax, his tongue thrusting softly and then urgently, bringing her back up to the height of ecstasy again. As she recovered shaking on the bed he removed the rest of her clothes (noting that it was indeed a matching set of underwear) and lay down beside her again.

'What's keeping you?' she said, still a little breathless.

'Just enjoying the view for the moment' he replied, grinning. He always loved to see her like this, basking in the glow afterwards, with beads of sweat glistening all over her body. Making her feel this way was undoubtedly his favourite feeling in the world.

'Well, I'm not the only one who gets to be naked, Patrick Jane' she replied after a moment, as she noticed he was still clothed from the waist down.

He grinned back and jumped off the bed, discarding the rest of his clothes before jumping back on, obvious that he was still more than a little excited himself. 'Happy now?' he smiled, moving towards her.

Before much longer they were both more than happy and they lay beside each other with their hands interlaced. They made it under the covers and fell asleep with Jane's arm hanging over Lisbon's waist and his face buried in her neck.

* * *

Lisbon awoke to Jane's kisses trailing across her stomach. He reached her side and kissed the small scar from her gunshot wound gently. Even though she had not made a sound he somehow knew she was awake.

'Cho's lady friend certainly did a good job' he muttered from under the covers.

Lisbon smiled. 'Her name is Dr Andrews and yes, she did.'

'Mmm...I didn't get a good look at it earlier' he replied, coming back up and kissing her lightly on the lips before lying next to her again and pulling the covers up over them.

'Well, you had some other areas you preferred to concentrate on instead.'

Jane grinned back and kissed her shoulder.

'So' he said with a tinge of nervousness in his voice.

'So?'

'What happened? I've never seen you act like that before. So...so wanton.'

Lisbon blushed profusely before raising her eyebrows. 'Are you complaining?'

Jane chuckled. 'What do you think? I guess I'd like to know where it came from, that's all.'

Lisbon shrugged. 'I don't know really. Like you said, I didn't want to waste more time by pretending that fixing us wasn't something I wanted too. Neither of us is getting any younger to keep going round in circles like this. Although I haven't a clue how we're supposed to accomplish that after everything that's happened. I just figured to just go with my gut feeling and to hell with the consequences for a change. Sometimes I think too much about what's right and wrong and what the logical decision should be. I thought I'd take a leaf out of your book and just go after what I instinctively wanted instead.'

'Well, I for one am certainly glad you did throw caution to the wind. But we still have a lot of things we need to talk about.'

'I know. And you were right. We probably should have talked properly before we did this but-'

'It's okay. I understand, Lisbon. You couldn't resist me any longer. You're only human, after all.'

She punched him in the arm smiled.

He looked at her more seriously and stroked her hair. 'I know we can make this work, Teresa. I know it's going to take a hell of a lot before you trust me again. I don't care how long it takes but I'm going to prove myself to you and make you never doubt me again.'

Lisbon nodded but he knew he was still a long way off from winning her back.

She said, 'I hope you're right and I know you want to talk to me but can we leave it for today? I want to have a clear head when we discuss things and what just happened between us may-'

'Cloud your judgement?'

'Something like that, yes.'

He thought for a second before he replied. 'Okay, so you want to get something to eat instead? I'm starving, especially now', he grinned.

'Sure, but then I need to get back to Sacramento.'

'You're not staying the night?'

'No, Jane, I'm not. I'm not just responsible for assembling a new team. I have to help with the office renovations too. I have so much to do if we're going to be ready to open in a couple of week's time.'

Jane rolled his eyes. 'Sounds fascinating. Can't someone else put in a requisition for paperclips and pens?'

'There's a lot more to it than that. I have to approve seating plans, desk choices, organise phone lines-'

Lisbon stopped as she heard snoring noises coming from beside her.

She hit him on the arm again and said, 'We can't all have a carefree life where we don't work for a living, you know. Some of us are responsible adults.'

Jane opened his eyes and raised his eyebrows. 'I'd say you were a pretty irresponsible adult not too long ago.' He began to kiss her shoulder and moved his kisses down her arm, holding it up by its wrist and turning it towards him so he could kiss its underside and added, 'In this very bed if I'm not mistaken.'

Lisbon smiled in spite of herself and ruffled his hair. 'Okay, one more hour, then dinner, and then I'm going home.'

* * *

After dinner in town he drove her back to her car.

'You sure you can't stay the night?' he asked, as he circled his arms around her against her car.

'No. Stop pushing your luck.'

He smiled and gave her a small peck on the lips. 'Okay. So, when will I see you again?'

'I'll try to get back down here at the weekend.'

'But that's almost a week away!'

Lisbon rolled her eyes. 'Jane. I meant what I said. I have a lot of work to do to get the office ready. It's important to me, all right? I'm not about to drop everything for you.'

Jane nodded. 'Fair enough. But then we talk. Properly. No funny business first.' He smiled at the end of the sentence.

Lisbon smiled back. 'Okay, I'll try to restrain myself.' Then her smile vanished and she added, 'But...I don't want you to get your hopes up, Jane. I know we had a great day together but-'

'It doesn't mean you're ready for more than a bit of fun with me.'

'I can't just forgive you for everything you've done because of one lovely day. I don't want your expectations to be too high. When we do talk about things it may not be enough for me to take this any further than what we had today.'

'I know that, Teresa. And I know forgiving me is going to take you time, even if you accept you want to forgive me at all. If it isn't then I'll respect that. And if you only want me as a friend that you keep at arm's length I'm ready to accept that too. I just want you in my life, in whatever capacity you want that to be.'


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 – Help

Jane arrived at the diner the next morning feeling a mixture of euphoria and worry. The day before had been wonderful but he saw her face as she was leaving. It was certainly going to take more than an afternoon of great sex to make things right between them.

He got on his stool and Steph was over like a shot, a cup of tea already in her hand for him. 'You didn't call me to tell me how it went!'

He squinted his eyes and then replied, 'Oh, sorry. I forgot.'

'Never mind. So?'

Jane smiled and sipped the tea she had brought him, raising his eyebrows. 'So?'

She regarded him for a second then a grin came over her face. 'Oh my god, you had sex with her, didn't you?'

A man two chairs down looked in their direction and smiled, giving Jane a thumbs up sign.

Jane smiled thinly at him, a blush coming to his cheek before turning back to Steph. 'Nice one. You want to get a megaphone in here?' More quietly, he asked, 'Was it that obvious?'

'Sure. You have that look about you.'

'And what look is that?'

'One I haven't seen since I met you' she replied with her eyebrows raised.

Jane ran his hand through his hair, smiled and shook his head.

She asked, 'So, what does it mean? You two back together now to sail off into the sunset?'

He shook his head. 'No. We haven't even really talked yet. But we will. She's moved back to Sacramento. Actually she's going to be working in the same building where we both used to work. It's strange how things have come full circle.'

'So, what you just saw each other and hit the sack?'

'It wasn't quite as tawdry as all that, thank you very much. I don't imagine you want the details.'

She screwed her face up. 'You're damn right I don't. I'll fetch you your breakfast. I'll tell Rico to add another strip of bacon this morning' she said, giving him a wink.

* * *

After breakfast he noticed she was quieter than normal. Not that he didn't enjoy the peace for a change but he knew something was wrong with her.

'What's the matter? Not like you to be so quiet.'

'I thought you preferred it when I was quiet.'

'I do but obviously something's bothering you.'

'Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it' she said quickly.

'Okay' he said, knowing this was how to get her to speak.

After a moment she said, 'I got this today', handing him a letter she took out of her apron pocket.

He opened it and read the first page. 'Is this a job offer?'

She nodded. 'Yes, it's from one of the biggest law firms in New York. They've offered me a job, based on me graduating with my current grades, of course.'

'New York?' he replied, feeling a little sad for himself at the thought of her being across the country.

'Why, would you miss me?' she smiled.

'Of course, who else could I find to annoy me as much as you?' he smiled back.

He looked at the second page and widened his eyes. 'Is this the starting salary? Jesus, I'm in the wrong job.'

'Yes it is and you can't be in the wrong job. You have to actually have one first.'

Jane gave the letter back to her. 'So, what's the matter? You're not worried about your grades, are you? We can spend more time going over stuff if that's what it is.'

'No, it's not that. I know I'm going to get the grades.'

'So, is it because it's in New York? I'm sure there are plenty of firms closer that'll offer you much the same deal.'

She nodded. 'I know that too. It's just...Well, the type of firms offering me this kind of money are big firms.'

Jane nodded but couldn't understand her point.

She continued, seeing the confused expression on his face. 'Patrick, they're all big corporate firms. It's all about deals, mergers, politics, backstabbing-'

She stopped as she saw his expression change to one of understanding. 'And you don't want to work for one of those type of firms' he said.

'No, I don't.'

He smiled and replied, 'I never thought I'd see the day, an idealistic lawyer.'

She smiled back and shrugged, putting the letter back into her apron. 'Tell me about it. It's ridiculous.'

'So, don't take the job in one of those firms. Find a smaller one, somewhere you can make a difference to the common man if that's what you want.'

She nodded but still frowned. He looked at her and then realised what her issue was.

'You can't do that because of law school fees, is that it? You feel you need to take a higher paying job to pay them off. Especially now. You don't want to burden your mother with that worry as you're both still getting over the loss of your father.'

She shrugged and looked away. 'When my father died suddenly like that a lot of things changed for us. She needs the money he had saved for my education to live on now.'

'Well, there's a very easy solution. I can give you the money. Just give me a couple of days to get to a casino.'

'No, you will not! That's not why I showed you the letter. If I work in one of those firms for a couple of years I can make enough to pay off my debts and then do as you say. It's the obvious solution.'

Jane sighed. He had been one himself and been around plenty of others to know a con artist when he met one and knew she wasn't one.

'I know that, Steph. But you wanted my advice so here it is. Why would you want to work somewhere you're going to hate for two years when I can make the problem go away in a couple of days instead. It's preposterous.'

'I'm not taking your money, Patrick.'

He rolled his eyes. 'It's the casino's money, not mine! Okay, how about you even put up the stake and I'll increase it for you. I'll even take a little commission off the top for my trouble. How about that? Think of me as a stock you're investing in if that makes it easier.'

She couldn't help but smile a little. 'A stock?'

He smiled back. 'Sure, why not? Believe me, I'm a good bet. At least when it comes to poker or blackjack I am.'

Her face softened and he could see her eyes were glistening. 'Look, thank you. I really appreciate you trying to help me in your own way but you're not-'

'Your father. I'm aware of that, Steph. I just want to help you so let me.'

She shook her head as her tears welled up and walked away.

* * *

'Hey' Jane said when he rang Lisbon that evening. 'How go the renovations?'

'Oh, god, don't talk to me. The phone company won't get their finger out; the desks will never be here on time and I have a building manager who finds more time to look at my ass than the seating chart. I haven't even had time to go over personnel folders to pick my team yet. It's a nightmare. So, how are you?'

Jane grinned. 'Well, you can't really blame the building manager. I've admired that ass for many years myself so give him a break. I'm okay, thanks.'

'You sure? You sound worried. Is it about what happened yesterday? Do you regret it?'

Jane laughed. 'Of course not, don't be ridiculous!'

He went to explain his conversation with Steph that morning.

'She sounds like she's proud, Jane and she wants to fix the problem herself. It shows good character.'

'Yeah, good character but utter stupidity.'

'Why is it so important for you to help her?'

'Because I can.'

'That's not an explanation.'

Jane was silent for a moment and then replied. 'Look, I never had the chance to see Charlotte grow up. And I know she's not Charlotte but-'

'She reminds you of her?' Lisbon asked quietly, her heart breaking for him.

'Not really. I mean when Charlotte...when she died she was only a child. But do you remember the hallucination I had of her when I drank that belladonna?'

'Of course. She was a teenager then, right?'

'Yes. Well, Steph is like an older version of that, kind of.'

'She's the person you hoped Charlotte would have grown up to be.'

'I guess it's something like that. I know it sounds crazy but something inside me is telling me I have to help this girl, Lisbon.'

Lisbon smiled, tears welling up. 'Then help her.'

'Didn't you hear me? She won't accept my help.'

'And since when does Patrick Jane give up so easily?'

He smiled and nodded. 'You're right. I'll talk to her again tomorrow.'

'I'm looking forward to meeting her now. Hope she likes me.'

'She already does just by what I've told her about you. Believe me, she wasn't shy of telling how much of a jerk I was to you.'

'Then I really do look forward to meeting her!'

They both laughed for a second before Jane spoke again. 'You know, you sounded like you were really stressed earlier from all that work today. I could be there in a couple of hours to...you know...relieve a little of it for you if you like?'

Lisbon grinned, her stomach lurching at the idea. 'Why, you want to give me a massage?'

'Well, I could begin with a massage.'

'Stop it. I better go before my will leaves me entirely. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Night, Patrick.'

'Night Teresa, sleep well.'


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 – Problem Solving

Jane walked into the diner and marched up to Steph. 'You come to your senses yet?'

She was shocked by his directness and glared back at him. 'I've already told you no.'

'And I've already told you how stupid that answer is.'

'Well, there you go' she said as she went to walk away.

'It's not just your decision, you know.'

She turned back. 'What do you mean? Who else is there to make the decision, not you, that's for sure?'

'No. But I think your mother should have a say in this too.'

'Why? What has this got to do with her?'

'Well, like you said, it was her and your father's money that put you through Law School to start with. How do you think she'd feel about you making this decision without her?'

'She already knows about the job offer. She's happy for me.'

'She's only happy for you because you haven't admitted to her that it's not something you want to take.'

'You know why I haven't told her. She has enough on her plate. Besides, how do you know? You haven't even met her!'

'So introduce us. Let me see if I can make her talk some sense into you.'

'That's not going to happen.'

Jane shrugged. 'It is. If you don't call her I will.'

'You will not! I'm not giving you her number and it's unlisted.'

Jane tapped his fingers to his lips. 'Ah. Let me see. Is there a way for me to get her number? It's not like I know anyone in the FBI who could get it for me in two seconds flat.'

'You wouldn't!'

'You know perfectly well I would.'

Steph's eyes narrowed. 'Believe me. I'm doing _you_ the favour of not letting you meet her.'

'What does that mean?'

She glanced away for a second before she answered. 'When she heard you and I were friends she looked you up on the Internet.'

Jane nodded. He could understand any mother feeling protective when her daughter had started hanging out with someone twice her age. 'And I'm guessing she didn't like much of what she found there.'

'That would be an understatement.'

Jane squinted at her. 'Why did you never do that? You're the nosiest person I know, apart from myself, that is?'

Steph met his look. 'Who's to say I didn't?'

'You never mentioned it. Surely you must have questions about some of the stuff I've done.'

She shrugged. 'I only looked you up after you told me about your daughter.'

Jane nodded. 'You still never mentioned it?'

'I knew you by then. Or, at least I knew the person you are now. The man I read about didn't resemble the man I'd gotten to know. It didn't matter to me who you used to be.'

Jane smiled at her. 'Please let me help you.'

'I can't.' Her voice came out like a whisper.

Jane rolled his eyes. 'Fine, then back to plan A. Tell your mother I'll be in touch later today.'

'You're not going to leave this, are you?'

'Nope' he smiled, leaning back on his stool.

Steph sighed. 'Fine. I'll call her and tell her you want to meet her. It'll be your funeral. I'll get her to drop by here tomorrow afternoon. I don't have any classes so I'll be here too.'

'Perfect' Jane replied happily.

* * *

Lisbon rubbed her temples with one hand as she walked back to the office after grabbing a sandwich nearby, the phone held to her ear. 'Well, you better put me on with your supervisor. The phone lines are meant to be in tomorrow. Next week is not good enough.'

She rammed the elevator button with her finger and got in. 'Hold on, I might lose you for a second. Do not hang up on me.' She entered the elevator and tried to count to ten as she heard the musical tones of Greensleeves whilst she waited to be connected to the supervisor. She got out of the elevator and began talking as the music stopped. 'Hello, this is Agent Teresa Lisbon of the FBI. I've been promised phone lines by tomorrow but now I believe you're talking next week. Let me tell you this isn't acceptable. No! Do not put me back on hold!' Then she heard the phone go dead. She glared at it and shouted, 'Son of a bitch!'

She marched back to her office, swearing under her breath to find Jane sitting there comfortably on a brand new couch.

'Hey there. How's your day going?' he smiled warmly, a glint in his eye letting her know he knew exactly what kind of a day she was having.

She glared at him and the couch with her mouth open. 'What are you doing here? And what the hell is that?'

'Oh, I just thought I'd pop by to tell you how it went with Steph this morning.' Patting the couch around him he said, 'And this? Why it's a couch, Lisbon. It's not the first one I've bought you for this office.'

She continued to stand opposite him. 'Don't start, Jane. I'm having a bad enough day. If you wanted to tell me about Steph there are such things as phones.'

He tilted his head from side to side and muttered quietly, 'Didn't think you'd want to mention the word 'phone' from the end of the conversation I've just heard.'

She shot him another glare and sat at her desk.

'I thought you said you didn't have desks yet?'

'Just mine so far' she replied, picking up a folder from her desk and opening it sharply.

'You don't want to try it out?' he smiled, patting the cushion beside him.

Lisbon sighed and shot him another glare for good measure, trying to concentrate on the file in front of her.

Jane ignored the look and stared out the office window in front of him. 'You know, you were right. It is strange to be back here. I can almost see Rigsby wolf down a quarter pounder and pretend not to stare at Van Pelt whilst doing so.'

He noticed Lisbon's lips turn into a small smile and he grinned. 'Come on, Teresa. Take a break. Join me.' He patted the cushion beside him again.

'I have work to do, Jane. We agreed that I'd come see you at the weekend and talk. I haven't time now.'

'I know. And we will talk at the weekend. But you didn't say I couldn't visit you in the meantime and just, you know, have some more fun.'

Lisbon looked up at him and opened her mouth. 'Oh my god! Is that why you came here? You want to have sex in this office, don't you?'

Jane grinned. 'Don't tell me you never thought about it all those years ago. There's no one else around, can you think of a better time? If we wait much longer there'll be agents swarming around and we won't get the chance.'

'You're unbelievable!'

'Thank you, but reserve your judgement until afterwards, Lisbon. Although, I do think you told me that the other day, too.'

Lisbon smiled and shook her head. 'So, I see you haven't changed that much. You're still a cocky son of a bitch.'

Jane smiled back. 'Well, if I remember correctly, I have reason to be. At least I do where that area of our relationship is concerned.'

Lisbon blushed but could hardly argue with him on that count. No one had ever made love to her like Patrick Jane had and she found her heart racing. Of course she had imagined having sex with him in this office. How could she not as they became closer and he started to hang out there more than in the bullpen, lying on the damn couch as she finished her paperwork.

His voice startled her out of her thoughts. 'I see you're considering the notion.'

'I am not!'

'Liar'

'I have too much work to do' she said, pushing her shoulders back.

He got off the couch and stood behind her with his hands behind his back, his head at her shoulder looking at the file in front of her. She could feel his breath in her ear as he said softly, 'Well, let's see how we get rid of that particular obstacle.'

After a moment he said, 'I'm guessing these are the candidates for your new team?'

Lisbon swallowed and replied, 'Yes', making sure to keep her eyes on the file. If she looked into his eyes she had no hope of resisting him.

'Ah, I see.' He brought one of his hands from behind his back and moved the photo aside to look at the information beneath it. He scanned it quickly and shook his head, his hand going behind his back again. 'No. Not this one.'

'What do you mean? He has an excellent record of arrests.'

'And he'd be after your job within a week.'

'There's nothing wrong with ambition, Jane.'

'No, there isn't. But there is if you're willing to forego everything else for it. He won't protect you Lisbon, he'll see you as a stepping stone for his own career. Besides, if he's such a good candidate why isn't he in the 'yes' pile already. Instinctively you know there's something you don't trust about him.'

She shrugged and knew he was right. 'Okay, he's a no then.'

'How many do you have to pick?'

'I have twenty to choose from but I'm only able to interview eight and pick four.'

'Okay then.' He grabbed the files from her desk and took them over to the couch.

'Excuse me, what are you doing?'

He shrugged. 'Ah...helping you. I'll go through these while you call that phone company back.'

She looked at him and shrugged, taking out her phone. If there was anyone who could pick the best people from personnel folders it was him.

A half hour later a small pile of folders lay beside him and a larger pile on the floor in front. Lisbon had finally got through to the supervisor and, after more or less threatening him with federal prison should the phone lines not be installed the next day, he had acquiesced.

She smiled as he put down the last file on the floor. 'You want to meet your new team?' he said, piling up the folders from beside him in his lap and looking at the space next to him.

She got up from her desk and sat beside him. God, it was a comfortable couch, she thought as soft and warm cushions enveloped her. He looked at her and smiled, placing the files on her lap and then putting his right arm around the back of the couch behind her.

She went through the files and they discussed the eight possible candidates he had picked, Jane giving her his preferences for the four she should go for.

She closed the last folder and sat it on the floor beside her. He looked at her again and began to massage the back of her neck through her hair, his eyes smiling at her.

'Happier now?' he asked.

'Yes. Thank you for the help. And the couch. Again, I guess.'

'My pleasure.' His eyes hadn't left hers as he continued to massage her neck.

'Jane. We can't-'

She was interrupted by his kiss and allowed herself to fall into it easily.

He whispered, 'Yes, we can' before kissing her again.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 – Honesty

Lisbon buttoned her blouse and put her hands through her hair, straightening it as Jane watched from the couch and smirked at her, already fully clothed again.

'I cannot believe we actually just did that' she said, shaking her head. 'Jesus, we're supposed to be adults and here we are acting like two horny teenagers. This was all your fault' she said, pointing at him.

He pointed at himself, a grin still on his face. 'All _my_ fault? I wasn't the one who decided to go for round two against your desk.'

Lisbon blushed and looked away from him. 'What if someone had walked in and caught us?'

'Meh, like who? Your building manager? If he had you would have given him the best surprise of his life.'

She closed her eyes and shook her head again. 'I'm appalled with myself. Suddenly, I lose all control of my faculties when you're near me. You need to go.'

He got off the couch and sidled up to her, propping himself up on the desk. 'Don't be angry with yourself, Teresa. There's nothing wrong with making a couple of long held fantasies come to life. Mine was making love to you on the couch here, yours was the desk. We didn't do anything wrong.'

She raised her eyebrows to him. 'How did you even get that couch in here? I was only gone twenty minutes.'

He smiled. 'I know. I had to wait around the corner and wait for you to leave. Had to pay the delivery company a few extra bucks to wait with me.'

'And I don't suppose there's any reason to ask how you got in.'

He shrugged, both of them knowing he had picked the lock.

'I must make a note to upgrade security in the building.'

'You know why you do that, don't you?'

'Do what?'

'Suddenly lose control of your faculties as you put it.'

'No, why?'

'Because you'd rather do that than for us to have a conversation about where this is heading. It's the easier path, just to have sex so you don't have to talk. I didn't realise it at first but, after today, that's definitely the case.'

'Well, it was you who initiated what happened today. Not me.'

'I did. So maybe that makes me no better. So we need to stop doing that or we'll never have a proper conversation.'

Lisbon sighed. He had been right. He was about to talk to her the other day and she had lunged for him instead.

'It is easier, isn't it, though?'

'Just to have sex than to actually talk. Of course it is. But you know there's more to us than just sex, Teresa, no matter how great it is.'

'I know that but maybe that's all I can give you at the moment, Jane. I want to forgive you but...' She shook her head.

Jane nodded. 'I'm not expecting you to forgive me instantly, Teresa. I've told you that already. And I'm not going to make promises to you or tell you to trust me. I've done that too often and failed you too many times.'

Tears welled in Lisbon's eyes. 'You broke my heart, Jane. I thought you did that before when you ran off to South America but it was nothing compared to what you did to me this time. I let you in here' she said, pointing to her heart, 'And I don't know if I'm capable of ever letting you back in again, at least not to the extent I had. And even if I was capable, how am I supposed to know that you won't suddenly get scared again and run off?'

Jane nodded. 'I understand.'

'And you're okay with that, if I can never feel the way I used to about you?'

Jane shrugged. 'I can live with it for now, if that's what you mean. It's better than not having you in my life at all. I'm a patient man, I wouldn't be here if I didn't think we still had a real chance of making this work.'

'I know you're being more honest Jane. And you do seem to have changed. You seem more at ease with yourself and happier. '

'I am.'

Silence engulfed them until Jane spoke. 'Give me your spare key.'

'What?'

'To your apartment. Or I can pick the lock if you prefer.'

'Why?'

'Because you look tired and I want to cook dinner for you. Don't fret. There is no ulterior motive. I'll even leave after dinner. I can see you need some more time to think alone before we discuss things further.'

Lisbon shrugged and reached in her purse. She gave him her spare key and scribbled the address of her apartment. 'I should be home in a couple more hours.'

'Okay.' He kissed her on the forehead and left her office. As he reached the elevator he looked up at the stairs to the attic. When he was bringing in the couch earlier he didn't have a chance to really take in the place in but now as he stood there the memories flooded back to him. All those years, he thought to himself as he entered the elevator.

* * *

As Lisbon entered the apartment she heard the sounds of one of her Jazz CDs softly playing and the smell of tomato and basil wafting from the kitchen.

Jane stood with his back to her at her stove, stirring some sauce and adding some pepper.

'Hey there, how was the rest of your day?'

She sighed and came up behind him. Part of her wanted to wrap her arms around his waist as she used to when he cooked for her but she held back. How was that action somehow more intimate to her than the sex they had had that afternoon? She was beginning to think that somehow Patrick Jane was now the more rounded and reasonable person in their relationship and not her.

He turned around to her and caught her expression. 'What's the matter?'

She took her jacket off and put her bag on the chair. 'Oh, nothing. The day was fine. Should have the desks here by Friday and I've set up interviews for next week.'

He turned back to his sauce. 'Well, that's good. Sounds like everything's back on schedule.'

'Yes, it is. Thanks again for today.'

He turned back to her and raised his eyebrows. 'Which part of the day in particular are you thanking me for?'

She rolled her eyes and walked towards him, looking into the saucepan. 'You're making the chicken thing I like?'

'It's called chicken cacciatore and yes, I am. You've lost too much weight working the hours you have.' He turned around to the chopping board and began to cut some herbs.

She smiled at him as he stood with her back to her again. 'Jane-'

'You don't need to thank me again, Lisbon. It's just dinner. Why don't you go take a shower, it won't be long' he said, his back to her again.

She nodded but she heard something in his voice as the words came out, almost like a crack to them and went into the bathroom.

He stopped chopping when he was sure she wasn't in the room any longer and looked at his hands. They were shaking and he exhaled, wiping a tear from his eye. He had readied himself for the cold shoulder from her but the emotional turmoil he was beginning to see in her face when she had come in from work he hadn't fully prepared himself for.

* * *

Lisbon came back in dressed in a football jersey and jeans. 'Smells wonderful' she said, the pain he had caught in her face earlier vanished for now.

He dished out dinner and smiled as Lisbon ate it ravenously. 'God, I'd forgotten how good that was.'

'Glad you still like it.'

He filled her in on his plan to meet Steph's mother the next day.

'Sounds like you're going to have a fight on your hands.'

'Meh, it'll be fine. I'll talk her round.'

'Well, if anyone can manage it you can, that's for sure.'

'That's good to know' he smiled, looking directly at her.

After a few minutes she asked, 'Why did you do this? Make dinner for me, I mean?'

Jane shrugged. 'I don't know really. Guess I've missed cooking for you.'

'I've missed it too.' She saw his eyes light up at the comment.

They cleared the plates away and put the dishes in the dishwasher and stood looking at each other at opposite sides of the kitchen.

'Do you want to stay? The night I mean?' she asked.

'There's nothing I'd rather do but I think I better head back.'

'Okay, then.'

They continued to look at each other until Jane moved to get his jacket. Lisbon caught his arm as he went to push past her and he stopped.

'Thank you for dinner, Patrick.' She said the words softly and kissed his cheek gently.

He felt the tenderness in that kiss more than any other that he had received from her over the past few days and his heart soared. He looked at her and ran his hand down the side of her cheek. 'I'll see you at the weekend, Teresa. I'm looking forward to it.'


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29 - Loss

Steph informed him the following morning that when she had called her mother and told her that he wanted to give her some money to help with Law school fees that the notion had went down 'like a ton of bricks.'

'You're going to be careful with her, aren't you, not play any of your minds games on her? She's not like me' she said softly.

Jane smiled back at her, 'Why? Is she a nice person?'

'I'm serious. Just take it easy on her, okay? She might lash out at you but she's still hurting.'

Jane nodded and placed his hand on top of hers. 'Trust me, okay, it'll be fine. I know what I'm doing.'

* * *

He arrived back at the diner in the afternoon and scanned the place quickly. He identified Steph's mother straightaway as she sat at one of the tables against the picture windows overlooking the harbour. She was slim, tall, had shoulder length blond hair and he guessed she was around his age. She fiddled with her wedding ring and was looking out the windows, a cup of coffee untouched in front of her. Steph was about to call him over but he held a hand up to her and walked over to her mother instead.

'Mrs Anderson? Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Patrick Jane.' He outstretched his hand and she looked at it and then at him, finally deciding to shake it.

Steph was over like a shot as he sat down opposite her mother. He looked up at her and said, 'Tea, please, Steph.'

'What do you mean? I'm not leaving.'

'This is between me and your mother, for now at least. We have some things to discuss privately before we get to your little problem.'

Steph's mother regarded him for a moment before turning to her daughter. 'Mr Jane is right, Stephanie. We'll call you when we need to talk to you.'

After glancing at the both of them again and realising neither was going to speak until she left she retreated back to the counter.

'Call me Stella. Mrs Anderson always sounds like my mother in law.'

Jane smiled. 'Okay, Stella. Then call me Patrick. So, I believe you've done a little research into me. So, let's get down to it, shall we? What precisely are your main issues?'

Stella looked at him, an icy expression on her face. 'Well my main priority is my daughter, Patrick. She likes to act like she's a grown up and she is in many ways but-'

'She still has a long way to go. Believe me I know.'

'She says the two of you are friends. Exactly what does that entail?'

'Nothing you need to worry about. You read I had a daughter once, I presume? So I can understand your concerns. So let me put those to rest firstly. You know your daughter better than anyone and you've raised an incredible one in my opinion. Is she the type of person to get involved romantically with someone my age, not to mention my background?'

Stella blushed and he saw her expression soften a little. 'No. She told me it wasn't like that between you and I believe her. Look I'm terribly sorry about what happened to your wife and child. But you know where I was coming from. I had to meet you to be sure.'

'Naturally, I understand. Now that that's settled what else have you read about me that bothers you?'

Stella shrugged and sighed. 'So much. Is it true you killed the man responsible for your wife and child's killer? And did you not also kill another man in a shopping centre who you also claimed was their killer years ago? I believe you were on the run for two years and were indicted for murder less than a year ago but somehow the charges were dropped. How can I allow my daughter to accept money from someone like that?'

Jane nodded. 'All that you've said is true and I understand why you'd feel that way. I could go into the reasons and explain decisions and the actions I've taken but that would take too long to go over quite frankly. I'm not going to apologise for the things I've done in my past. Suffice to say, I was that person and I have some regrets over many things during that time in my life. But I can't change what I've done. Steph sees me for the person I am now, not who I was and it's a testament to you and your husband that you've raised such an open minded individual. I am trying to be a better person now and part of that includes helping Steph when I know I can.'

Stella nodded and thought for a moment as she looked from side to side, a question obviously on her mind she was unwilling to voice just yet.

'You have another question. What is it? Ask me anything, I have nothing I want to hide from you.'

She spoke quietly. 'I also read that you were a psychic once but you stopped after what happened to your wife and daughter. Do you still have that gift? Do you...do you still use it?'

Jane closed his eyes for a second. He hadn't expected this from her. 'I'm sorry but I was never a psychic. I was a conman. There are no such things as psychics.' He saw her face break a little and tears form in her eyes. 'That's part of why you agreed to meet me, wasn't it? You wanted me to do a reading for you? To contact your husband?'

Stella's lip quivered and she pushed the tears away, nodding lightly. 'It all happened so suddenly. I still get up and expect him to be in the kitchen reading his paper when I come downstairs. I just want to know if he's at peace and is still looking out for me in his own way.'

Jane sighed. This was not the path this conversation was meant to go. He didn't want to dash this woman's hopes with his beliefs that the dead are dead and don't care how anyone is. Instead, he put his hand on hers and said quietly, 'I know how hard it is. Believe me, I know. But, you'll remember the good times before long. Enjoy those moments, no matter how many tears accompany them. That's the best way to feel close to him.'

She looked up at him and nodded. 'At least you had someone to blame. Did that make it easier? The only person I have to blame is myself. I should never have let him eat so many damn cheeseburgers.'

Jane found it hard to suppress a smile and raised his eyebrows to her. 'I'm pretty sure if you hadn't let him have those burgers he would have found a way to get them himself. It's not your fault.'

She smiled at him and wiped another tear away. 'I know. I'm driving myself crazy. I just...I just miss him so much. Does the pain ever go away?'

'I'd like to say yes but in my case, no, it hasn't, not totally. I thought when I killed the person responsible that it would magically disappear but it didn't. I've come to realise that it'll always be inside me. I've just found a way to accept that and live with it.'

'That's not exactly heart-warming' she replied with her eyebrows raised.

'Sorry. But it's the truth. Or, at least, the truth as far as I'm concerned. As you've probably read, I'm not exactly a role model for healing and acceptance but I think I'm getting there at last. I hope you fare better and don't take as long as I have. And you said I had someone to blame. I did but I also blamed myself, for many, many years I blamed myself.'

'But you don't anymore?'

Jane sighed. 'I did a stupid thing and my wife and child ended up dead. But he did that, not me. It's taken me a long, long time to finally accept that. The last thing I'd do is belittle what happened to my family or your husband but it's a bit like you with those cheeseburgers in a strange way. It may have been you that bought them but he was the one that ate them.'

She smiled a little more. 'I never thought I'd hear an analogy between a serial killer and a cheeseburger.'

Jane sighed again, a small smile of his face and he looked out the window. 'And I never thought I'd make one.'

She smiled back at him and looked over at Steph who was serving coffee to a customer. Jane had noticed she looked in their direction every ten seconds.

'She really is a credit to you and your husband. A bit lippy, though, if you don't mind me saying.'

Stella smiled widely. 'She gets that from her father, he was a lawyer too. They were so close. She wants to be just like him and she is in so many ways. You know, they used to have mock trials at home over the stupidest of things like who should be responsible for taking out the trash, drove me insane. Neither of them ever wanted to give in and I was always stuck in the middle as the judge. I normally got the cold shoulder from one of them at least once a week.'

He smiled back at her. 'I can imagine.' After a moment he said, 'Let me help her.'

Jane went on to explain about the job offer and Steph's true feelings on it.

'She shouldn't have bothered you with all that. She should have talked to me about it but she was always a daddy's girl. She must respect you a lot to have shared that with you. She plays her cards so close to her chest sometimes I have to drag information out of her. I dare say she would have taken that job and never told me if you hadn't intervened. But, nonetheless, we can't accept your money, Patrick. I'm satisfied that there are no ulterior motives with the offer now I've met you but I can survive on my husband's pension or get a job myself if I need to.'

Jane rolled his eyes. 'I see. So she gets her lippiness from her father and her stubbornness from you.'

'You hardly know her. It's not right. It's up to me to look after her now, not you.'

'I know her well enough. Like you said, she wouldn't have confided in me otherwise. Believe me, any money I can give her doesn't go halfway to repay what she's done for me over the past few months. You read the type of man I was before. She's helped me see a better side to myself, perhaps the person I could have been if circumstances had turned out differently years ago.'

Stella nodded. 'You do seem so different in person to the one I read about.'

Jane smiled. 'I'll take that as a massive compliment.'

Before she had a chance to say anything else he added, 'Good, then it's agreed. I'll head off today and get the money. I should have it by this time tomorrow. I'm not quite sure how much you need but I'll make an educated guess.' He stood up without giving her a chance to reply and gave Steph a nod.

She came over and looked at them both. Jane said, 'Okay, your mother at least has saw sense so go ahead and turn down the job offer.'

She looked at her mother who was still in shock and hadn't actually agreed to anything. Stella thought for a second then nodded her head with a shrug of her shoulders.

'Do you have the account details you want it lodged into or will I get one of my FBI friends to look it up for me?' he said to Steph.

She stared at him blankly and then picked up a napkin and pulled the pen from behind her ear, scribbling down the details and handing it to him.

'Patrick, are you sure about this?' she asked, her voice breaking.

He rolled his eyes at her and shook her mother's hand. 'It was a pleasure meeting you.'

Just before he left Steph gave him a tight hug and he smiled, a tear coming to his eyes. He gathered himself and left the diner.

Later that night, Jane lay on the bed in the hotel of the casino. It was 3am and he had made more than enough money to cover the remainder of her Law school fees. He smiled to himself and dozed off.

* * *

Friday came round and, for once, Lisbon was not having a bad day. The phone lines were in and desks had arrived. She had even gotten the building manager to concentrate on the seating plan. People worked outside her office and she saw it coming together in front of her eyes. It wouldn't be long until she was working cases again and she could hardly wait. She knew that office design was definitely not her calling after the past week. She hummed happily to herself and then she stopped. She realised it wasn't just the office renovations finally going well that had put her in a good mood. She was also seeing Jane that weekend. Then another thought suddenly occurred to her as she read her desk diary that made her grin.

He was scrubbing the deck when his phone rang. He put down the brush and answered it, smiling.

'Hey there, beautiful day, isn't it, Lisbon?'

'I wouldn't know. I'm stuck in the office.'

'Oh, you should be here. Sun's out and there's a light breeze. I'm thinking of taking the boat out this afternoon.'

She smiled and replied, 'Well, actually, that's what I was calling you about.'

'Oh?'

'I know we agreed that I'd come down tomorrow but I thought I might leave early and be there by this evening instead. What do you think?'

He grinned. 'You need to ask?'

She smiled and replied, 'Okay, I'll be there this evening. I've...I've missed you the last couple of days.'

'Me too, Teresa. I can't wait to see you.'

She put down the phone and smiled again, biting her lip. She thought to herself as she completed some requisition forms, as they say in poker - all in.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Warning: some M rated material in this chapter.**

Chapter 30 - Presents

After doing a little shopping, Lisbon arrived home at 4.30pm and packed some things into an overnight bag, had a shower and looked at the outfits in her wardrobe. She was not a clotheshorse by any means but had a few nice dresses. She moisturised her body with a cinnamon scented lotion Jane had always seemed to like the smell of and put on a matching set of underwear consisting of a black lace bra and panties, finishing it off with a black wrap dress that clung to her body. He may have been right and she had lost a bit of weight but she nodded in the mirror, she still looked pretty okay for a woman nearing middle age. She added the emerald earrings that he had bought her on their first weekend away together and smiled in anticipation.

Jane had changed into his best jeans and shirt. So, they resembled pretty much every other pair he had but it was the thought that counted, surely. He was nervous and wished he wore his wedding ring still just to have something to fidget with. He had rehearsed what he was going to say and was relatively confident it would be enough to at least make her consider a future with him. He was downstairs making some pasta in the small kitchen when he heard her voice.

'Patrick, are you there?' His heart raced at his first name as it always did and he detected a sultry tone to her voice. He knew before seeing her that conversation was not on her mind tonight.

'Yes, I'm in the kitchen, come on in' he replied brightly, biting his lip.

'Hey' she said, going up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

He stopped what he was doing but still stood with his back to her, unable to form words for the moment. He could smell the cinnamon lotion and closed his eyes. She was killing him.

'Hey' he croaked and then cleared his throat, taking one of her hands and kissing its fingertips lightly as he stirred the pasta with the other. He had done this numerous times in the past as he cooked for her but none were as intimate or highly charged as this occasion. He took a deep breath and turned round to face her and was immediately rendered speechless once again.

She smiled and put her arms back around his waist. 'Thank you. I'm glad you approve of the new look, too' she murmured, echoing his sentence when she first saw him again.

He looked into her eyes and was lost. Reading her was impossible as his heart thumped loudly in his chest.

She raised her eyebrows and spoke again. 'Is 'hey' going to be the full extent of your conversation tonight? If that's the case then maybe we should move on to other matters.' She moved closer into him and smiled again as she noticed the bulge in his pants.

He looked at her and shook his head, finally gaining enough control over his speech if not his body's reaction to her. 'I thought we agreed that we'd talk this weekend. What are you doing to me, woman? Is this a new form of torture I haven't heard about?'

She kissed his lips softly and grinned. 'Why? Are you feeling any pain?'

He moaned gently as she pushed herself further into him. 'You have no idea.'

He drew his hand through a lock of her hair and noticed she was wearing the emerald earrings. He said softly, 'You never wear these unless it's a special occasion.'

'Was there a question attached to that statement?'

'Is...is this a special occasion?'

'Yes.'

He nodded but still couldn't read her. How was she once such an open book to him and now he had no idea what was running through her mind. Was this reconciliation or her way of showing him one last good time before they parted ways?

'And what is that occasion, exactly?'

'You know what it is. It's your birthday. We've never actually celebrated the correct day before. Let's do that tonight and then talk tomorrow as planned.'

He looked down at her. It was true. He had never celebrated his actual birthday, from beginning at CBI and all the years after. He had stopped even acknowledging the day to himself as it reminded him too much of Charlotte. She always made a homemade card and, with Angela's assistance, would make him a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast as she got older. That was why he still ate them even today. He liked their taste well enough but they always made him think of her too, a nice memory of her eyes looking up at him expectantly to start the day. He would wolf them down no matter how bad they were and grin and tell her she had outdone herself, winking to Angela as she stood there watching. He had told people the wrong date so as not to arouse suspicion and could feign amusement when a cake and presents were brought in. How long did Lisbon know he had been lying about that?

She saw a look of pain in his eyes and pulled away slightly, her expression changing from seductive to concern. 'What is it?'

He sighed and stroked her hair and told her all about the memory of Charlotte and why he never celebrated his actual birthday.

She pulled away from him fully and shook her head. 'I'm so sorry, Jane. I had no idea.'

He walked up towards her and held her around her waist. 'You don't need to apologise, Teresa. You didn't know. This', he said, looking her up and down, 'Is an incredibly nice way to spend a birthday, though. If it means you wearing that dress again then I could perhaps get used to this as a tradition and start celebrating it again. I just wanted you to know why I didn't up until now. Guess I should have told you that a while back.'

Her expression softened and she put her arms around him again.

He said, 'How long have you known the actual date?'

She shrugged and smiled. 'Since I read your file.'

'That was a long time ago. You let me go through that charade year after year.'

'Yep. I didn't know why you didn't celebrate the actual date but it wasn't a big deal compared to some of the nonsense you told me back then. After that, I figured it was just one of your many quirks. It didn't harm anyone so was none of my business.'

He smiled and kissed her languidly, the feel of her curves within the soft fabric reigniting his ardour.

She pulled back quickly and he gasped as she withdrew from him. She looked down at his pants and smiled then went to her bag. 'I bought you a present' she said, handing him a wrapped gift.

He smiled and felt it. Definitely a book of some sorts.

'Stop trying to guess and just open it!'

He grinned again and took off the paper. It was the first novel written about Sherlock Holmes called 'A Study in Scarlet'.

'I know you've probably read it but you're incredibly hard to buy for and I didn't have much time to look. I'll do better next year.'

He quickly raised his eyes back to her and smiled again, putting the book down and circling his arms around her waist again, his eyes burning into hers. 'I love it but not nearly as much as the thought that we'll be celebrating like this next year too.'

The words had slipped out of her mouth without thinking but she realised immediately that she was planning on a future with him again and smiled back, pulling him towards her for a long kiss.

* * *

**A/N: M rated material in the next section.**

He looked at her again with a burning desire now in his eyes as his hands wandered over the soft fabric of her dress, stopping as they reached her ass and massaging its cheeks softly through the cloth, pulling her further into him and letting him feel the want for her in him. Their breathing quickened but their eyes never left each other as he thrusted gently against her dress, pulling her into him and then pushing into her rhythmically. Lisbon swallowed and he allowed his eyes to move from hers to watch the heave of her bosom as she fought to stay in control before flicking his eyes back to hers. He couldn't control himself any longer and pushed her into the table behind her and kissed her deeply as his hands moved to the knot at the front of the dress. It was quickly undone and lay in a pool at her feet. She was already moving to the buttons of his shirt but he was too impatient and dragged it off himself instead, pulling her close again and biting her shoulder as he removed her bra quickly. She gasped and bit his chest in return. He reached down and removed her panties and heard her moan softly as he felt her warmth, making him feel a little lightheaded as they both stood at the table, one of Lisbon's legs outstretched with the knee bent to allow his fingers better access, gripping him around the neck with one hand and the other on the table behind her to balance herself. He pushed his touch into her more, hearing her breathing quicken again and felt her nails tear into his neck, each scratch making him push further, wanting for her to come alive more and more. They devoured each other's mouths until she pulled away and pushed him back suddenly, his fingers falling out of its cosy embrace and he looked at her, stunned.

After a moment's panting, she smiled back at him and turned him around so that he had his back to the table instead of her. 'It's your birthday, not mine. Remember?' she said huskily as she unbuttoned his jeans and took them off him along with his shoes and socks. She knelt in front of him. He raised his head and his eyes rolled back in his head as she began working on him with her mouth, tongue and hands, his hands gripping the table behind him, too far gone at this stage to make any sort of protest in return and all his attention concentrating on controlling himself for as long as possible. She finally whispered, 'Lie on top of the table' and he did as he was told silently as she made her way up there too and inserted him inside her. Before long they had re-established the rhythm from earlier and, once they were both sated, she fell off him.

'Jesus Christ' he said, blinking to the ceiling.

She looked at him and giggled. 'You say that now. But your back is going to be killing you come the morning.'

He looked at her and began to chuckle back. 'Then I suggest we move this to the bedroom.'


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31 - Embarrassment

Lisbon awoke and curled herself against him, she had missed waking up to his scent and cuddled into him further, placing her head near his shoulder and traced circles on his bare chest lazily. He was lying on his back with his eyes closed and his lips curled into a smile.

'Morning' he said, obvious to her now he was already awake and he stroked the arm that was circling his chest, opening his eyes to look at her.

'I thought you were still asleep. How long have you been awake?'

He yawned, stretching a little before his hand went back to her arm. 'Not sure, about half hour I think. Just lying here listening to the waves and seagulls and you beside me, if I believed in heaven I think this would be it.'

'You're so corny, you know that?' she smiled.

He returned the smile and caressed her cheek, his eyes boring into her.

'I've missed this too' he said softly, reading her thoughts as usual.

She bit her lip and moved to a less emotional topic. 'How's the back?'

He moved his body a little from side to side and nodded. 'No lasting damage, I think, but I won't say no to a massage if you're offering' he smiled.

'I wasn't.'

He shrugged and put his other arm around her, pulling her close.

She swallowed and looked away from him, kissing his shoulder instead. 'I guess today we talk' she sighed.

'Yes, about time too wouldn't you say? We should have done this a week ago. Not that I'm complaining about the fun we had in between, of course.'

She smiled, looked up at him and kissed him slowly on the lips. 'I should hope not.'

He pulled her a little closer and kissed her back as she moved a leg on top of his thigh and her breasts fell onto his chest. Their lips parted and their tongues took over as she ran her hands through his hair and he moved his to the small of her back, pulling the sheet down as they travelled over her back.

Suddenly, from outside, he heard a familiar voice. 'What the hell were you playing at, Patrick?' and the door flew open.

Lisbon jumped and retreated to her side of the bed, pulling the sheet back to cover her breasts. 'What the hell!'

Jane looked at Steph who stood with her mouth open and to Lisbon who looked equally aghast and appraised the situation.

Once he realised he had been sufficiently covered to spare himself any embarrassment he grinned and looked from one woman to the other. 'Teresa, this is Steph. Steph, this is Teresa. Glad you two finally got a chance to meet each other in person.'

Lisbon nodded and swallowed, trying to regain some manner of composure. 'Hi. Nice to meet you?' she countered.

Steph nodded. 'Hi. It's...Well it's nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you. I'm sorry about the phone call we had.'

Jane watched in amusement as she tried to decide whether to come closer or not. She shrugged and went over to Lisbon, who still had the bedclothes wrapped tightly around her and her knees also now tight against her chest. Part of him wanted to tug on the sheets so much he had to use all his mental powers to control himself.

Steph outstretched her hand to Lisbon and Lisbon nodded again, shaking her hand. 'I've heard a lot about you too. Don't worry about the call. Jane, I mean Patrick, explained it to me. It's nice to...meet you finally.' She rolled her eyes, blushing and added, 'I didn't want it to be like this, though.'

Steph smiled and now seemed to take amusement in the situation herself. 'Oh, don't worry about it. Could have been worse, could have been him I saw naked instead.' She nodded over to Jane. 'That would have been truly traumatic indeed.'

She looked over at Jane and then at Lisbon again and grinned. 'I thought you weren't coming here until today to discuss things between you. I wouldn't have come here this morning if I'd known you two were you know busy..._talking_.'

Jane looked at Lisbon for a response, enjoying this much too much to intervene. 'I decided to come down here last night instead.'

'So I see.' She stood grinning at the two of them for a moment longer as Lisbon's embarrassment was now making her face turn a deep shade of crimson.

Jane finally intervened. 'Well, Steph, it's not like I don't appreciate the visit but do you mind? He pointed to the door. 'I've told you a hundred times about knocking first.'

She replied, 'And I've told you that there was never anything to see. Well, before now, that is. I need to talk to you about the not so little transaction you lodged into my account but it'll wait, I can see you've got your hands full', finishing off with a wink.

She gave them another grin and saw Jane raise his eyebrows. 'Okay, old man, I'm going. Keep your pants on.' She headed back to the door. As she reached it she turned and smiled. 'Oh, sorry, too late I guess.' Her giggles could be heard from inside as the door closed behind her.

Lisbon looked at Jane and then buried her head under the covers.

Jane immediately joined her and grinned. 'So, what do you think of her?'

Lisbon looked at him like he had two heads. 'What do I think of her? How would I know? I was too mortified to take much notice!'

Jane grinned back. 'Well, she was right. It could have been worse.'

'How? Jane, she saw my...she saw my-'

'Breasts?' he smirked, raising his eyebrows.

Lisbon covered her hands with her face. 'I will never to able to look that poor girl in the face again. How could it be worse?'

'Well, she could have walked in when you had me on that table last night.'

* * *

Whilst Lisbon was in the shower, Jane put some tea on for him and got a cup of Lisbon's favourite coffee ready for her. His heart had sung a little at just buying it for her again during the week. He shook his head. He really was a fool in love. He looked at the pasta saucepan from the night before that he had left on the stove until they moved to the bedroom and shrugged, throwing it in the bin, a hole burnt in its centre. He cleaned down the table, smiling to himself as he did so when Lisbon walked in wearing a pair of jeans and a cream top. Talking was definitely on her agenda today.

She smiled when she saw him cleaning the table and then looked away, blushing. It was adorable to him how she could be so sexual one minute then so bashful about it the next.

'Coffee's over there' he said, finishing off his wiping and pointing to the cup on the counter.

She looked at it and grinned. 'Thank you.' He watched her sniff it and close her eyes before blowing on it and taking a sip. God, he had missed the sight of her getting her first caffeine fix in the morning.

She looked over in his direction and raised her eyebrows. 'You all right?'

He looked away and cleared his throat. 'Yeah, fine.' He walked over to his tea.

'So, what's say I make us some breakfast and then we take a sail out and discuss where we go from here. Of, if you prefer, we can go to the diner instead?'

Lisbon blushed again. 'Oh god no. I'm not ready to face her again just yet.'

Jane nodded. 'Fine, you take a seat and have your coffee and I'll get things organised.'

After breakfast Lisbon did the dishes while Jane was in the shower. He came out with his hair still damp and his shirt clinging to him a little. He saw her reaction to him and smiled.

'So, ready to get this show on the road?'

'Are you sure about this Jane? You do know what you're doing, don't you? I'm not a good swimmer.'

Without a reply he ushered her up to the top deck and pulled out a bag from the engine room. 'Here, put these on first. Your pale skin will burn up out there and you'll be too hot in those clothes.'

She opened the bag to find a bathing suit and a sarong to cover it along with a wide brimmed hat and pair of sunglasses. She raised her eyebrows. 'You know, you have a little obsession about dressing me up.'

He grinned back. 'Sun lotion's in the fridge. Make sure to cover your shoulders. I got the highest factor they had.'

She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, going back downstairs to get changed and put on some lotion.

* * *

She watched from the seat on the top deck as he took control of the wheel, concentrating on manoeuvring out of the marina and glancing in her direction and smiling at her every now and then. The sun and wind felt good on her face and she smiled happily as they zipped along the water. He finally stopped the boat and lowered the anchor once it was in a lovely little bay and looked around, nodding to himself. 'This'll do.'

He came out of the engine room and gave her a peck on the lips, taking a seat himself.

'What is it?' he asked as he saw her look at him in a way she never had before, a mix of curiosity and desire in her expression.

She shrugged. 'I don't know. I've never seen you so...so manly before.'

He grinned back and then a serious expression came over his face. 'Okay, so shall we get started?'


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32 – Work and Death

'So, where do you want to begin?' Lisbon asked.

Jane thought for a second. 'Well we could do it two ways. I could tell you what I've learned and how I've changed and how I think this can work between us or you tell me your biggest concerns and we'll work from there.'

'Why don't you go ahead first and I'll jump in if I have any questions.'

'Okay, then. Well firstly I want to say thank you for giving me the time of day again. After how I've treated you it's more than I deserve most probably. I want to talk about us working together first of all.'

Lisbon jumped in immediately. 'I was thinking about that too. I don't have a lot of spare money in my budget but I know I could make a case for having you consult with us again, with me again. The FBI would be thrilled to have you back on their payroll again-'

'Let me stop you, Lisbon. I knew you were thinking about this, I could see it in your eyes when I helped you find you your new team.' He looked at her with a steely expression. 'I don't want us to work together anymore. I don't want to work with you anymore.'

She looked at him with wide eyes. 'But...why not? You can't deny we made a good team, Jane. You've said that yourself. And there was a time where you'd only work with me.' Jane caught a look of hurt at the end of the sentence.

He sighed and ran a finger across her cheek. 'Let me explain. Lisbon...Teresa, look at all the trouble I've caused you-'

'It doesn't have to be that way-'

'Please let me finish, Teresa.'

Lisbon nodded and fell silent.

He continued, 'Okay. I don't want to work with you anymore for a few reasons. Firstly, you don't need me to help you do your job. You've more than proved that over the past few months. I think...well I hope that I've taught you some stuff to help you do your job a little easier though over the years, you're so much better at reading people than when I first met you for a start. Secondly, remember what you said when you were walking around the old CBI building about the good and bad memories. I've been thinking about those times too, especially over the last few days. I'm glad I was in some of the good ones and we had some good times but I was also responsible for all those bad memories too. I used you, Teresa, manipulated you for my own rotten agenda, lied to you, tricked you, hurt you, got you suspended, fired-'

'I don't need reminding, Jane.'

'Well, it's obvious you do if you were even considering working with me again.'

'But it doesn't have to be like that. We can work together, honestly from now on.'

Jane sighed. 'You're an eternal optimist, aren't you in your own way? You come across so cynical at times I forget that some of the time. Teresa, please listen to me. I've grown over the past few months but I'm not perfect by any means and I never will be. As much as I would want to play by the rules and work with you again I'm not programmed that way. If we worked together and I knew someone was responsible for killing someone but couldn't nail them by any legal means I would come up with some scheme or ploy to get them, more than likely either making you lie in the process or not telling you at all. Either scenario is not a good one, not if we want a personal relationship to work between us.'

Lisbon thought for a moment and nodded her head. 'I can see your point, I guess.'

Jane smiled. 'Good. But those aren't the only reasons I don't want us to work together.'

Lisbon raised her eyebrows. 'There's more?'

Jane nodded. 'Yes. Another reason is a purely selfish one. If I don't work with you then I can't be responsible if you ever get hurt...again.'

'Jane, you weren't responsible for that, Nelson was. I may have been shot anyway, even if you hadn't been there. He was a loose cannon, he may have fired on me in any case. I thought you would have accepted that by now, at least.'

He sighed. 'I have accepted that. It was his fault. But you can't deny there was a greater chance of it happening because I was there sticking my nose in as usual.' He raised his eyebrows to her.

She shrugged. 'Maybe. I don't know for sure and neither do you. And what about the reverse? What if by not being there I get hurt? What if I miss something that you wouldn't have that results in me getting injured?'

Jane sighed and moved his head from side to side. 'I agree. That's a risk too. But I'm playing the odds here, Lisbon. I feel there's less of a chance of it happening if I'm not annoying some guy trying to show off how clever I am.'

She sighed and smiled at him sadly. 'Maybe you're right on that score.'

Jane regarded her. 'You're worried that without working together we won't have enough to bind us together, is that it?'

Lisbon nodded. 'I guess I am. We've worked together so long, Jane. Do you think we have enough in common to stay together if we don't?'

Jane shrugged. 'I'd like to think so, yes. At least as much as any other couple who have fallen in love with each other. We're attracted to each other obviously and we have fun together even after all these years. We can't seem to stay away from each other or worry about the other one. I trust you with my life. You're my best friend. I'm hoping, in time, you'll feel the same way about me again. It's a good enough start, right? And now we can learn even more about each other, without it being about a case getting closed. I'm excited by the prospect, not afraid of it.'

Lisbon nodded. 'Maybe you're right. It would be nice to come home to do something fun for a change and not talk about work all the time.'

'Good. I'll make it my mission for you to have as much fun as possible outside the office, then. Besides, I'm not saying I won't help you at all. Like the Fletcher case a few weeks back. If you have a particular problem and think I can help then I'd be happy to, you know that. I'll give you advice if I can on how to proceed but I'll leave it to you to decide whether to follow it or not.'

She raised her eyebrows to him, a faint smile on her lips. 'So, if I choose to do so and it gets me in trouble, it'll be my fault, not yours.'

Jane smiled back at her. 'Absolutely, I need to insulate myself from both blaming myself and from you blaming me. I don't want to be responsible for making you feel compromised at work any longer, Teresa. If you decide to go down a...less legal route then it has to be your decision, not one I've made you feel you have to take. And it may never even come to that. Your moral compass is a strong one, after all.'

She nodded. 'I have done that, blamed you for all the plans and schemes you came up with. It was easier thinking that and not admitting to myself I was responsible for my part in them too. But what about you? Don't you miss it? Wouldn't you?'

Jane smiled. 'You mean my need to show off that I'm the smartest person in the room?'

Lisbon shrugged. 'Well, yes, quite frankly.'

Jane smiled. 'I've been thinking about that and think I've found a way to get some attention for my overly large ego. I talked to Abbott yesterday-'

Lisbon's eyes widened. 'You talked to Abbott?'

'Yes. We left things on good terms in Austin so I asked him for some advice.'

Lisbon's eyes were about to pop out of her head. '_You_ asked him for advice.'

Jane chuckled. 'You make it sound like I never ask for any.' He ignored the roll of Lisbon's eyes and continued, 'I wanted to check with him if there would be a need for my skills outside of field work within the FBI and I suggested a way I could still be of service.'

'And there is?'

Jane nodded. 'Think so. He's still looking into things but I'm fairly confident he'll come back to me with a positive outlook. He seemed pretty keen on the idea.'

'So what's the solution? It doesn't mean you having to go back to Austin, does it?'

'Of course not. My idea is to be some sort of behavioural expert for agents who are just coming out of the academy or even whilst they're still in training there. I could give talks on body language skills, cold reading and so on. Helping Steph with her studies has helped me realise I like teaching people. I think I'd be pretty good at it.'

Lisbon smiled widely. 'So, you would be a lecturer of sorts?'

Jane shrugged. 'Something like that, I guess. I told him though I would only teach seminars in California or across country as long as I'd only be gone for one day at a time so I'd always be near you in any case or not gone for more than a day. When I was Angela I used to go away a lot. I don't want to make the same mistake again. But I figure teaching those skills to rookies every now and then should give me enough adulation to keep my inflated sense of self-worth happy.'

Lisbon smiled again. 'I think it's a great idea.'

'So, we're agreed? No more working together? At least not officially, anyway.'

She nodded and a grin fell across her face once again. 'Okay, agreed. You know this arrangement might actually work out better for me all round.'

'How's that?'

'Well I get your help with cases when I need it, right? But I don't have to complete the extra paperwork you caused me when I used to work with you at CBI. And I don't have to feel guilty at you sitting at home all day and wasting your talents. Also, I don't even have to find a budget to pay you out of. Sounds like a pretty good deal actually when I think about it more.'

Jane grinned back. 'Well, I'm sure we can find some way for you to pay me back for any help I might give you.'

Lisbon smiled at him, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Jane raised his eyebrows. 'I'll be expecting more than that.'

Lisbon blushed and smiled. 'Okay, so what's next?'

His expression turned serious again. 'Well, we were close to the subject a minute ago so let's deal with how I'd react if you ever got hurt again.'

'Okay.'

Jane moved back in the seat and thought for a second, looking out at the ripples of the waves in front of him before he spoke again. 'This one is tough because, honestly, I don't know how I'd react. Not for sure. So, all I can tell you are the thoughts I've come up with so far. When you got shot and I ran away, part of me was telling myself that if I wasn't in your life then you'd never get hurt but we both know that's not true, or at least it's not all of the truth. You could be hurt or killed a million ways if I wasn't even near you. The truth is I was also afraid for myself too, of losing you, of what it would do to me if I did. I thought by running away I could protect myself somehow from feeling the same sense of loss I did before. It terrified me that I might become the emotional wreck I was back then again.' He stopped and looked back out to the water and swallowed.

Lisbon moved her hand to his and he looked back at her. She asked him softly, 'So what's changed, Patrick? I'm still in a dangerous job; you might still lose me someday. Why do you want to take that chance now but not then?'

His eyes filled with tears and he ran his fingers along the side of her face and he shrugged. 'Because it's too late for me now to shield myself from that pain, I'm too far in. Being away from you these past few months has made me realise that it doesn't matter if we're together or not if you're taken from me. I'll still be devastated, even if I'm living thousands of miles away or in ten years time. I'd much rather have you in my life as my partner until that day.'

Tears filled her eyes too and she hugged him tightly, her hands wrapping around his back and kissed his cheek as a tear fell onto it.

He pulled away and kissed her softly. 'What's say we take a break for a minute? I'll go fetch us some drinks.'

**A/N: Sorry for leaving it here, I knew I wouldn't get finished writing their whole conversation in one chapter but thought it better to post something instead of nothing for a few days as I know most of you are impatient enough for it to begin (and I don't blame you, I've kept you hanging for a while now). Hope you enjoyed the beginning and can see progress. More soul-searching in the next chapter. I am hoping to have it posted Saturday but I have a bit on at the minute so may be Sunday/Monday instead.**

**Thank you again to all my reviewers and a special thanks to those who find time to post a review every time I post a new chapter. I am touched by your consistent and warm words of support.**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33 – The Past & The Future

Lisbon sipped her iced tea as they both sat in silence for a moment. Jane's words pulled her out of her thoughts.

'So, how am I doing so far?'

She smiled at him. 'Well, I can't say you haven't been open and honest with me, that's for sure. You really seem to have thought a lot about how we can make this work between us, especially on a practical level. It's given me more hope that maybe we can get back to where we were. But it's going to take time, Jane.'

Jane nodded. 'I know that.'

Lisbon bit her lip and fidgeted with her hands. 'Something else has been on my mind. When you looked at the card I brought you last week you said that you wasted so much time. Did you just mean with me, with us or...'

'With hunting for Red John too? Is that what you mean?'

Lisbon nodded. 'I got the feeling when you looked at the card, the way you looked at it, you weren't just thinking about us.'

'You're right. I wasn't.' Jane looked up to the sky and then back to her. 'That man ruined my life. That's obvious enough. And I'm not saying I'm sorry I killed him, I've told you that before. But...all those years hunting for him and depriving myself of a life outside of that...' He looked deep into her eyes, 'Depriving myself of loving someone again.' His voice petered out and then began again. 'Sam Bosco once told me that I was equal parts self-loathing and self-love.'

Lisbon was surprised by the abrupt change in topic but smiled sadly at the mention of his name. 'Sam said that to you?'

Jane nodded. 'He was pretty on the ball from the get go, wouldn't you say?' Jane paused and continued, 'He told me something before he died.'

'You told me before, he told you to take care of me or he'd haunt you.'

Jane sighed. 'Mmm, I haven't always done that, have I? But that's not what I'm talking about. He told me something else. Something I haven't told you before.'

'What was it?'

Jane bit his lip and looked out to sea again. 'He told me that I should wise up and appreciate what I had. That I was letting Red John win by denying how I felt about you.'

Lisbon's eyes widened. 'Really? He saw something back then with us?' She smiled sadly again.

'You know you're not supposed to ignore the wishes of a dying man', she added, raising her eyebrows.

Jane looked back at her and smiled, emitting a small sad chuckle.

'Why are you telling me this now? After all these years?'

He shrugged. 'I don't know really. I just want you to know that I thought about us, even back then, albeit fleetingly to begin with. That I was conflicted some of the time in my pursuit. That all my thoughts in those years weren't solely about my revenge, even though I'll admit it won out pretty much most of the time as you know. That, even though I was selfish and used you many times, you were never just a convenience to me.'

It had been something that she had said to him months ago. She hadn't really thought about it since they got together but her words to him in the Blue Bird must have came back to him after they broke up. 'I did think that, Jane. How could I not? It was so hard, especially in the beginning. I didn't know if I was coming or going with you half the time. But as the years went on I knew I meant more to you than that despite how you treated me sometimes. And you got results so it was worth it for the most part. I couldn't deny that, despite the mess you made for me sometimes. I was angry when I said that, Jane. I didn't mean it as badly as it sounded.'

He nodded and touched her hand, his eyes on a sailboat in the distance. She decided to change the topic. 'Can you answer me a question?'

Jane brought himself back to the present. 'Of course, anything.'

'You seem so different now than the last time I saw you in Austin. You've grown so much and you seem so different in so many ways. You're so much more...stable I guess you'd call it.'

Jane raised his eyebrows and smiled at her. 'I hope that's not another word for boring, Lisbon? Just because I'm being sincere with you at the moment doesn't mean I'm going to be like this all the time. I still plan on annoying you at least once a day, just to see the sparkle in your eyes when you're telling me off. I don't want you ever to get bored with me.'

She smiled back. 'Chance would be a fine thing but I'm glad your personality hasn't changed that much, then. Don't know what I would do if you suddenly turned into a well rounded individual.'

Her look turned serious again. 'Now, to my question. Why have you changed? What's brought about this great epiphany?'

'You're asking if I've done all this to win you back, is that it? That this was my plan after Austin? Or if I'm just saying things you want to hear to get you back?'

'No. I know you're not just saying things I want to hear. I know you're being sincere and this isn't some type of scheme or trick. But...why have you changed...is it...for me?'

He expected the question. 'No. I've become a little more content with myself for me, no-one else. Lisbon, after that night in Austin I doubted I'd ever see you again in all honesty. You were the one who reached out to me first, remember? I'm glad you left it for a while though; the first couple of months after I left the FBI were rough. But by the time you called I was doing better. I'd started to look at my life and some of the choices I made. It's funny but the best decision you ever made was to throw me out that night. It made me realise how much of a crutch I had made you in my life. You were right, I did rely on you to make me feel better about myself, subconscious as it was most of the time. It started me thinking about how I was before you came into my life and made me realise I've done that my whole life.'

'You mean when you were with Angela? You relied on her the same way, right?

Jane nodded. 'Even before her. Look at my history. I've looked for validation or happiness elsewhere my whole life instead of trying to find it within myself. I think even growing up I thought I never deserved to be truly happy or loved so it was easy projecting that responsibility onto other people. First it was my father, then Angela, even Sophie in a way for a little while. Even Red John gave me a purpose in life, as much as he took from me he respected me on some level of his twisted mind, I was at least a worthy opponent for him. And then there was you. So I relied on you like I had relied on everyone else I'd allowed to become close to me, clung on to you like my life depended on it. Hey, for a while there I thought it did.'

After a moment she nodded. 'I've never really thought about your life like that before. It's strange thinking of you having the same insecurities as most other people as you come off so cocksure all the time, even though I've known for years that's there's more to you than that, that most of the time it's just a front you put on. Since we're being honest, it was draining on me, Jane. It was exhausting always having to be the strong one, the reasonable one in our relationship, the grown up. But, in a way, I was as much to blame. I let you get away with murder.' She looked at him and raised her eyebrows, 'Literally.'

She continued, 'I always took you back with open arms when you used to come back into my life after being away and you pretended like you'd just popped down the shops when you were gone six months or two years. I was as much to blame for letting you get away for treating me like that for so long.'

Jane tilted his head. 'Well I wouldn't say you always welcomed me back with open arms-'

'I didn't shoot you or punch you in the nose; I would say that was decent enough of me.'

They both smiled at each other until Jane spoke again. 'Teresa, I'm glad you finally lost patience with me. We wouldn't be here now if you hadn't.'

'So you're happier? You've let go of the guilt and the hatred inside of you?'

'I am happier but I'm always going to carry some guilt with me over things I've done in my past. But not so much that I hate myself because of them any longer. I can't change what I've done in the past but I can change the person I am in the future. I've started to be a better person for myself and I quite like who I'm evolving into.' He paused and Lisbon saw a look of apprehension cross his face.

'There's more, obviously.'

He bit his lip and nodded. 'There is but I'm finding it hard to find a way to say the words without them upsetting you.'

'Just be honest. You've done pretty well so far.' She raised her eyebrows and smiled at him.

He smiled back and took her hand. 'You know the sayings you hear about couples in love. It's all about, 'We can't live without each other' and things like that. But...but with us, well, with me anyway I've learnt that I can live without you. And knowing I can survive without you in my life is a big step for me. I'm not saying I'm happier living that way by any means and I'm not saying I wouldn't be devastated if I lost you but I know I can survive if I have to on my own. It doesn't mean I love you less than I did before, it just means-'

'That you're not so dependent on me any longer.'

'You understand?'

'Think so. And it helps actually, knowing that.' He shook her head and giggled, surprising him. 'Jeez, Jane, we're some pair, aren't we? You're more content knowing you can survive without me and I'm actually happier knowing that too.'

He looked at her and chuckled himself now. 'Yeah, that idea of love isn't really written like that on Hallmark cards, is it?'

'And since when has our relationship been like the sentiments you find in greetings cards?'

He smiled and looked at her again, exhaling loudly. 'So, I think that's it from me. How about you?'

Lisbon thought for a second. 'Well, firstly thank you for your honestly. I know it isn't easy for you to open up and I'm still a little surprised at how much you've shared with me today. But if we are going to try again I don't want us to rush into things like we did when we first got together. We were practically living together from the first time you stayed the night. I'm not saying it was your fault, you may have been the one to hurry things along but I wanted it just as much. I wanted to be with you for so long it was such a wonderful feeling of being carried along with the romance of it all. I want to take things a lot slower, at least until I'm sure I can trust you fully again, as much for my own protection as for us to work as a couple again. And we still have so much to find out about each other that normal people who have known each other for over a decade have already discussed. I know I shared some stuff with you about my mother and father when we got together but there's still so much in my childhood I haven't told you and you never even mentioned yours in the three months we were together.'

Jane nodded. 'You're right. When we were just friends I knew by mentioning your childhood it was hard for you to talk about so I never broached the subject. And I guess you felt the same, you rarely asked me about mine. Guess it was a way for us both to maintain some distance between us.'

'And it was easier to carry that on when we got together, for the most part, anyway. Easier to plan a future together than talk about our pasts. But our pasts have made us the people we are today, hard as they were for both of us.'

'Okay. So ask me anything, Teresa. What would you like to know?'

'Frankly, I don't know where to start and I think I'm wrung out from the talk we've had so far today. I have so much to process and I don't know how much more soul-searching I can take at the moment. But the fact that you're willing to talk about it openly means everything to me. And I promise the same in return when we come back to the subject.'

'Okay then.'

He looked down and then back up at her, silence engulfing them for a few moments. 'So...have I said enough to give me another chance? Even on a trial basis for now?' He bored his eyes into hers with a seriousness she rarely saw.

She smiled back at him and saw his lips curl into a smile too. 'What do you think?' She raised her eyebrows.

'I think for once I don't want to rely on reading you, I want to hear you say it.'

She bit her lip. 'Okay, let's give this another shot. But you know this is your last chance.'

He grinned and kissed her thoroughly. 'That's okay, I won't need another.'

* * *

**A/N: This has been the hardest chapter for me to write so far so please be kind in your reviews! I'm still not entirely happy with it but hope I've articulated my thoughts on their relationship to an understandable level, at least. I know a couple of you wanted more dialogue for Lisbon and I have incorporated some in this chapter but when I added a lot more lines for her they just didn't seem to ring true to her character for me. Next chapter begins with a little more friendly banter between them and she talks more in it too. Hope you enjoy. I'm guessing at this stage there will be around another three to four chapters to finish this off.  
**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Holy mackerel...over 400 reviews! A very long chapter from me to thank you for all the support, enjoy...**

Chapter 34 - Parents

Jane made some dinner as night drew in they found themselves in bed shortly afterwards. They were both much too exhausted to make love and neither seemed to need to. They both knew they would have plenty more opportunities, the last few days their lovemaking had been frantic, both of them feeling a sense of desperation to hold on to that aspect of their relationship since they didn't know what future the rest of it held. Instead they held each other as Lisbon caressed his chest and he stroked her hair, kissing her on the forehead until they fell asleep.

Jane awoke a few hours later to find her gone from the bed. He hadn't sailed the boat back to the marina so knew she couldn't have gone far. When he heard no sound from the bathroom he threw on a shirt and jeans and ventured back to the top deck. He found her there wearing one of his shirts and a blanket curled around her knees that she held tight against her chest, looking up at the stars. Before she saw him he noticed a far away expression in her face. He could see her eyes and mouth switch from happiness to sadness before she turned around to him, her look then turning to surprise.

'I'm sorry. Did I wake you, getting up?'

He shook his head and came closer, sitting beside her and pulling half the blanket over his own knees and putting his arm around her shoulder. 'No, not really. Lucky we stayed out here tonight. It was a good plan of mine wasn't it? To make sure you couldn't bolt when I poured my heart out.'

She smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder. 'You don't need to worry. I haven't changed my mind about us.'

He smiled and let out a deep breath he didn't even realise he was holding in. 'Since when are you the one who can read minds?'

'I learned from the best' she smiled, her head still on his shoulder.

He pulled her a little closer and placed a kiss on her head. 'So, are you the insomniac now too? Why are you out here in the middle of the night?'

'Just saw it was a lovely clear night. It's not often you see the stars so bright when you've lived in cities most of your life.'

He smiled down at her then pointed to a star in the sky. 'You see that one up there, the orangey-red one?'

She nodded. 'You mean Betelgeuse?'

He pulled away from her slightly so he could look her in the face. 'How did you-'

'You really think I know nothing about general knowledge, don't you?' she smiled back at him.

He shrugged. 'No. It's not that...it's just-'

She glared at him still smiling as he struggled for the words. 'You think all I know is how to shoot straight and defuse a bomb?'

He smiled back at her. 'Well, those two skills have come in pretty handy on a couple of occasions I seem to recollect.'

'Stop trying to get out of it.'

He nodded. 'Okay, so how did you know about Betelgeuse? I've never seen you take any interest in science or the stars whatsoever, at least not unless it's got to do with a forensics report. Have you been a secret Trekkie all these years? Or, is it Star Wars you're into? If you have somehow stashed away a Princess Leia costume all this time without telling me I don't think I'll ever forgive you. Well, not until you wear it for me one night, at least, then I might just think about it.'

She giggled and moved into him closer. 'Trying to dress me up again, huh? I'm sorry to disappoint you but no, it's nothing like that.'

'So, what is it like?'

Lisbon sighed and gathered her knees in closer to her chest. 'When I was eight I got a telescope for a birthday present.'

Jane grinned back, his eyes wide open. 'You did?' Then he saw a look of anguish cross her face and he added more seriously, 'Your father bought it for you.'

She nodded and smiled sadly. 'I don't think he really bought it for me to be honest. I think he wanted one and mom wouldn't let him so he used my birthday coming up as an excuse. But it made me feel so grown up in a strange way. My brothers were too young, well too young and too wild really, to touch it but he spent hours teaching me all about the different constellations and planets. He was so patient and loved seeing my face when I could focus something in the lens and see it for myself.'

Jane smiled at her, a lump forming in his throat. She had talked to him briefly one night about how bad things got for her and her brothers after her mother had died and he hated the man she was talking about now so fondly.

She seemed to pick up on something in his demeanour. 'I told you before, Jane. It wasn't all bad with him. When my mother was alive he was a great dad.'

'I know, I remember. It's just hard reconciling it to the man he became.'

'Well, it's not just you that can change who they are depending on the cards they're dealt.'

He nodded.

After a few moments she asked, 'Do you...do you have any good memories of your childhood?'

He thought for a second and nodded. 'Yes, of course I do. Not too many but some.'

'Of your father?'

He shook his head. 'No. Alex Jane was never father material. But I do have some good memories of...of my mother.'

It was the first time he had ever mentioned her and Lisbon's eyes opened wide. In his file she was never mentioned so she had no idea about the woman who gave birth to Patrick Jane. She had come up with some theories that she had perhaps died in childbirth or ran away when he was a baby but she had no clue he remembered her. He had paused after mentioning her and she could see the struggle in his face as he remembered something about her, tears welling up in his eyes. She didn't really understand how his memory palace worked but by what she was seeing in his expression the door to this particular room had been closed for a long time.

He straightened himself and exhaled, fidgeting with his hands a little to calm himself down. 'She was the first person to teach me a magic trick.' He smiled at the end of the sentence. Admitting this small thing, this almost insignificant fact to most people, seemed to take a weight off his chest.

Lisbon smiled back. 'She did? What was it?'

He found the strength to look at her and seemed to enjoy the memory now. 'You know the one where you make a coin disappear from your hand? I was about four or five I guess the first time she showed me. I was so amazed the first time she did it, I thought she had some kind of mystical powers.' He smiled widely now and chuckled a little.

'Was she a magician then?'

'No. Magician's assistant. A good one I imagine. What most people fail to realise is that the assistant is just as important as the magician. They have to time things to perfection. They don't get the praise they deserve.'

She smiled at him, obvious to her the pride he still felt for his mother even today.

'Is...is she dead?'

He nodded, his expression unchanged apart from a slight blink of his eyes when he heard the question. 'When I was seven.' He bit his lip and continued. 'She always had chest problems the whole time I was growing up. I don't know how many times I would drape a towel over her head as she breathed in some eucalyptus oils over a bowl of steaming water to help her breathe a little better. Especially in Winter. We lived in trailers so it wasn't exactly the best environment for someone with a weak chest.'

Lisbon touched his hand and looked at him, his eyes fixed on a point in the distance. 'But this one time she must have got worse. To be honest I don't remember much about it. When she got really bad I was farmed out to some other families to take care of me.'

'But what about a doctor, wasn't one called for?'

'Not until it was too late I guess. We weren't exactly rich, remember? Doctors cost money and they weren't called unless it was a last resort by any of the Carnie folk. The last time I saw her she was in hospital. I hadn't seen her for a few weeks. Every time I asked about her people would get this look in their eyes I didn't quite understand at the time. Pity I'd guess you'd call it.'

'You were taken there to say goodbye to her.'

He nodded, a tear running down his cheek that he wasn't aware of. 'I didn't know that at the time. My father just told me we were going to see her. I thought that meant she was coming home.' He sniffed and brushed the tear away absentmindedly. 'I couldn't understand it when she ruffled my hair and cried when I went in. I hadn't a clue what was going on. Guess that's why I still hate hospitals to this day. They always remind me of that day.'

'What was it exactly that she died of?'

'Pneumonia I think. To be honest I'm still not sure, nobody ever told me for certain.'

She put her arms around him and kissed his cheek. 'I'm so sorry, Patrick.'

He nodded and pulled her in closer to him, kissing her gently on the lips and touched her face. 'I've never really talked about that to another person before.'

Lisbon's lips parted in shock. 'Never? But...but what about Angela?'

He shook his head. 'She knew she died of course but I just told her that she got sick when I was a child but that I didn't remember much about her. I've never...shared so much about her before. I never wanted to, it was too hard.'

Lisbon nodded, unsure of what to say in return to such a grand statement. 'She loved you, always remember that.'

He nodded again, pulling back the tears. After a few moments he spoke again. 'She loved him too.'

Lisbon moved her head that had been resting on Jane's chest. 'Mmm?'

'My father.' His eyes, so soft and open a few minutes ago were now dark and menacing. 'It didn't matter what he did. How he treated her. I remember him coming home one morning smelling of cheap booze and cigars after being out all night, gambling I imagine with some of the other workers. She was standing at the stove making breakfast. I had heard her crying not an hour before. But he came up behind her and whispered something in her ear and put his hands around her waist and I heard her laugh after a few moments, her face crimson by whatever he'd said. He really was a charming man when he wanted to be.'

Lisbon saw the implication of his words straight away. 'It's not us, Jane. It never will be. You're not the man your father was. If you were, do you still think I'd be here after all this time? You think I'd take that kind of crap from you?'

Jane smiled and kissed her. 'No, I know you wouldn't. Just feel free to give me a kick up the ass whenever I step out of line as I undoubtedly will from time to time. My mother would have probably done the same to him if she'd lived longer. Or, at least, I'd like to think she would have.'

Lisbon smiled and raised her eyebrows. 'Since when do I need to be told to give you a kick up the ass?'

He smiled and snuggled into her again. 'There's one thing I haven't been able to find a solution to in our relationship.'

'Oh and what's that?'

He shrugged. 'I still don't deserve you. Maybe more than I did but still-'

'Will you quit that? Trust me, we're not so different. I'm not as perfect as you seem to think I am.'

'I don't seem to recall ever calling you perfect' he replied, eyes smiling at her.

'Well, whatever, just leave it, okay?'

Jane's words were meant to be just a gentle tease for her but she had taken them to heart and he knew something was at the back of her temper just then. 'I was only joking, Teresa. What's the matter?'

She sighed and looked around for a second, averting her eyes from him.

He moved around so he could see her again and moved a strand of her hair away from her face so he could get a better look. He had never seen her face like this, a mixture of fear, worry and guilt obvious to him. 'Tell me, Teresa, the truth from now on, remember? It goes both ways.'

She nodded, tears beginning to come down her cheeks silently. She spoke so softly Jane had to come close to her face to hear her. 'Do you remember when I talked about my father just after we got together, about how he used to beat my brothers?'

'Of course I do' he whispered.

'Do you remember I told you then that there was more to tell you about the night he committed suicide?'

'Yes. You told me you weren't ready to talk to me about it. You said you might never be.'

She nodded and exhaled, the next words coming out a little louder. 'I want to tell you now. Well, I don't really want to tell you at all to be honest but it'll help explain why you're wrong when you say you don't deserve me. I know you were kind of joking a minute ago but you still believe that to a certain extent. When I tell you it's going to make you look at me differently.' She swallowed a lump in her throat. 'It may change how you feel about me.'

Jane's eyes widened. 'Teresa, there's nothing you can tell me that's going to change how I feel about you.'

She rolled her eyes and sniffed. 'We'll see about that.'

She said, 'Before I begin please don't interrupt me, whether you want to reassure me or ask me any questions on what I'm telling you. I need to say this to you from start to finish before we talk about it.' She looked at him for confirmation and he nodded, a worried look covering his own face now.

She composed herself and wiped her tears, pulling herself straight against the seat. 'I was out late studying at the library when I came home that night to find him at the kitchen table, a bottle of whiskey open in front of him. That was nothing new. By that stage I knew from pretty much the moment he walked in from work whether he was going to be in one of his moods or not. If he was I stayed at home to try to make sure he didn't go off too much on one with my brothers. By then they knew to stay out of his way when he was like that but they still got a beating once in a while, or at least they did until I got in between them. He didn't beat them as often but when he did it was getting worse each time and it was getting more difficult to stop him.'

Jane nodded. She had told him that he had never laid a finger on her unless she got in the way by protecting her brothers and he couldn't stop himself in time. He had seen a photo of her mother and she was the image of Lisbon so her father seemed unable to beat her the way he had her brothers.

She continued. 'Anyway, that night I arrived home and all was quiet. I said a prayer of thanks that I hadn't come home to carnage, somehow I was always expecting one night to come home to find one of my brothers...Anyway, I came in and glanced at him and got a glass of water from the sink. We didn't really talk by that stage but it was a kind of ritual. I used to fetch him a glass of water every night and sit it beside his whiskey. I was hoping one night he might take it instead but he never did.'

Her voice trailed off as Jane noticed her fighting off her tears. It was taking all of his willpower not to put his arms around her but knew if he did so she would crumble and may never tell him what had happened.

'When I put the glass of water down he put his hand on mine. It was the first type of affection he had shown any of us since our mother died. I just stood there for a second, in shock I think. He didn't look up at me but he mumbled something. It took me another moment to figure out what he said.'

She swallowed again and her voice broke a little as the words came out. 'He said he was sorry. He said he ruined our lives and that he would be better off dead.'

She exhaled a few times trying to get air back into her lungs before continuing. 'Just then I noticed a bottle of pills on the table in front of him and knew what he was about to do. I pulled my hand away and just looked at him. I don't know how long for to be honest. My eyes kept darting from him to the pills. Finally I lifted them off the table and took them over to the sink. I opened them and just stood there, about to throw them down the drain. I don't know where my mind was, Jane. I kept on thinking he was right, it would be so much easier without him in our lives. I was exhausted, every day was getting harder and my brothers were getting hurt more and more each time he got mad.'

She stopped suddenly and bit her lip. Jane put his hand on her knee. He had figured out where this story was heading but he knew it was important for her to tell him. 'Go on, Teresa. What happened next?'

She turned to him and put her hand on the one he had placed on her knee, his soothing voice enabling her to find the strength to continue. 'I took the pills back to the table and slammed them down in front of him. For the first time that night he looked up at me, I think I saw a look of surprise in his face but I'm not sure to be honest. I said to him...I told him...I told him he was right, that we would all be better off if he was dead.' As the words finished coming out of her mouth she crumpled before him, laying her head on top of her knees and her hands to her face, sobbing quietly.

He pulled his hand away from her knee and got closer to her, putting his arms around her body as much as he could, then pulling her hands away from her face and circling them around his waist instead as he held her tightly with her head against his chest, whispering soothing tones into her ear, kissing her forehead and stroking her hair.

The sobs finally turned to whimpers and she pulled away from him, still afraid to look him in the eyes, afraid of a change she might see in them.

Jane raised her head and stared at her, making her see the revelation made no difference to the love he had for her.

She gasped and nodded, no words needing to be said between them.

'Then what happened?' he said quietly.

She sniffed, ran her hand across her nose and shrugged, pulling the blanket up to her neck. 'I went to bed. I just lay there thinking about what he was about to do. I'm not sure how long I lay there, a couple of hours I think, just staring at the ceiling. I could hear nothing from downstairs and thought, well hoped maybe, that he'd just fallen asleep instead. I finally realised I couldn't let him do what he was planning, it was a mortal sin for god's sake never mind anything else so I ran back downstairs.' She stopped and caught her breath again.

Jane nodded, finishing her story. 'It was too late, he was already gone.'

She nodded. 'He must have taken the whole damn bottle as soon as I went to bed. I checked for a pulse and rang an ambulance but...'

Jane nodded again.

She looked him in the eyes now. 'I may as well have killed him myself, Jane. I allowed it to happen. He reached out for me and I threw it back in his face. So, you see, we're not so different after all. I'm guilty of blaming myself for something for years too. I'm no saint.'

'Teresa, I'm not going to tell you what you did was right or wrong but you did what you did to save yourself and save your brothers. You said the beatings were getting worse for them. What would have happened if you'd stopped him that night and one of your brothers would have ended up beaten to death a week later? How would you have viewed that night then? Then you would have had a whole other reason to blame yourself and feel guilty.'

She nodded. 'I know that but still-'

'You were in a no win situation, sweetheart. You were barely an adult yourself and you'd been through hell for years with him. It was his decision to do what he did, he should never have made you any part of it. And besides, you did try to stop him, in any case.'

'Yeah, too late.' She looked him fully in the eyes. 'You don't see me any differently, do you? How can you not?'

He shrugged. 'Because I love you, each and every part of you, all the good and all the bad. Like you said earlier, the past makes us the people we are today and despite what you did that night or didn't do it's still made you into the incredible person you are today.'

She bit her lip and smiled back sadly. 'I love you too. Despite everything you've done too.'

He kissed her gently. 'Well, that's lucky.'

* * *

**A/N: Will be interested in hearing the feedback on Lisbon's revelation, it's a little controversial. I'm going to finish this story with a couple of chapters where I'm just going to move them forward a little in time so you can get a glimpse of the changes to their lives. Hope you like and thank you again for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting (don't think that's a word!). If anyone's interested in Lisbon's previous conversation with Jane regarding her father it's in my previous fic New Beginnings, Chapter 33.**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35 – New Lives

**_2 Months Later_**

After finishing the seminar Jane smiled to himself. It had gone well as had the four others he had done that month. He was in Virginia and the FBI cadets had seemed in awe of him. It was a nice feeling he had to admit. He still loved being in front of an audience. He was about to walk out of the lecture hall when he noticed Abbott at the back of the room. He grinned upon seeing him and walked towards him.

'Abbott, how the heck are you?' he said, a memory of him saying the exact same thing to him when he came to offer him the job with the FBI.

This time Abbott grinned and shook his hand. 'Well, I heard so much about these seminars I thought I'd come and see the great Patrick Jane perform myself when I realised you were going to be here the same time as myself.'

'If I'd known you were here I'd have had you up on stage with me.'

'Why do you think I hung around the back?'

Jane chuckled. 'Wise choice. So, what brings you here?'

'Oh, just interviewing some cadets, I'm getting a bigger team back in Austin in a few months.'

'Congratulations, glad you didn't crumble without me and Lisbon there to solve cases for you.'

Abbott smiled at him. 'How are you both?'

Jane nodded. 'Good, Great. You got time for a catch up?'

* * *

They settled in a break area as Jane sipped his tea and Abbott his espresso.

'So how'd you talk her round?' Abbott asked.

Jane raised his eyebrows. 'What makes you think I talked her around? Maybe it was the other way around. I'm pretty irresistible, you know.'

'Yeah, right.'

Jane smiled, his thoughts turning to her. He couldn't wait to get back to her that evening.

Abbott caught the expression and smiled again. 'Did you hear about Cho?'

Jane nodded. 'Yeah, we got the invitation last week. He didn't hang around before proposing, did he?' Jane made a mental note to find the most extravagant wedding gift he could to present to the woman who saved Lisbon's life, not to mention the man who had talked him around on a few occasions himself.

'Well, we don't all wait over a decade to tell someone they love them and then decide to screw it up again even after that.'

Jane shrugged. 'Well, you may as well make sure what you're getting yourself into instead of diving into something too quickly' he joked.

'So, are you going to take Cho's lead? When are you going to make an honest woman out of her?'

'You always said she was an honest woman anyway, it was me who had trouble telling you the truth.'

They bantered for another while until Jane left to get his flight back to Sacramento.

* * *

He sat on the airplane and thought about the last two months. They had been a whirlwind of sorts. After opening up to each other that night on the boat they had been both become more honest and shared more memories of their childhood and teenage years. Telling him about the night her father killed himself proved cathartic to Lisbon and he was glad he could help her with the guilt she still felt. If anyone could empathise with that feeling he could. They had eased back into the relationship with Lisbon coming down to spend weekends with him whenever work didn't get in the way and him staying with her in Sacramento a few nights a week. She invariably arrived with some case files for him to look over that they discussed for an hour or so and then enjoyed the rest of their time away from work. They had gone to ballgames and museums together and both seemed much more relaxed this time around. She worked too much as usual but seemed to flourish being in charge of a team again. She exuded the same confidence she had when he first met her and could see how much she enjoyed being the boss again. He went into the office occasionally to help look over current cases (and to tease and embarrass her in front of her team in the process naturally) when she was too busy to come see him.

Steph had graduated with flying colours and was looking around for jobs in small firms. She had plenty of offers to choose from. With the extra money he had deposited in her account that she had given him back after two weeks of arguing about it he had organised a trip for her and her mother to Europe. He told her he did it 'To get you out of my hair for a few weeks.' His plan hadn't entirely worked and she rang him almost every day to update him on every aspect of their trip. He knew she did that partly just to get back at him for his interference but knew she missed him too as he did her. Lisbon and she had struck up a friendship thankfully, despite their awkward introduction, the two of them often ganging up on him on many a topic just to tease him. He thought about Abbott's words. He had that damn ring for close to a year now and still hadn't asked her. Maybe he would just bite the bullet and do it soon.

* * *

Lisbon closed the case file and moved her neck from side to side. She glanced out of her office window at her new team. It was still strange seeing them out there. She still expected Cho and Rigsby to walk into her office some of the time. She was trying hard to separate work and her personal life and it was still a struggle for her some of the time but Jane didn't push her and allowed her to set the pace of how fast things moved on between them. For a control freak like him she knew it must be difficult. She smiled at the thought of him coming back later and wondered what he would make her for dinner. She felt the waistband of her jeans digging into her. He really had to stop feeding her pasta. She would tell him later it was to be salads from now on for a little while. One of her agent's wives had popped in with their newborn baby and she heard a wail coming from outside. She looked down at her waistband again. She couldn't be, she told herself for the tenth time in two weeks. He was just feeding her too well. And besides, he would know if she was pregnant before she did and he hadn't treated her any differently. He could spot a pregnant woman a mile off, never mind someone whose body he had intimate knowledge of. She hadn't had a period for a little over two months but she was told the new birth control method she was put on when she came to California may make her periods a little irregular to start with. Besides, she was approaching middle age, it was more than likely early menopause than pregnancy. And, unlike every other aspect of her life, he had never enquired about her monthly cycle, maybe he thought she was past it already. She hadn't had any morning sickness and felt better than she had in years. The headache began to creep in and she rubbed her temples. She opened her drawer to find the four pregnancy kits she had bought two weeks ago. She and Jane were just turning the corner again. If she was pregnant, how would he react? How would she?

* * *

She smelt the aroma of Jane's beef stroganoff coming from the kitchen as soon as she came home. She was starving and began to salivate. She shook her head. She was going to have to add another few miles to her run the next morning. Or work it off with Jane's help later. She smiled at the thought as she saw his lips curl into a smile as he stood over the cooker, obviously aware she was home. He always did this now for some reason and waited for her to put her arms around his waist instead of turning around to her first. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his back.

'Hey. How was the seminar?' she murmured.

'Good', he replied, taking one of her hands and kissing its fingertips as usual.

He really was a creature of habit in so many ways she mused.

He turned around and pushed her hair from her face, smiling at her like he hadn't seen her in weeks. He leaned in and kissed her gently at first then gave her a quizzical look before he ran his tongue around her lips slowly tasting them.

'Mmm, is that blueberry lip balm? He asked, as he slid his tongue into her mouth gently as it parted and she pulled him towards her with her hands in his hair. As he broke away to kiss her neck she replied, 'Well, I know you like blueberry muffins so thought you'd appreciate the taste.'

'Mmm, I think I like the taste of your lips more', moving back to her lips and pulling her towards him with his hands now around her waist.

'Only think?' she giggled and broke away from him fully, kissing him once again quickly as he smiled back at her. He let go of her waist and turned back to his cooking.

'How was work? Did Theo Hartwell confess yet?'

'Yes, just finished processing him this afternoon. It was a good hunch of yours to check the timings again of the murder.'

He looked back at her and raised his eyebrows. 'Good. Guess that means I'm due payment tonight for my help.'

She laughed again. 'You might even get a little interest on top. I'm off to the shower, how long?'

'About half hour or so, take your time.'

She went into the bathroom with one of the pregnancy kits shoved into one of her boots. It was time she knew for sure. She undressed quickly and turned on the shower. Hopefully Jane was too engrossed in his cooking to decide to join her as he did sometimes. After relieving herself she wiped the stick clean and looked at it. Guess she was going to find out one way or the other. She looked at the door, there was no point locking it, it would only arouse suspicion and there was no point telling him until she was sure. She covered the stick with a facecloth as she waited for the result to show and went into the shower. She came out and looked at the facecloth just as the door opened.

He grinned from ear to ear seeing her naked form. 'Aw, you were quick. I told you to take your time. I thought I might get a little advance on what you owe me.'

He had obviously decided to join her but she'd got out before he made it.

He came up towards her and grabbed the towel from her, drying her off with it slowly as their eyes never left each other.

After a few moments feeling the heat within her rise as he stroked the towel over her wet body she raised her eyebrows. 'You know I've been able to dry myself for years, Patrick. And, I'm pretty sure my breasts and ass are plenty dry by now.'

His grinned again, handing her back the towel. 'Just making sure, wouldn't want you to catch cold.'

He walked back out and she exhaled, thankfully he had been too aroused to take much notice of anything else in the bathroom except her.

She walked over to the facecloth and lifted it.

* * *

Lisbon came out of the bathroom dressed in her football jersey and her hair scraped back in a ponytail.

Jane smiled at her and dished out dinner. She looked at it and then at him without a word. He poured her a glass of wine and began eating. After a mouthful he looked at her. 'You okay? You normally inhale the first glass of wine after a busy day?'

She nodded and began eating her food, looking at the wine in question. After a forkful she stopped eating and stared at him again.

He looked up at her, his face crinkled in curiosity. 'What is it? I thought you liked my stroganoff.'

'I do. It's just...it's just...'

Jane rolled his eyes and motioned with his hand for her to get on with it. 'It's just...what Teresa? If you don't like it just tell me.'

'It's not the stroganoff. You don't know? Really?'

He smiled and took a sip of his own wine. 'I'm sure there's plenty I don't know. What, in particular, are you talking about that I'm unaware of?'

She gulped and then reached for her glass, stopping herself from taking a sip and put it back down. Jane watched her, his face still rife with confusion.

She shook her head. 'You're slipping. You really don't know, do you?'

He rolled his eyes again, getting frustrated with her now. 'Slipping? What on earth are you babbling about, woman?' he laughed.

She got up from the table and went back to the bathroom. Jane shook his head and began eating again. She came back a moment later with something in her hand.

'What's that? 'He asked, his mouth full of food.

Without a word she put the stick on the table beside him. He glanced at it and almost choked on his food, taking a sip of wine to compensate as he read the word 'Pregnant' on it.

His eyes darted to her and then the stick then back to her again. 'You're pregnant?' he said softly. 'But...but how?'

She rolled her eyes and sat back down. She was glad she wasn't the only one in shock. 'How do you think?'

'But...but you get those injections every few months, right? How did this happen?'

She was glad to hear no anger in his tone, just inquisitiveness.

Somehow her appetite had returned and she began eating again. 'Guess they didn't work right.'

'But what about your periods, haven't you been getting them? I presumed you must have had them when we spent days apart.'

She shrugged.

Jane's eyes widened. 'How long have you not had any?'

She bit her lip. 'A couple of months.'

'A couple of months? Since we've been together then? So you might be two months pregnant!'

'Well it'd be unlikely for me to be pregnant before then, wouldn't it!'

An evil part of her was enjoying seeing Patrick Jane out of his depth and not so cocky for a change as worried as she was herself.

He sat back, utterly dumbfounded and shook his head.

'So, what do you think?' she enquired after a moment.

'I...I don't know. How do you feel?'

'In shock I guess.'

He nodded. 'How long have you known?'

'I just took the test tonight.'

'But you've known for two months you could have been. Why did you wait so long?'

'I didn't know for two months, I've only really been worried the last couple of weeks.'

'You still waited two weeks to take a test, why?'

She shrugged.

He looked at her, so obvious to him now that she was pregnant. She was right, maybe he was slipping. How had he not noticed? He knew she had put on a little bit of weight but he put it down to his cooking. And as much as he liked to tease her he was not about to mention that to her. Besides, he liked her with a few more curves. And Angela had been sick as a dog in the early days, Teresa was looking better than ever, glowing even. He saw a line of worry cross her face as she continued to eat with her head down.

'You thought I'd be mad? Or run away? Was that why you waited?' he asked.

She put down her knife and fork and rolled her eyes. 'Jeez, Jane, it's not all about you all the time, you know. Sure I was worried about those things but I'm more worried about me to be honest. I haven't prepared myself for having a child. I don't know what I think about it.'

He nodded and came over and knelt beside her, taking her hand. 'Okay, what was your first reaction when you saw the result? Your gut instinct. Don't think about what I might feel about it, just the first thing that came to mind.'

She looked down at him and moved her thumb over his, thinking for a moment. 'Happy' she said softly. 'I felt happy that I was.'

Jane smiled back at her and his heart pumped in his chest. He didn't think she would ever want to get rid of a baby and not just because of her religious beliefs but that was a different matter to actually wanting one.

She smiled back at him, touching his face. 'You're okay with this, really?' she asked.

He nodded, a crack in his voice, 'I am. But I'm worried too. I mean...I mean you're not exactly...well I mean if we got together ten years ago and this happened then I'd be doing cartwheels but-'

'I'm old. You can say it, Jane.'

He shrugged. 'You're not old but there's a reason why most women have babies younger in life. I'm worried about your health, Teresa. Please don't take that as me saying I don't want this baby but I...I don't want you to have it if it puts your life at risk.'

She nodded. 'I know and I'm afraid of that too. I'll make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and then we'll find out more, okay? Until we know everything's all right let's not get carried away with the idea just yet.'

He nodded, forever the pragmatist he thought, looking deep into her eyes. He bit his lip and moved one knee up from the floor. 'Marry me' he whispered, his hand still in hers.

She looked down at him in utter shock, only then realising he was crouched on one knee.

'What did you say?'

He cleared his throat. 'Marry me, Teresa Lisbon.'

She looked down at him. Love, sincerity and hope all spread across his face. 'Jane. What did I just say about getting carried away? Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry me. We don't live in the dark ages.'

He blinked a few times. 'You think I'm asking you just because you're pregnant?'

'How could I not think that?'

He sighed and got off his knee, going over to his bag and fetching the ring. He carried it with him wherever he went hoping one day he would see the trust for him in her eyes again. He hadn't quite seen it yet but she was happy to have his baby, surely that counted for something.

He stood in front of her with the box held out.

Her eyes darted from him to the box. 'How long have you had this?'

He smiled, putting the box down on the table and taking a seat opposite her again. Before he spoke she had pieced it together in her head.

'This is the same type of box my emerald earrings came in. You gave them to me on our first weekend away together at the Blue Bird. You switched boxes, didn't you?'

He nodded. 'I could see you weren't ready. I didn't want to do a Pike and rush you into it so I waited. Of course, I didn't expect to be waiting this long but I can hardly blame you for that.'

'Jane-'

'It's okay, Teresa. You can say no. I can see you're still not ready.'

'It's just that we've just found out I'm pregnant and now a proposal. It's too much all at once. I can't think straight about one never mind the other. I'm not saying 'no'. I'm just saying 'not yet', okay?'

He smiled, masking his disappointment. 'Okay. I would rather you tell me the truth than just accept when you're still unsure.'

She smiled over at him. 'I really want to see the ring you got me.'

He grinned back, clutching it from the table and put it back in his bag.

'Jane!'

'Nope. Not until you say yes.'

'Are you trying to blackmail me now into accepting?'

He threw her a wicked grin. 'Let me make you an offer. I'll ask you once a week, when you're ready and you say yes then you can have it.'

She pouted. 'Fair enough, as long as you don't propose by bringing a barber shop quartet into work to embarrass me.'

He tapped his fingers to his lips. 'Now, you really have got me thinking, Lisbon. I'm going to enjoy this I think.'

* * *

They lay together that night, Jane's hand running over her stomach.

'It's about the size of a pea, if that' she murmured.

'I know but it's still...it's still a miracle' he whispered, his voice cracking again.

She smiled and stroked his hair. 'You know I never really imagined having a baby, at least not when I was younger. I was too focused on my career. I still can't imagine it.'

'You began to think about it when you were with Pike though, didn't you?'

She bit her lip. 'I guess it was in my mind more then, you know as I got older. Maybe that was part of the reason I rushed into things with him so quickly. But I still didn't know if I really wanted one.'

'It wasn't that. You just didn't want one with him.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'There's nothing wrong with your ego, is there?'

He shrugged. 'Are you telling me differently?'

She shook her head and began stroking his hair again. 'There'd be no point, would there?'

A devilish grin came over his face. 'My birthday.'

'What?'

'I bet that's when it happened. You were going at me pretty hard on that table.'

She blushed and laughed. 'It doesn't work like that you know. Besides we still don't know how far gone I am.'

He looked at her objectively now as if reading a stranger. 'Two months, definitely.'

'Thanks Doctor Jane. I think I'll wait for the official verdict thanks.'

* * *

**A/N: I know there are a lot of good fanfics out there at the moment covering Lisbon's pregnancy but this was my plan all along on coming up with an ending to the story so hope you don't mind another one. I wanted to find a final (nice) way of challenging them both to show their growth.**

**Last chapter up next and another time jump!**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36 – New Life

_**Seven Months Later**_

'I tell you, Steph, I'm in genuine fear for my life!' Jane laughed as they walked around the baby store looking at pushchairs.

She giggled beside him, picking up the odd soft toy and putting it in the trolley she pushed. 'So, I'm assuming Lisbon's mood swings haven't changed any in the last few weeks.'

He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, picking up a baby monitor and reading the box. 'If anything she's got worse since she's gone on maternity leave. At least when she was at work she had other people to take out her bad moods on. If I didn't have such good reflexes I would have had a saucepan hit me the other day.' He smiled and threw the box in the trolley.

She laughed again. 'You know it's her hormones, wasn't Angela like this?'

'No, she wasn't. She got a little weepy as time went on but nothing like this. It's like I'm living with a schizophrenic. Sometimes she's so sweet and teary and then other times I think I should lock up her guns. I never know what I'm going to get from one moment to the next.'

'Well, she's always kept you on your toes you said. She's just continuing the tradition. She wouldn't want you to be bored with her' she laughed.

Jane and Lisbon's lives had changed dramatically over the last few months. After getting confirmation from the doctor that Lisbon was in perfect physical condition and they had got to the three month mark, Jane had sprung into action. They discussed living together and agreed it was time to try that again. He kept the boat and sometimes they would both go there at the weekends to get out of the city until she was, in her words, 'the size of a whale'. He had insisted they buy a house together and she had acquiesced easily, knowing her apartment was too small for them both and a baby. He had wanted a large one but had agreed to buy a three bedroom detached one in one of the nice suburbs of Sacramento with a small enclosed back garden. He had to admit it was much homelier than the one he had in Malibu and as they decorated it and painted it together it felt like a proper home for them both in no time at all. He had moved into her place in Austin but it was much nicer to have found this place together. He had cut back on his seminars and she on field work, a compromise both were happy to make for each other and the baby. He couldn't really concentrate on working if he was honest and preferred to stay at home to make sure she ate properly, only taking seminars that were nearby. She, in turn, had cut down on her work hours. She brought paperwork home with her instead of staying at the office to do it that she completed lounging on the couch with her feet in his lap as he massaged them. He had continued to propose to her and she had continued to say 'not yet'. It had almost become a game between them as his proposals became more outlandish. Only a month ago he had a Mariachi band come into a restaurant they were dining at to do the deed for him, trying his best to embarrass her into agreeing. But she hadn't caved just yet. They talked about the future and what life would be like after the baby. She was going to take a six month break from work and then Jane would be the primary carer when she went back to work, the baby going into a daycare facility near her office when he was going to be out of town on seminars.

'You using the boat at the weekend?' Steph asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

'What do you think? She'd more than likely throw me overboard, I'm not taking that chance' he replied, grinning.

'Great, can I borrow it then?'

'Since when do you ask?'

She rolled her eyes, putting a baby mobile into the trolley. 'I'll take that as a yes, thanks.'

Jane looked at the mobile and took it out, replacing it with another one. 'Purple ducks make no sense whatsoever' he said to her as way of an explanation before moving on to the bottle warmers.

He glanced in her direction and then began to study her face, a smile forming.

'What? You know I hate it when you read me!'

He turned fully in her direction now and looked at her again, a smug expression on his face. 'Why do you want to borrow the boat this weekend? Who are you taking with you?'

'A friend' she replied, crossing her arms.

'No, not a friend. Well, not just a friend.'

'What's the big deal, old man? It's just some guy I met.' She turned away from him and looked at a box in front of her.

He still stood where he was. 'Nope. Not just some guy. You've fallen for him' he stated, a grin on his face now.

She rolled her eyes, glaring back at him. 'So what if I have?'

He chuckled to himself. 'I always hoped I'd see the day it would happen to you. Let's see if you cope with love any better than me.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'Well, that's not much of a competition, is it?' she smiled.

It turned out the man in question was one of Lisbon's agents that she had met when she had come to meet Lisbon for lunch one day. Jane was glad, he was a good man, loyal and trustworthy and he had gone out on a limb for Lisbon on a couple of occasions so wasn't afraid to stand up for what he believed in.

As they made their way to the cots Jane's phone rang. He glanced at it and rolled his eyes, smiling. 'It's the she-devil' he said.

Steph muttered, 'I'd love to hear you call her that in person.'

'Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling? We're almost finished with the list you gave us.'

Steph saw a wave of panic run across his face immediately. This was go time, she thought to herself.

* * *

Steph waited in the car as Jane raced into the house. His hands had been shaking since he got off the call and she didn't trust him to drive.

As he opened the door he shouted, 'I'm here, where are you?'

'In the bedroom' came the calm reply.

He ran upstairs to find her packing a few things into a bag. She glanced at him. 'You ready to go?'

She said it like they were going out to dinner or the movies. He nodded blankly before he went over and retrieved the bag. Just then she crouched over in two and panted, trying to control her breathing through the pain and grabbed his hand tightly. He was about to lose circulation as she let it go as the contraction passed.

'How long in between?' he asked as they headed to the door.

'Um...I'm not sure.'

He turned around to her as they got to the front door. 'What do you mean you're not sure? You're supposed to time them!'

As they reached the car and got in the back Steph listened to them arguing.

The first words she heard were Lisbon's. 'Don't start, all right! I wanted to make sure before we went to the hospital! It might have been a false alarm.'

'So what if it had been? You sent me to the store this morning when you were already having contractions! Tell me the truth, how long?'

Lisbon doubled over in two again, grasping at his hand before she could reply. He had already timed them and they would be lucky to make it to the hospital on time.

'Step on it' he shouted to Steph and she put her foot down on the accelerator.

Lisbon had recovered again. 'Do not Stephanie! Keep to the speed limit, we'll make it.'

Steph rolled her eyes and tried to find a compromise.

Jane glared at Lisbon then his face grew soft again and he spoke in soothing tones. 'It's going to be all right. I'm sorry I shouted at you.' He stroked her face and looked in her eyes.

'And I'm sorry for cutting it fine' she replied, breathing slowly. She added, 'This is really happening, isn't it?'

He smiled and nodded.

* * *

Two hours later Jane looked at the baby girl in his arms as Lisbon slept. They had just made it on time and Lisbon had been a trouper as usual. It was too late for an epidural and she had got through it with just gas and air. The midwife must have thought the two of them quite mad. She seemed unable to push without calling him a son of a bitch or other such words and getting an insult from him thrown back at her in return, her anger at him giving her the means to finally press on. He thinks the first words his new daughter must have heard were her calling him 'an egotistical idiot'. He smiled at the thought as he glanced down and felt the tiny fingertips on his. He swallowed and opened a new door in his memory palace, an adjoining room to Charlotte's, as his tears fell silently on his cheeks.

'Hey' Lisbon said sleepily, her eyes opening slowly and taking in the sight in front of her.

Jane looked up. 'Hey yourself' he said softly, not wanting to wake the baby in his arms. 'How are you feeling?'

Lisbon couldn't take her eyes off them both. 'Like I just got rear ended by a truck and that I couldn't be happier about it.'

Jane grinned and brought the baby to her, sitting on the bed as Lisbon took her in her arms. It was his turn to gaze at them both now, sighing heavily as he watched mother and daughter bond. Lisbon ran her fingertips over her forehead. 'How is it possible to feel so much love for someone so instantly? It's...It's a little scary and overwhelming.'

He smiled and ran his fingertips across Lisbon's face, kissing her cheek gently. 'I've been thinking about my next birthday present. You don't need to bother; you'll never top this one.'

She smiled back at him. 'I think you may just be right.'

'So, what are we going to call her?'

Lisbon looked back at him, tears in her eyes. 'Don't know. What do you think?'

'I think you did the hard part so you should choose.'

She smiled and looked back at her daughter, rolling her eyes. 'You're right about that.' After a moment she smiled. 'Fifi' she said, looking at him for a response.

He saw through her game instantly and nodded. 'Great choice. Couldn't have picked a better name myself.' He went to get off the bed. 'I think I have the registration form on me somewhere' he smiled, pretending to look through his pockets.

He sat back down as they shared a laugh.

After a moment looking at her she said, 'How about Amelia?'

'Amelia?' He thought for a second. 'Amelia Jane. I like it. What made you choose it?'

'Well Amelia Earhart was a pioneer of her time, I'm thinking our Amelia might just turn out to be one too. That, and my mother was always fascinated with her for some reason, makes me feel a little close to her still.'

'Sounds wonderful'

'Are you...are you okay with it being a girl? I mean this whole thing today was bound to stir up some pretty painful memories.'

Jane looked at her and then his daughter. 'Not painful memories, good ones, Teresa. About it being a girl, why, you got another choice for me hidden away somewhere?' He smiled at her. 'I'm better with girls than boys anyway. But no matter which it turned out to be I couldn't be happier that the two of you are healthy and safe. I'm going to make sure it stays that way.' His face fell a little before he smiled back at her.

She smiled at him and nodded. 'We'll both look after each other and Amelia. It's not just your responsibility. And I'm glad you'll be better with a girl, I don't have a clue what I'm going to do with one, I'm only used to annoying boys...and even more annoying men.'

He nodded and smiled, taking one of Amelia's tiny feet in his hands gently.

'Yes' Lisbon said quietly as he ran his fingers over the foot.

He didn't bring his eyes back to her but blinked a few times and smiled. He finally looked up at her with a nonchalant expression on his face. 'Yes to what? I don't seem to recall asking you a question.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'Yes to the question you've asked me every week for seven months.'

He feigned sudden recognition. 'Ah, that question.' He brought his gaze back down to his daughter and moved his fingers to her other foot, enjoying seeing her squirm a little as he ran his finger over the little toe.

'So?'

He kept playing with the foot, engrossed in its feel in his hand. 'So what?' he said casually.

Lisbon gathered her daughter closer to her chest, pulling the blanket she was in over her toes and glared at him.

He smiled as he looked back at her. 'Are you really using our daughter to blackmail me into a proposal? That's not a good role model for her, you know, Lisbon. You're a parent now, you have to think about those things. Besides, maybe I've changed my mind. You haven't been the easiest person to live with these last few months.'

She sat with her mouth open and then began to chuckle. 'And you haven't been the easiest person to be with these last thirteen years. I would say I was due a little payback the last few months. Hope it gave you a little taste of what I've had to put up with all these years.'

'And despite what I put you through all those years you're still here' he stated, gazing intently at her, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

'And despite what I put you through these last few months so are you.' She looked him back in the eyes and he finally saw the look he had been hoping for, she knew he would never leave again.

In a flash he pulled out the box and held it out to her. She grinned and then her face fell. 'What if I don't like the ring you chose?'

He glared at her. 'Do you honestly think I'd pick a ring you wouldn't like?'

She smiled again. 'Open it.'

He put his hand on the top of the box. 'Now, just to be clear, there's no taking it back once I do this. You're not getting out of this marriage.'

She nodded and bit her lip.

He opened the box and knew instantly he'd picked the right ring. It was a simple gold band with three perfectly formed diamonds at the front, the middle one a little larger than the two surrounding. They weren't large but they were flawless. Even still, he was still incredibly nervous and found himself babbling.

'I didn't think you'd appreciate a big rock as it might get in the way of you taking a suspect down. Never mind it may injure me if you punched me on the nose again. And I thought the gold band would go with your cross. I know a lot of people go for white gold or platinum nowadays-'

'Will you just put it on me, you idiot?' she interrupted, her left hand finger already outstretched.

He stopped talking and took the ring out of the box. He had to control his breathing to stop his hands from shaking. He took her finger and began to slip the ring on. Then, they both looked at each other, perplexed, as it only made its way halfway down the finger.

He bit back a smile until he saw her reaction which came a second later.

'My fat fingers' she said sadly as she looked down at the ring which was hovering at her knuckle.

He bit the inside of his mouth until he heard her laugh and look up at him, finally allowing him to chuckle himself. Amelia stirred a little at the noise but soon settled back into Lisbon's arms.

'This about sums up our relationship doesn't it?' she laughed as he moved the ring to her little finger for the time being until her water retention dissipated.

He laughed again then kissed his daughter's forehead. He moved his hand to Lisbon's chin, held it and drew her into a long lingering kiss. His life would never be the same again and he couldn't wait to get started on this new chapter.

- THE END -

* * *

**A/N: Thanks again for all the tremendous support you've shown me throughout this story. I can't believe how many lovely reviews and words of support I've had. **

**My next story is a total departure from my first two. It's an AU of how Jane and Lisbon meet that I hope you'll enjoy. It won't be nearly as angsty as this one (there will be much more humour) but there'll be a little bit in it. It's a multichapter again and it's called 'Deception'. **

**Hope you follow it and enjoy.**


End file.
